Think I want a diagnosis

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When my son's playschool said he definitely had special needs at 3yrs old, that was when I researched autism (amongst other things). My jaw just dropped when I read the more indepth explanations about aspergers - it didn't just describe my son. I finally knew what was up with my son, and what really shocked me was that the reason I'd coped so well with him on my own was because without knowing it, I'd basically been looking after a little version of myself. I'd always know we both weren't 'right' but I'd not previously realised it was for the same reasons.

When my son finally got seen by a chlid development specialist, he was diagnosed right away with high functioning autism. They said they didn't want to call him aspergers at his age (4yrs) because it isn't helpful for those more severely affected with regards to accessing early help. My son had the CARS thingy and was also graded moderately affected.

I think I myself am either borderline or mild Aspergers. I get easily confused in conversation and just forget my point quite often. I make eye contact but I don't like it close up and avoid wearing my glasses (am short sighted). I've got a lot of special interests which I get totally absorbed in but will suddenly drop like a hot potato for no apparent reason. Like paper crafts, I perfected nearly every technique going, made hundreds of cards for no particular reason (still under my bed now), then just sort of stopped doing it. I've had lots of hobbies like that. The only things I remain consistently interested in doing are computers and books, but even those interests flicker between obsessive and dormant from time to time.

I've got friends but not a group, I've never had a group. I was one of the misfits at school, but I don't want to talk about school as it was the worst time in my life. I have friends and they love me for being wacky and nutty, and they know I have some weird traits and just see me as an individual which is nice. I think all of them have friends that don't like me though, and I have as many enemies as I do friends. Some of them I'm not even sure why. Most of my closest friends from school haven't added me on facebook and I'm not even entirely sure why. Maybe I've just forgotten or maybe they got so sick of me they don't want to be reminded. I guess my cute nutiness wears off after a while huh?

Anyway, despite having some things about me which say possibly not an aspie, like I have reasonable empathy skills if I concentrate and I can read people if they're being casual and honest (it's only deceit etc that confuses me, but maybe it does everyone!); the thing that really makes me think I must be high on the spectrum is my total inability to cope with uncertainty (think multiple overdoses and hysterical crying fits - I cringe afterwards but at the time I feel totally justified) and my major sensory problems. I was in my 20s before I even realised that I felt sensory stuff differently to other people!! Everyone kept saying I was shouting in the pub etc, and eventually I realised that my throat was hurting so I must have been, and I talked to other people and worked out that they could filter out the other noises to have conversations in noisy places - and I couldn't / can't. I can't touch certain fabrics and was a very hard child to dress in particular, and I respond to pain in a way that really annoys doctors. I'm not exagerrating what I feel though and I wish I could make them understand that. I'm find if someone punches me face-on, yet I can't cope with someone unexpectedly touching my back or side - it sends these shivers all down me and I freak out. Sex life = difficult lol. I have major problems with food though I'm a hundred times better since realising what the problem is, and I can't cope with lots of noise. Everyone takes the mickey because I never watch TV but that's just because it annoys me. In fairness I will watch it sometimes, and even go through fazes of following soaps or dramas for weeks or months at a time, but I can't just have it on while getting on with other stuff because i can't concentrate.

Okay, I've gone on long enough and I don't think I even have a point. If I do then please feel free to respond. I really can't cope with negative comments at the moment though. I just needed to get it out somewhere that I thought there was a chance people might understand my mad rantings.

Welcome- I see you are new. I have read a lot of stories on here where parents have been diagnosed after their children. IT was just like you- their child is diagnosed and the parent researches only to find that they too have many of the traits of the spectrum. I found out about Aspergers after looking up something else, and I found out that I really do fit.

If you want a diagnosis you should go for it. I bet you have an advantage having a child already diagnosed (sorry to put it that way.) It is tougher to get diagnosed as an adult, I am reading. We adapt for certain traits as we grow up.

Again, welcome to WP!

Thank you for the welcome. I've just started to have a read of other posts and will be interested to find any similar stories! My son's autistic advisor said the same about parents being diagnosed after their children are and told me I should consider whether a diagnosis has any benefit for me. From what I gathered, she agreed but thinks I've come far without help. The long way round yeah but I do okay in between the odd "argh don't touch me!" and "oh god I can't cope with this" moments. I did ask my GP just before my son got diagnosed but she said I'm not aspergers because I make eye contact. She said she thinks I've just had a hard life and am affected by my traumatic childhood. I did have childhood trauma, but I had issues waaayyy before it all happened. All the stories I've been told of my early development tie in too.

