Being "labelled"

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I often hear neurotypical people express their disapproval of the "labelling" of people with autism. They probably have the best intentions in mind but they clearly don't understand that this label saves people with autism enormous amounts of grief because a lot of people will not treat someone they view as autistic like they would a normal person and as a result will not expect the same things from them. Once I got diagnosed my mother suddenly stopped hassling me about "not socializing" now its like I'm the autistic guy in the family who is not required to conform to the same standards. Although I probably sound relatively intelligent or child for a 19 year old now the way I physically act is more like a caveman or child. For example the way I eat I don't mind getting food on my clothes and I don't feel the need to change my clothes if i get stains on them. I don't mind eating with my hands because I know when I sterilize them with alcohol it isn't much less hygeinic than using silverware. If there is an antonym for the word elegant that would be the way to describe how I walk and compose myself physically. I personally like the way I am and see no need to change my caveman like qualities but you know how it is in society people think you have mental issues if you're profoundly different.

So pretty much what I'm saying is not all "labels" are bad. I don't label myself as autistic but I'm highly grateful for the freedom this label has endowed me with.

I agree; labels are not bad. It's just that we still have all these stereotypes that are carried with the labels, and they're afraid that if you get the label, you'll buy into the stereotype.

The thing is, though, that labels are utterly unavoidable. If you don't get a disability label like "autistic", you'll get some other label, like--in my case--"stupid", "immature", "rebellious", "dramatic", "lazy", and "strong-willed". (I am, in fact, strong-willed, but in the sense of "persistent" rather than "defiant"... Anyway, whoever said parents need to break their kids' will should be strung up.)

Do you want an accurate label, one that describes your disability? Or do you want labels that call it a moral failure and make you feel as though any traits you exhibit are the result of your not trying hard enough, of being inadequate? I much prefer the first choice.

I've yet to see someone who actually says, "I'm autistic; I can't help it;" and refuses to learn anything, who I can't also imagine doing a similar thing without the autism label by blaming it on their parents or their environment or some other excuse. If anything, knowing you're autistic gives you the information you need to learn things because it tells you how you're different. Plus, it gives you the freedom to let yourself off the hook for being what other people call "weird", and to stop using all your energy pretending and start using it to actually improve yourself.

re. "caveman" like qualities: I don't think it's a problem, IF you learn the conventional ways of doing things so that you can use silverware/wear neat clothing/etc. when you want to. Those are important skills, especially when it comes to employment; NTs get a lot of information from each others' clothing, and it's important not to send the wrong messages, for example, during a job interview.

I don't think their motivations are as altruistic as they like to pretend. The real reason they don't want to 'label' people as Autistic, is if you're particularly high functioning, they don't really want to believe that you are Autistic. They can't see the handicap, so it isn't there - as Callista points out, they find it easier to label you as a loser than to accept a disability they can't see. It's easier to think you're just using the Autism label as an excuse for your personal character deficiencies.




I am both persistent and defiant. I have little patience with idiots and if there's a better way to build a mousetrap, then I'm building a new one and the idiots who are content with the flawed model can get the hell out of my way.

Or fire me. That's usually their solution.

I got the help that I needed in school, because I have the HFA label.

Labels mean we are "different".

If our brains really are wired differently, then NTs cannot rely on their intuition to understand us ... because something different is going on behind the face, inside the head, in the neural pathways. That makes it hard, because NTs are used to using themselves as a measuring tool: to give a simple example - if you complain that your office is too bright because of the fluorescent lights, they think they only need to stand in your office and experience it for themselves ... as though their nervous system is an adequate substitute for our nervous systems. This has happened to me over sensory sensitivity issues. They don't understand or accept: "I am not saying it is too bright for other people, I am saying it is too bright for ME!" Yeah, I am just being unaccountably fussy. It's my fault for being "difficult". Or ... I have a different nervous system - I am sensory sensitive - my brain processes perceptions differently to the brains of most other people. I have a different label.

If we have a different label, then suddenly their tool for understanding us breaks down, and they are in unfamiliar territory. It is easier to pretend that "we are really all just the same" ... and blame the individual for being a moral failure if they display any actual differences in behaviour. When they look at someone's unusual behaviour, they think "I would only do that if ...." and assume that the explanation that is true of them must apply to others ... unless we have a different label, and then they are mystified. They have no measuring tool any more.

Aspies like the label because it validates their experience of feeling "different" every day. NTs can dislike labels because it means they are not as capable of understanding everyone else as much as they think. It is about freedom to be oneself, to be the different person that you are, versus control ("I understand everyone" means that I am in intellectual control of my world - I have got it worked out, I'm on top of it).

Labels can threaten people's sense of being in control, being on top of everything, having everything worked out.

I think that understanding does come through discovery; and I believe it's not until we have discovered our "label" - our autistic identity - that we really get to encounter ourselves.

I am so afraid of being labelled. I am afraid that the label will hurt my chances of a.) finding friends, and b.) finding a job after college.

What's going to hurt your chances is being labeled as weird, awkward and odd. The label 'Autistic' is the only thing you have that can begin to explain those things to people who are made uncomfortable by those who are different.

Who's to say you have to tell potential friends or employers about a diagnosis? There's no reason why you would, except for certain highly sensitive jobs that require you to disclose mental health labels (FBI agent, 911 operator, air-traffic controller, etc.).... Jobs where, if you went into a shutdown, you might end up killing people. Other than that, a label can be kept as secret as you like.

Ah you hit the nail right on its head. That analogy sums it up quite nicely. I unfairly earned the reputation of being tough because in stark contrast to some other people on the autism spectrum I don't have the sharpest tactile senses and as a result have an extremely high pain threshold. I got hit by a car one night and got up and started walking home and everyone was like "you're bleeding I'm calling you an ambulance" and I was laughing thinking they were overreacting but the ambulance showed up eventually and when I got to the hospital I realized I needed 17 stitches on my head, had a concussion, 3 broken ribs, broken nose, and a broken hand + wrist. I happened to have been with a large group of my brothers friends at the time so that earned me a reputation of being a tough bastard. This isn't a matter of me being tough though its a matter of me being hypoalgesic in comparison to many other people. Its all a matter of neurochemistry in my honest opinion.

Being labelled "weird" I truly used to hate. There was honestly nothing worse anyone could call me than "weird" and that was one label I'd get called a lot. I knew I was different but I just couldn't understand why and it bothered me when people singled me out for it because it was like they were trying to tell me I'm different because I choose to be different but that isn't the case at all I'm different because thats the way it is. Honestly it was only after reading the opinions of other people on the autism spectrum after I got diagnosed that I realized there are other people that seem to be very similar to me. Before I got diagnosed I just thought I was blatantly different because I had some kind of mental issues and I was too proud or hard headed to change. That theory didn't quite explain it though since I had no reasons to be mentally disturbed.

Last edited by cabbage on 15 Apr 2010, 1:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I agree with the original poster. During my high school years I was always being lectured by my dad about how I need to start doing better in school, get my grades up, make friends, etc. It was until years later that he finally caved and gave in to the fact that his 2nd son has Aspergers. He understands now why I didn't do well in school, why I don't need friends, and why I forget to do things if they're not apart of my regular schedule.

Since my brother is LFA I guess my dad thought I was trying to take advantage of that and "pretend" I had autistic tendencies.