How autistic do you think you are compared to...

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...other members on WP?

For me, its really hard to answer, as autism symptoms has so many dimnesions. I have this impression that I was really disconnected from the outside world in my childhood, and I mean literally disconnected. I would be in my own world imagining cars (btw, I wrote this blog around 3 months ago on my obsession with cars, its really interesting and not too long http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... &jid=11908) and I would indulge in this "pleasure" and refuse to pay attention to the world around me.
If you asked me about the 1990s and what I was "in to" I can't really answer that question. I was not "in to" anything.

Now, other symptoms I heard from people like being overly nervous and stuff like that, I don't seem to be nervous particularly in social situations but that may probably mean that I don't care.

I'm lower-functioning than the people who are capable of living independently, driving, going to stores by themselves, holding down jobs or having a spouse/children.

But I'm high-functioning enough that I can talk, prepare my own food (microwave, not stove/oven) and perform household chores.

So I am, as my mom says, at the "lower-end of high-functioning".

I'm high functioning because I can live by myself. My job is my special interest so I work very very hard to keep it. I'm able to make friends, I just have high anxiety around them. Sensory issues are there, but minimal and I can work around them easily. I've had a lot of really great therapy though. I'm a completely different person than I was and who I thought I would be.

I'm pretty much on the more severe end of the spectrum compared to most here.

I held down a full time job, but I have never married.

Struggle with living independantly, have a boyfriend but no other friends, and was fired from my only job but on the other hand I do fine academically, my sensory issues are limited to touch and noise so while bothersome they don't stop me from living normally, and I don't do stimming for hours on end. I think I'm in the middle of the high-functioning crowd - Need help with some aspects but good with some things.

I live on my own, pay my own bills, over the Internet, do my own shopping, cook my own meals, do my own laundry, do my own cleaning, enjoy going out, with 2 good friends, and I work, between 3 and 5 days a week.

On the other hand, there's a special interest, that I go on about, some days.

It's really hard to say.

Mpossible to measure, given that it's not even known what autism means. "How autistic are you?" and "How much difficulty do you have doing (insert list of things here)?" might have totally different answers. And even if they were directly related, autism can affect so many combinations of abilities that it may be impossible to simply rank things in a line like that. Too many dimensions.

The higher end, I don't feel there's anything I really can't do. It's just the way certain things make me feel when I do them. Like I can hold down a job easy and did for around a year when I was in HS before I quit. I cook for myself whenever I can because I'm sort of a health nut. I fully intend to strike out on my own as soon as I have the dough.

I enjoy studying alot, but being around the same group of people for such a long period of time puts me on edge.

The relationship thing is sort of a mental block. Like I could never really even imagine letting someone get that close to me. Even my best friend didn't really totally know who I was. I feel a strong need to keep some secrets to myself.

I think I'm pretty high functioning, I can live by myself and can hold down a job. The only things I have trouble with are in the social realm of things and romantically - meaning I can put on a good mask of appearing normal but in truth I have no clue what's going on. As a result, this gives me anxiety. But I'm still young, so hopefully I'll learn to function increasingly with more ease as I grow older.

Dunnow...middle part of the higher end?...maybe?....If I am not totally deluding myself...that is...
I can't drive and I become very anxious just riding in a car, on one hand...on the other hand, I have met more than one HFA who drives...I would have a very hard time raising children without help...I have trouble keeping up with lots of every day things, and I seem to find it harder and harder to talk to people as I get older. On the other hand I am capable of having reciprocal and dynamic relationships with the few people I am on speaking terms with...at least by my standards...I help run two businesses...
really hard to say...I have my share of dysfunctions, and it seems that i don't really fit into any box...
can't really quantify how "autistic" I am compared to people most of whom, I have never met in person...People can judge by my You Tube videos and tell me how "autistic" i might seem to them, or compared to them...or even if I seem "autistic" at all...

My ASish boyfriend was a late-talker and has a lot of autistic traits, but he seems often better than me at holding reciprocal conversations and "casual bonding" even though he does not feel that close to very many people...Often times he will make a big deal about his hangups and boundaries only around people he is comfortable with and can keep his mouth shut about such things when interacting socially with people he is less familiar with, while for me it is a frequent problem no matter the situation...but sometimes I do feel like I need to look after him...

I think when it comes to the social type of issues I am probably worse then allot of the WP people.

But when it comes to the rituals, routines, and sensory type of issues, I am much less effected. (This stuff effected more me when I was younger, but now that I am in my 40s, it doesn't really effect me at all anymore.)

I dunno.

