Do you avoid telling people your plans?

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Am I the only aspie who has learned the hard way to not tell people important plans I may have for the future unless the person is somehow involved in these plans?
For example, if someone asks me "So what will you be doing after you get your doctorate", I usually tell them, "I don't know. We'll see." In reality, I do know where I want to be headed and have at least two or three plans in place but I have found in the past that most people are: a) untrustworthy and gossipy, b) jealous c) will try to sabotage your plans, d) will not understand why you have such plans e) will sometimes not want to associate with you if they do not like your plans.

Can other aspies relate?

I've stopped telling people my plans, a long time, because I was always mentally and emotionally knocked down, every time that I told my family members my plans to look for work, or use a money making idea. I've gotten my current job, two summers ago, without telling my parents. My dad found out, third hand, because him and my boss know each other very well.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 02 May 2010, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I do that a lot.

Sometimes. I am afraid of getting criticism and am afraid of hearing things I wouldn't want to hear.

It really depends upon the situation.

The sad fact is it have very few plans for the future. I have never made a five year, ten year plan,etc. I have ideas about what I would like to do, but life is so spontanious, things would never happened as I planned them to.

Where I don't tell people about plans has to do more with people and situaitons that I would get criticism for involving myself with. Not necessarly that they are bad people, but because of the history I have with that person.

I avoid telling people because I am afraid to be criticized.

I never tell people my plans. I don't want them involved in my life, nor do I want to be criticized about it.

I keep my dreams to myself.
There's the folks who doubt you, and then the ones that go bugnuts and try to push you to achieve faster with lots of 'advice'.
I need to do things at 'me' speed.
So, let them think I'm schmucking around... They'll just be that much more surprised if things do pan out for me.

I have the opposite problem; I can't seems to keep my big mouth shut. Am working on this.

only those that need to know are told

Me too. I have problems with people who have something negative to say about my plans too. If it is my dream or vision I don't want to hear that it doesn't make much money, c'mon! The worst is when they act like you cant do it- aren't smart enough pr motivated enough, etc. Why cant people just be happy for you?

I definitely stopped telling people what I'm doing or planning to do, especially my mom. Whether intentional or not, I'm not sure, but every time I would tell her something I was doing or something I wanted to do, she would tell me it was stupid/a waste of time/unrealistic. She doesn't even know I'm currently learning another language because I can guarantee that she would tell me it's a waste of time. She doesn't ask me about my life anyway. I think she assumes that I stare at the wall all day.

Yeah, I don't tell many people my plans. I like to keep things to myself, not because of a fear of criticism, rather because I'm uninterested in most people's advice. Many people like to give it and then next time they see you hassle you about whether or not you've taken it. I stopped sharing most info about myself because of that.

Yes. My plans are my own. I don't feel a need to tell anyone what I'm planning on doing or what I have been doing. When my mom asks things like that I just say I don't know even though I do know. She rarely even asks me anymore because she knows what answer she'll get.

My very deep instinct is to avoid giving info without need to know and security clearance. If I told you what I was going to do tomorrow I would have to kill you.

My wife often feels compelled to pass out information she suspects she should keep quiet - and often regrets it. I suppose there is a happy mean.

I don't tell them because it's my business. I never really thought of why I don't tell them. I don't have to tell people everything.