An Unexpected Experience

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Hello! I recorded the following as it happened, in my notebook.

[Backstory: I have recently started a job as a nanny for a family at church. Prior to that, every wednesday I was attending a bible study with my mom hosted by a third lady. This week, as I am a live-in nanny, I went with my employer to the study. My mom came after we did.]

"She doesn't feel like my mother. Walking in with P [my employer] we felt like friends. L [my mom] doesn't feel like my mother. I could easily forget I've ever lived in a house iwth her. I don't feel like I am dependant on her or ever have been. No attachment.

But when I go home [I go home on weekends] it will probably be same old..."

What is this? No attachment to my mother? It felt really strange, but perfectly natural at the same time... What does it mean?

That seems sureal.

Yeah, it was now that you mention it. Is the not-feeling-attatchment Aspergian?

Also I tend to withdraw at the studies. I listen as well as I can but it's a lot of sensory overload for my ears, so everyone starts to become a colorful blob with sound-making capacity. So me not inputting and doodling probably looks quite rude....

Perhaps with your employer there you are in a different "mode" or can not view your mother, or maybe the rest of the world, the same way as you did before being employed. Maybe when you are with your employer you feel you are the independant you and do not need attachment to your mother.
I am not putting this well. Does it make sense?

No, it made sense. But I've felt this "mode" before, and this isn't my first job. Perhaps it was like a field of enlightenment. And THAT is not going to make much sense. But enlightenment like "I don't need to listen to her so much." Though it's hard when I still live at home and won't be able to live in my very own place soon.

I guess it's something I shouldn't be thinking about too much. Even though it was really weird and I thought it would mean something.

From what I've learned from both my own experience and observing NTs' views: this experience is called "growing up."
When you're out on your own, esp. after finishing college, etc., you and your parents enter a new relationship. The feelings of dependency and need vanish. You're no longer the child, you're just a trusted adult.
This enters a final phase if/when you have kids, as the grandparents become even more stranger-like. In some sense, they even start to sabotage your relationship with your children. You're expected to replace this by your own psychological mutation into your parents' roles.
Believe me, you: this is the stuff that NTs talk about incessantly. It's just the standard process of aging; everybody is expected to experience all the stages in order. So... well, congratulations on reaching phase 2.