"Just be yourself - Social Conformity"

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I've had a lot of trouble with this personally, and I'm sure it's a really common issue. I found that one of my biggest obstacles was a family constantly trying to change who I was, and pushing me into doing things I simply wasn't comfortable with.

Being disowned by my mother, and learning to hate her so much, it's made it easy to let go of all the things she tried to ingrain in my head about who I was or should be. Now that I'm working it out for once, I'm finding that the results are almost immediate. The more honest I am, and the more I let go of her worldviews, the better my life seems to become.

There are parts of my personality I used to be ashamed of because of my mother, and now I'm finding socially acceptable ways to display them. It's just a matter of finding the right words and expressions for what comes very naturally.

Learning to accept and emphasize my own deeply personal maxims, which for others could involve art, academia, literature, music, or charitable work, it really changes the way people look at me, but in a good way. Doing things I feel I should be doing just as a good human being, it improves my social image all around.

I've accepted that there are large swathes of the population I'll never befriend, or have a chance at dating. There are plenty of others out there with whom I'll get along great. I encounter them all the time.

Letting go of everything people have told me, and showing a willingness to disregard everything I've ever heard, for once life seems tolerable, and it's starting to get better all the time.

I just wish I could have done this earlier. When you're letting other people tell you who you are, or should be, it's incredibly difficult to be yourself. I'm sure this is why a lot of the older Aspies on this site seem to have worked things out. The more successful (happy) individuals here were either lucky enough to have an accepting family, or made the tough choice to disregard what they had been told for years.

Nobody should let anyone else dictate their lives. We should just be ourselves.

I am who I am social conformity makes not sense to me. Why do all the NT's want to be the same? Why do they just not want to be who they are? I can understand the work place part. But the ever day out side of the work place I don't get it and it makes no sense to me.

Because they are the same.
I doubt they are so into their lying that they lie to themselves.
That would just be stupid.

And that still makes no sense to me. But I guess it never will. I like that fact that when I frist tell someone I like Heavy Metal music they have a shocked look on there face. I don't dress or act like a metalhead. But nor do I like to dress like them. I know just who I am what I like and what I don't like or get.

I just like being me.

I prefer to be myself. If people don't like my hair, or my clothes, they don't have to look at me.

That look on their face is just so priceless isn't it?

If you can't be yourself, in 2010, you might as well be dead.

That's about the only time I can really read people the right way. Other times I can never tell.

I transferred schools during high school, and I also found that the "Popular clones" tried to get to know me right away, like a New Toy or something. And as soon as they figured out that i don't act like them, i was pretty much cast out. Man come to think of it , people were mean as hell to me in high school. like not to my face, but behind my back.


Hmm maybe if i would have lied about every aspect of my life, super gelled my hair,and gotten a fake tan, things would have been different... Who am I kidding, that would blow lol

Conformity is why the human race is so easily controlled.

When all the other NT's are being controlled we will step in and take back the world and tell ever one to just be themselves.

Yeah that was me trying to be funny. I'm very poor at it.

The problem with being yourself is that it's not what your friends say it is. Especially the time when I saw when Disney Channel aired those "PSA" about being yourself with the Channel's celebs when I was in a state of extreme harassment. I hated those PSAs not only for the useless advice, but they were repeated at least once every afternoon.

To be on-topic, in order to be yourself you have to sell yourself first to your potential friends. Once your friends understand you, then you can truly be yourself. I did became myself in middle school...but I did not do it properly because I was not programmed from birth to properly be myself.

This reminds me of a quote I heard from a family member: "be yourself, everybody else is already taken."

If everybody in the world were all the same then the world would be a very boring place. I said it once and I'll say it again--conformity be damned.

How can aspies be themselves when their constantly being told, 'don't say this, don't say that, don't be so shy, thats inappropriate" and then the next thing they hear is some idiot telling them "just be yourself"? I mean, how is that possible.?

I also love heavy metal music and get the same looks from peeps!

Same here, and I look like a librarian.

I always took it to imply "and by be yourself, I mean act like me", and as such was a useless statement.

Nevermind the logical flaw, how can I be anyone else?