What is wrong with me? Just a vent ...

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I love this website because I truly feel as if I am on the wrong planet sometimes. Over the years I have been diagnosed with everything from OCD to Anxiety, Depression, to a self-diagnosis of Aspergers. I am a PHP software developer and I have a very analytical logic based mindset. I consider myself to be a creative person and somewhat of a Polymath because I have written books, music, software, started businesses, and dabble in just about everything. All that is fine as I am very achievement based, however I have a VERY difficult time in social situations. My wife constantly tells me how I just don't have any compassion or emotional skills. Socially, I am not an isolationist as I love to be around people, however I have a difficult time relating to most people. The things people find interesting and exciting and emotionally charging just don't do it for me? I find most television and news trivial and nonsensical, and most conversations people have seem meaningless.The way people appear so interested in others conversations from their facial expressions, to posturing, energy/etc baffles me because I find most topics uninteresting. It is exciting for me to create new software, develop a new business concept, invention, create music, or reach any goal in general. Outside of that I find it a challenge understanding most people. I keep hoping it will rub off if I try to fake my way thru these situations by analytically observing and mimicking 'regular' folks. However I don't know where begin most of the time, or what to say.

I don't know if there is a solution for this. I tend to find lots of beer loosens me up to where I can relate better, but that's about it. Sometimes I feel like Spock from Star Trek, however with a personality. I currently take prozac for my ocd and it helps tame my irritability and obsessive rumination. However I still never feel just 'normal and happy' like most people appear or present themselves to be. The way folks on television and radio appear so chipper about life and happy about seemingly trivial things confuses me and further solidifies my feeling of being on the wrong planet.

I don't really have a question in all of this. I'm just ranting about my confusing and contradictory daily reality.

:wq!magic8ball

This is a good place to rant. It's nice knowing there are other people like you, especially when you're surrounded by people who seem to find daily life basically easy.
*hug*

hey, remember to be thankful for what you DO have-

*a WIFE!! !! !! ! IOW lots of us are envious of you over this fact!
*a renumerative profession which you do well in
*ability to function well around people in general
*VERY high intelligence, IOW a polymath
*have the wherwithal to be a go-getter [proactive]
*an imaginative mind
*are not in the depths of depression [otherwise you couldn't be doing what you are doing, IMHO]

a lot of us here would love to have your problems. i am only complimenting you to the highest degree. if you want to feel more affectionate and compassionate as well as less anxious in general towards folk, i would suggest a nootropic drug, like in the link below:
piracitam and links to other racitams
live long and prosper!
your aunty

Everything you said is very typical of people with Asperger's. Also, I think there is a correlation between Asperger's, OCD, and Anxiety, because I also have all three of those. I can relate to a lot of your sentiments, and I'm sure a lot of other people here can as well.

Thanks for all the comments. It helps. I wish I knew how to formally get an 'official' diagnosis but at 40yrs I can't seem to find anyone who can tell me how... I don't feel I really need it though. I know "I am what I am and that's all that I am " as popeye used to say!

I'm gonna offer you a little inside information that I discovered:

my co-workers always tell me they just take everything in stride, and relax,and that's how they get thru everything...it's worth noting constant cigarette breaks and getting hammered on alcohol seem to be in that diet too.

It's not that NTs actually have it easier; it's just that they cope with it with escapism, and things like alcohol and cigarettes; which hurt in the long run.

I don't use either. I condition myself for certain days at work, and handle problems head-on; I also have a relaxation technique my girlfriend taught me.