I am able to cook, shop, pay bills, drive, keep the house nice and clean and care for two children on my own. I can not, however, hold down a reasonable job. We live in public housing and receive food stamps. Thats pretty much how we get by. I used to think it would get better, but now realize this is how its gonna be. I'd like to apply for disability payments but it seems very confusing to me. I can not hold a relationship, I either run them off or flip out over something minor (in retrospect) and break it off myself. I do have several friends that I see regularly and I am able to follow through with commitments.

So where does that fall?

I hold down a part time job with accommodations. I don't live alone, cook for myself, manage my own money, or go anywhere alone except work. I can drive, but only about a dozen roads around my house, and only on certain days. I can't pay my own bills, balance my own checkbook, or go shopping for myself. I can't always communicate verbally. I spend most of my time with my cat, watching children's programming on TV.

Not very. But I wouldn't call myself NT either.

I can easily pass for NT. Well, I can easily pass for a bratty, dense, hateful NT, and do so unconsciously most of the time. A bratty, dense, hateful NT whose lips itch something terrible (it's a stim).

I'm probably in the 40th or so percentile at starting conversations. I'm pretty average in the middle-- as long as there are no huge miscommunications, I can manage, with poor eye contact (I have no reaction at all to eyeballs except feeling like I shouldn't look at them, so I can kind of look in the person's general direction some of the time, even stare at their nose sometimes, because I like noses even though the word "nose" and the word "nostril" are both disgusting) and odd mannerisms (my stims are usually pretty unobtrusive, but I never stop). I really can't end them, though. I don't know how. But I'm pleased to report I've actually started running into that problem!

With regard to stimming, I don't have any of the typical stims except rocking, but I stim all the time. Doesn't seem to interfere with my life.

With regard to interests that are abnormal either in intensity or in focus (special interests), I'm probably about average for an Aspie, although internet conversation and years of keeping quiet offline have taught me not to monologue. I still do sometimes, but not too much.

With regard to sensory integration, I have issues that severely limit my choice of wardrobe-- I wear a T-shirt and pants. The T-shirt (which is invariably cotton knit) has short sleeves and is too big. The pants vary a bit-- I have black gouchos, slightly longer black gouchos, brown gouchos and a couple of pairs of jeans. The T-shirts vary only in color and design, but most are black and some T-shirts of the same cut are unwearable. On Sundays I have a simple black dish made of the same stuff as my T-shirts, with a footman's slit (I wonder what it says about me that I can only describe my dress like a hauberk), very short sleeves and white fish designs (not the icthys, but actual fish); I have a bright-colored-and-black skirt; and I have some more fancily-cut versions of the usual shirt, these being three-quarter-sleeved black knit V-necks that like to ride up. Other than that, I'm pretty good, with mild auditory processing issues.

With regard to my understanding of courtesy, it's decent. Well, that's an overstatement. My best friend gets "my deepest sympathies" and our priest gets "hi there!" But I generally have at least basic ability not to blurt out something obviously offensive. Well, except sometimes. I try, though. In fact, this one time, I even exercised discretion for an hour!

With regard to my understanding of relationships, I understand friendship except that I can't lie to a friend at all about something relevant to our relationship and can't lie except by omission or saying "it's nothing, I'm fine" about anything else. I also can't callously disregard someone once I put them in the "friend" category. That's a problem when the friend isn't actually a good friend. I have a decent understanding of familial relations, and maybe teacher-student (if I'm correct in assuming that it's either "screw you I have power" or friendship). Aside from that, I wouldn't say I understand it. I especially don't understand grief. And I know it's not because I'm heartless and I know it's not because I'm sheltered, because I've had someone I dearly loved die and I really didn't grieve. Well... I felt sad for maybe an hour or two, but I was trying hard not to smile a lot of the time that same evening. I feel bad because Grandma thinks the pensive, worried look I got when she brought it up later was out of grief, when really it was out of guilt that she thought I felt grief and the knowledge that it would hurt her badly if I told the truth, sticking me between two of my dearly-held principles, honesty and not hurting people.

With regard to expressive language, it's good enough. It gets sidetracked. I've coined a couple of words, but mostly I don't need to coin words because I don't need them to think. The only reason to coin a word is as shorthand in writing. (Because I don't talk to other people about the things we don't have words for anyway. When I do, I borrow other words that have similar meanings-- I explain that light touch hurts, or that my mother feels red, or that the story is thick.)

Well, after saying all that, I revise my original estimate. I'm nothing to gawk at, but I guess I'm pretty autistic. I just hide it well, and think about "normal" things in a very Aspie way. (And I'm a woman; that changes things.)