Pros and Cons to People Knowing (Edited)

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Thanks for this forum, I have learned so much already and have only read a small percentage of stuff.

It seems to me that a lot of people on here are suffering from the stigmas associated with having ASD.

When I was diagnosed 5 years ago, I was so relieved and wished I could be like all the others who knew they had AS and then I thought I wouldn't have been treated so unfairly in school, and in many jobs I had as an adult.

I feel lucky because although I have been treated unfairly, I have never known the stigmas other AS people have to deal with on a daily basis.

I answered the 'Blamed for stuff you haven't Done' thread previously with stuff that happened to me (being blamed) before I was diagnosed, so neither I nor anyone else knew I was AS.

It was THIS ignorance of my condition that I blamed (s'cuse the pun) for this phenomenon of being picked on. Because people thought I was 'normal' NT, they just assumed my difficulties/faults were me being deliberately difficult.

But now it has occurred to me that most of the people who responded to that thread have been blamed for something they haven't done by people who KNOW they are AS.

This puts a whole new perspective on it for me because this is harassment due to stigma.

Whereas I thought it would be better for people to know I was AS, I'm now having second thoughts.

And similarly, if you think people would treat you better if they didn't know of your AS, trust me - they don't. People fear what they do not understand - regardless of whether they know the cause.

Another thing I have worked out, and I'm not deluded here; there is no exception to this rule in my case:

- everyone who has ever picked on me or lied about me has had psychological issues themselves, and been unhappy and insecure. People happy in their own skin don't have a problem with me at all.

Two quotes come to mind:

"We only dislike in others what we dislike about ourselves"

and

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt.

- meaning all us innocent souls who were blamed for stuff we haven't done have given out subconscious messages that we are not confident. People treat confident people with respect.

How has being victimised changed before and after you were diagnosed with ASD?

And do you think you could build your confidence despite being victimised in the past?

I have been stigmatised all my life for some reason or another.......and maybe for a good reason.......I was NASTY in my young adulthood......

I am going to get a T-shirt that says......."Asparagus you say? No, I have ASPERGERS!! !"

Stigma be damned.......I would rather live with no-one than be untrue to myself.

Surprisingly, my "shouting it from the roof tops" has generally been received well.......when one has a sense of humour about it.

I remember wearing a T-shirt that my dad had got me many years ago, before my AS dx, to my last job in a major hospital. It said "People like you are the reason people like me need medication".

Laughed my guts out.......

Mics

Laughter is the best medicine, so you're definitely on the right path.

Love the Asparagus line. How about:

"I have Asparagus Syndrome
- and Lesdyxia" ?