:nod: Alexithymia has a great deal of overlap with Asperger's. OTOH, alexithymia can also be a result of psychological trauma, especially long-term trauma. (I don't know why you were living with your aunt rather than a parent, but depending on what it was, it might have had a traumatic effect on you.)
Here's an early description of one type of what has since been labeled "[reactive] attachment disorder, disinhibited type."
Lenore Terr, /Too Scared to Cry/ wrote:
The "hail fellow well met" child almost always has experienced repeated abuse. He makes friends easily. Attractive and seductive, he sidles up to almost anyone. But he, like the withdrawn child [another type of attachment disorder], has a fundamental problem with human relationships. He shows little discrimination between people. There are no special ones, no favorite pals. Each person is treated the same. There is no way to get close to this child. The youngster's depths are locked up tighter than Bluebeard's secret room. This child eventually becomes -- because people need to connect with children and will not be able to connect with this one -- a grave disappointment. Volunteers cancel their offers. Foster parents give up.... [These children] may move to more than ten foster homes in the course of just one childhood....
[She describes a girl as an example.] This girl showed no favoritism. She never learned my name, even though I visited her every day while she was in the hospital. She didn't learn other people's names either. She never changed toward me. What I got in the beginning is what I had in the end. All of us...were a blur to this child. We were each treated with exquisite politeness and grace. But we were given nothing of value.
The thinking is that this type of child stands a good chance of growing up to have antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder (or sociopathy)...but more research is needed.
The other type of "benumbed" reaction to long-term childhood trauma is the "withdrawn" type.
Lenore Terr wrote:
Numbing will eventually distort a child's personality.... The numb child may be polite, yet hard to know. Words will not flow easily. Humor may not exist at all....
"Tell me about your friends." "I don't have any." "Do you like to shop?" "Sometimes. At the mall. Alone. I walk around. Don't go into the stores, though." "What do you like to look at in the store windows?" "I don't care much." "How about the styles this year?" "My dad and my stepmother bring clothes home to me." The silence dropped down upon us again....
"I imagine you listen to certain disc jockeys." "No." "Do you like any particular type of music?" "Not really. I put on the radio, but I don't care what plays." I mentioned that I had recently seen Steven Spielberg's /Back to the Future/ and liked it. She gave no response. I then told [the girl] a little about the film and asked what she thought about the concept. "I don't go to movies much," she answered. And that, she must have felt, was sufficient.
"Do you like anything at all?" "Not really." No feelings registered on [her] face -- not even sadness.
I...asked how long she thought she would live. "I don't know how old I'll live. If I get killed -- whatever happens -- then I die young. If I don't, then I guess I live longer."
So you could think about whether either of these sounds like you. Note that a person can have aspects of both.
(And you can see why especially the latter type is easily confused with autism spectrum disorders.)
Do you feel a lack in your relationships with others? Do you want to connect with others? Maybe you both want to and are afraid to?
If all of this is totally off-base and nothing like you, then you don't have attachment issues.
03 Apr 2010, 2:49 am
