Yay! I'm Ignorant!!

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Just wanted to get this off my chest, I'm not sure if I was being ignorant or not to be honest, personally I just thought I was standing up for myself!!

I was walking through town yesterday, I heard someone walking behind me who kept shouting,

"Excuse me! Excuse me!"

I tried to ignore him at first (I hate speaking to strangers) but when he shouted for about the 5th or 6th time I turned around. A guy walked up to me, and as he did I had a feeling I knew what he wanted (we have a lot of drug-addicts and beggars in this area, the usual story is that they're either short of a bus fare or short of change for the car park, believe me, in the 10 years I've lived here I've heard every story there is......)

Anyway, before he could speak I said to him,

"I don't have any spare money, sorry"

To which he replied,

"Don't you think that's rather ignorant, what makes you think I want money from you?"

So I said,

"Look, the ONLY time anyone here EVER stops me is because they want money from me. I have no idea who you are, and now you've just called me ignorant! I am on benefits, and I have no spare money, and now you've insulted me too, I have nothing else to say to you..."

He called me a b***h, and stormed off, shouting insults back down the street at me the whole time. I shouted back at him,

"No wonder you've got no money with an attitude like that!"

The fact he kept insulting me till he was out of eyesight certainly suggests my initial assessment about him was correct.....I like the way though that I am the ignorant one because I sussed exactly what he wanted form me!!

Still, my feelings were hurt a little by that comment. I never set out to be ignorant, but at the same time I don't have a great big sign above my head which says feel free to exploit me!

I was proud to stand up for myself though, I've been suckered by people like him for so long now and it's only been very recently I've had the self-confidence to stand up for myself!!

If you're smart, have your checks sent to a PO Box.

Haha, this reminded me of this exchange:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwP2vV6Wm1Y[/youtube]

This reminds me of a time when I was being called ignorant. I was in a nightclub and this guy kept on trying to sit on my leg, so, as I guess others might, I kept on moving my leg out from under him. To explain the scene, I was sitting on a couch that streched the lenght of the night club and I was sitting with some people I know, I didn't know this guy. First he sat on my coat and I moved it, then he sat on me three times. On the third time he called me rude.

I wouldn't take the insult personally, I would like to congratulate you for standing up for yourself because it's hard to do and takes courage.

I hate people approaching me like that. The worst are the official charity tin-rattlers, who seem to think that they have a right to accost people, and everyone has an obligation to them. We also have people on commission to get direct-debit mandates, and they are very pushy.

With street people I make a point of always saying hello (and never giving money) so that they know me by sight, know that I recognize their presence and don't expect money.

He was probably annoyed you made that assumption - or was trying to act that way at least. I have no idea where ignorance comes into it though.

By the way, it occurs to me that this was a mini-interview. He was most likely trying to intimidate you to give him something, and was checking for your reaction.

I had a similar case with a guy who stopped me near my car asking for a couple of dollars, then for a cellphone and then for a ride. I was polite until I had to yell at him, while watching his hands. He left.

I had a crack head at Market East station (about 11pm) flip the f**k out because I accidentally made eye contact and wouldn't give her anything.
...She continued yelling and screaming for about 20 minutes until the cops pulled her away.


Meanwhile, 30th street station beggars ask for a specific amt (like, 25 cents), and if you give it to them, they thank you profusely and walk away.

I like the drunks better than the crack heads.

Falling Down, haha. Loved that movie so much. Awesome clip too.




Anyway, I've had my run ins with homeless people. I usually just ignore them though and keep walking. I've never had one stalk me to the point I turn around for them to ask for money, though. I never even have much money on me, anyway.

I don't think this makes you sound ignorant - just the opposite. You clearly saw it coming and had the guy been meaning to say something else to you he would have. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

It's possible he was going to ask for directions or ask where a place is. I have been stopped in the streets before by strangers asking me where a store is or asking if I know where a store is at or such as "Excuse me, do you know if there is a McDonalds around here?"
Even my mom has stopped people in the streets asking for directions. In Paris, she saw these couple walking by and she saw them carrying a Hard Rock Cafe bag. She stopped and asked them where the place is at. The couple looked at her map and showed her where and she thanked them.

Some people get offended when you accuse them of something they weren't going to do and with me when people are unfriendly to me I tend to be unfriendly back and not nice because of the treatment I am getting. It's hard to be nice when someone isn't nice to you.

I don't know if the guy looked like a bum or if he looked cleaned and bathed.

Haha, he was absolutely classically pissed that you blew his cover, and saw right through him.

In my view, people don't start shouting at you if they want directions (I'm just saying an opinion here, I could be wrong). The guy starting shouting "excuse me" at the OP, I don't know about you but I'd feel that the person didn't have good intent if they started shouting at me this way (I may have even ran away from this person regardless of apperance).

You are right about when someone is mean to you it's harder to be nice to them. About people getting offended about being accused of doing something they weren't going to do, you are also right here but people can also act offended when they don't get their intended result and it's hard to tell the difference on a stranger.

It's the lie thing. Most people will deny it if you accuse them of something - liars usually say stuff like "what makes you think that" instead. Also, if he really was after something else, it would have been much more productive for him to ignore the rudeness and focus on what he wanted.

If I need directions, I usually approach people from the front (not the back) and say, "excuse me, could you direct me to ?" This succinctly makes people know that I need only directions.

If someone was following me with "excuse me, excuse me" I might feel slightly cautious as well. I would turn around and look at them (keeping at least a full arms distance from them). If they need directions, they would ask? If they started in on some story "I just had my car break down/I am short bus fare/etc) I put my hand up (as if to indicate stop) and say, "I can't help you" and immediately turn and walk away. The topic is not open for discussion, if they follow me and try to intimidate me - I ignore them or just say "not interested" and keep repeating it. I stay to well lit/well populated streets as well.

Even if I was asking for directions and someone indicated that they thought I was asking for money - I would reply, "actually, I need only directions, but I share your frustration with panhandlers" and either ask someone else or get my directions from the original person.

Don't feel bad about the rude person getting uppity. They were probably going to hit you up for money or they were a rude person who needed directions and didn't have the social savvy to deal with your initial assumption. Not your problem, but theirs' and theirs' alone.

I always ask that when people think wrong of me. Should I stop asking that now and forget about why someone made a wrong assumption about me?

You're right I would have said instead "I was going to ask for directions, seesh" if I were in that position. And maybe add, "but I guess you're not the right person, sorry I bothered you." I would probably eventually forgive the person thinking they could have been having a bad day or like the person said, they have been bothered by lot of people who beg for money and he was sick of it so he thought I was one of them. But I don't stay upset long over a stranger.



No one has ever shouted after me either, nor have people who ask for change. But there was one man crying having a meltdown asking for money one time when I was going to work and he got louder and louder when no one offered him any and then he got a reaction when he threatened to kill himself if he didn't get any food. Then one young woman sitting diagonal from me screamed at him calling him a bum and saying he wants money for crack. Then finally a 17 year old girl opened her wallet and gave him some and he stopped crying and seemed normal again. But I noticed how he never got off the train to look for food. Then when we stopped at the airport, he never went inside the building to get food. It was most likely an act he put on. Plus it was late at night and hardly anything is open. That was one scary experience for me. I didn't know if he was going to start attacking anyone or take out a gun.