As my GP won't help, I guess I'll have to decide if I really do want the diagnosis and then find a way to get it. I think really all I want is to be able to use the term to justify myself sometimes when I'm not coping. Like when I get stuck waiting in a hospital and I get all angry and upset because I've been left without any clear schedule. Or when I try to use a new service or go to a new place. I went through a massive ordeal to get a council house because I was in bits about the worries of unstable renting, and in the end they wrote me up as emotionally unstable. Pretty dangerous thing to be called when you've got a kid though! Aspergers would have been easier!! Hope that makes sense.

Don't be discouraged! Your GP is not really qualified. Many people here have said they self-diagnosed because they felt more qualified than their doctor. As we get older we compensate for a lot of the traits, especially women. I think many people are hung up on the male Asperger traits. Females are different. There is a list of female traits in a link here:
http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html

I am well represented on the chart, LOL. Not all Aspies are the same. Some are fine with eye contact. I have learned over the years to try harder to make eye contact so people don't think I am lying or hiding something. I still will not look some people in the eye if I don't like them or don't know them well enough. I had to change certain behaviors in order to survive. I have certain problems that I have never been able to overcome, though, and, like you, when they emerge I want to be able to tell people something that makes sense so they don't think I am just some crazy lady.

I really wonder about GPs and diagnosing ASDs! Some of them seem to rely on "old doctor's tales", rather than the hard diagnostic criteria.

Eye contact is not a diagnostic criterion - it is simply one of the possible signs of social dysfunction. There are many other possible signs, and individuals differ. A lot. You can have AS without poor eye contact.

Just because a lot of people with AS have some characteristic doesn't make it a diagnostic criterion. Most people with AS have some kind of sound sensitivity, but that isn't one of the diagnostic criteria.

Hi CoffeBeans - welcome

If you feel like a diagnosis would help you, I say go for it. I'm 35 and have just started the process. I think it'll be helpful for me because there will be a paradigm if issues and therapy/research. You'll get lots of good info on this site, too.

OMG that link describes me. From being artistic to loving indulging in books and films at home to being mad on computers and crying in public over stupid stuff!! !

People seem to think it's weird how I love entertaining myself especially, but I really like being alone a lot. Sometimes I crave social interaction but not often. I like Facebook more than nights on the town! With friends, mostly I'm Mrs Information Booth and I just like being useful for a spell. I think my friendships are two way and I make a big effort to respect other people and share in their stuff equally, but the big thing I'm after from friendship is being useful. I get annoyed when people go on about boyfriends too, because I don't bloody want one. I had a husband briefly and he made me miserable. He has his share of traits, which is why I think our son is quite severely affected. I love the control I have over my life by being alone. My own bed, my own finances, my own sink full to the brim with every dish in the house and nobody to tell me I shouldn't have MacDonalds in place of doing the washing up!

I digress (as usual). Pumibel what you're saying is exactly how I feel - I want something to be able to pull out and use that explains why I seem a bit crazy. It's not for the whole world to know, but sometimes I do need help with strange things (like the hospital situation, OMG I have had some upsetting experiences).

I guess I just have to go back to my GP and try again. Thanks to everyone who posted x

I think some problems I have had at the doctors pertain to my affect. I am stoic about stuff, like when I am in pain, so they don't believe me. I dont ever seem to be as sick as I claim to be. I guess I should be hysterical. It would be nice to be able to say, "I am autistic so I don't always show my feelings and cant verbalize my problems" or write it down I guess. I do have problems verbalizing.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

I think that you should get a diagnosis, if you feel that you need one, and good luck.

when I first read about AS, I immediately identified, too. I raced to a few mental health councilors and psychiatrists telling them my discovery and expecting them to listen to my well reasoned points and give me the tests.

didn't happen, they were mostly wondering how to get this excited jabbering looney out of their offices.

a couple of years later I got a referral to a clinical diagnosing psychologist for a psychological workup. I just said I was trying to work on a few things in my life and wanted to know what I was dealing with - psychologically. I just worked honestly on all the tests they gave me and kept my mouth shut about my own suspicions. I got a few diagnoses and there, nestled among the co-morbids was the little gem that I knew was there, Asperger's Syndrome, the root of it all.

Now, when I went to a therapeutic psychologist, I have rudimentary chart for the strange seas of my psyche. This saves years of time. ( My time, that is, I have come to understand that most behavioral health providers are not interested in doing anything in a timely manner.)

good luck and welcome home to WP!

Merle