Hi,
I realise I need a clinical diagnosis but was curious to see if others can see the Aspie in me before I cough up $600 on the consultation. All of the online tests I have done are "likely to be Aspergers"
My sister has taught many an Aspie, when she told me of the quirks the kids displayed... I had all of them.
I Hate when things are moved, uncomfortable when I can't see out, mildly upset when routine or plans are disrupted, dislike hugs and touching and prefer people to be on my physical right side(weird huh?)
I'm Male, 41 and everyday is groundhog day. I have a great job but barely interact with the people I work with, I try and talk to some of the people I work with - mostly just to reduce the weirdness index , Others in the office I am intimidated by and wouldn't dare talk to unless cornered in the lift. I have a problem saying " See you Tommorow" at the end of the workday
and usually wait for everyone else to leave - forcing that social niceity onto someone else.
I hate small talk, I don't care what your kids did in school, what movie you saw or if it's going to rain or not, If your going to talk about something of substance count me in, otherwise i'm not interested.
I'm good with facial expressions although I sometimes monitor too closely and might misjudge a positive as a negative or see a minor negative and take it as being worse than it is.
I generally Think more about the mechanics of social interaction rather than the experience of having it... What to say?, how to say it, voice tone and pitch, how close to the other person?, to interested?, not interested enough?, does the other person want to leave? are they just talking to me to be nice? should I ask that or is it to personal?.
Eye contact is something I have learnt and is something I do consciously... I'll think 5 seconds is enough, look down fow a while and regain eye contact and wonder if i'm staring.
Whats black and white and read all over?... A newspaper.. that childhood riddle took me years to work out as I always took the literal sounding "red".
If someone around me is in distress, I understand and have empathy but I don't know how to react in a sponteneous way.
I was in my 30's before I realised that other peoples motivations were not in-line with mine and thought people danced because they liked dancing, it was a great revelation that people were flirting at the same time.
I have a constant anxiety which I feel as pressure in my jaw and teeth and a thumping fogness through which I percieve the world.
I have a gambling addiction and fool myself every month that I have it beat only to walk past a venue and loose a grand on an impulse.
Not sure I have a special interest(gambling?), I'm a total news junkie and most of my conversations are about current afairs or some interesting fact I have learnt about the world.
My symptoms were much worse as a child, I barely spoke to my parents apart from having my needs met.
Things are better as an adult as I have learnt alot about how things work.
I would appreciate your thoughts on my Aspergers status... Or if it's avoidant personality or just garden variety social phobia
I'd write more but my radio program I listen to before I go to bed is about to start.
Thanks
D.