Not being taken seriously

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I've decided that I want to go for an official diagnosis and have tried to talk about it with my girlfriend but she just says things like 'I shouldn't worry and I'm just me' or 'it's good I'm not like everyone else' and doesn't seem to understand that however I may seem on the outside almost everything is hard, I just keep it inside and the fact that I find it really hard to explain is making it harder to get that across. It's good she doesn't see me as defective in someway which I've had in the past but I feel a bit like she doesn't want me to do this but isn't saying

She may be worried that you will be stigmatised or "stigmatise yourself"

If you get a better understanding of yourself, and can access help, then it may not be a bad thing.

On a personal note , I was " self-diagnosed" for several years before receiving an official one - so it was basicly to confirm what I had always suspected. It has been a mixed bag.

Best wishes.

She might be having her own problems communicating to you how she feels about it or maybe she doesn't think it's that big of a deal for whatever reason. She might not know how to deal with it, especially if she doesn't know much about autism or AS. Maybe she'll realize you're serious once you're diagnosed.

She just doesn't get it, because she's never been treated like a loser freak. Its wonderful that she says she accepts you the way you are (just wait until an Autistic behavior causes her real frustration and see how fast that tune changes), but life is a much bigger picture than one supposedly supportive person saying "It's okay that you're different".

If Opal is right about sigmatizing, it may be that she's afraid of what her friends and family will think if she's with somebody who's been diagnosed with a 'MENTAL ILLNESS'. Let's even put some spin on it: 'NEURO-PSYCHIATRIC DISORDER'. How 'okay' do you think she'll be with that? And if she's not okay with it, then she doesn't really accept you as you are. 'For better or for worse' as it were.

You need to do what's best for you and your self-understanding and peace of mind. Girlfriends come and go.

That bile having been spewed - if she is serious and sincere, and happily accepts you no matter what the diagnosis, that's something special - hang on to that.

i think your friend was only trying to reassure you that she likes you no matter what. perhaps she doesn't want you to over-think the whole thing and get paranoid about it. however, i do understand how you feel as i believe that only you yourself know the extent of the difficulties and struggles that you're encountering. if you're determined to get an official diagnosis then don't let other people dissuade you. Even if you did have Asperger's, you're still you but with the additional knowledge, you'd probably see very differently the influences which have shaped your personality and the way that you live your life.

I had that problem, when I had green spiked hair, about a year ago. Nobody took me seriously. Now, I'm very well respected, around my neighbourhood.

Suppose it could be true she's worried what other people will think, but her mum already hates me. No idea why as she only met me twice but she won't speak to me or even come to our house. I don't think she knows much or thinks about things like mental illness but my son has adhd and before we got together I made a huge point of explaining that and what it meant etc etc expecting her to run but she didn't and she still hasn't 18 mths later so to be honest I don't think all my oddnesses being given a name will make her break up with me. I'm hoping it may make life easier in fact as I can explain why they are or we can find out why. I want the official diagnosis and the extra help and understanding (even if it's just of myself) it can bring because I'm tired of just coping. Too often my days ae just one big coping mechanism and I want better than that.

In the end it is about you and you are the one who needs to know. Whatever her deal is, she will just have to accept that you need to know how to improve your situation. I think she just doesn't understand- how could she? Another thought is that she has low self esteem and is afraid you will be "fixed" and decide to move on. It is like that for people who are overweight and lose a lot of weight- suddenly their partner feels threatened. I am not saying that is it but it is possible.

Actually I think you may have a good point there, thank you