Are autistics agressive?

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I've always been told I was and that even as an infant it was if I had a "chip on my shoulder". If someone so much as looked at me wrong I was ready to attack. I think it's because they made eye contact and I found/find eye contact as a threat or a challenge. But I also enjoyed the thrill of a fight. I was not afraid of one either. I would pick them as a child just for the thrill. I remember one girl in kindergarten tattling me out for a compulsion of mine and seeking her out at recess and going for the kill. I think that may have been my "first taste of blood". Anything could easily trigger me and make me fly off the handle. My dad says it's just because of my Saxon heritage and my little niece describes me as "mean". My mum wonders if I could be bi-polar as well as autistic. One of the reasons I have such a hard time around other people is because I have to use every fiber of my being to resist the urge to pounce a person and just start attacking them. Sometimes wish someone would jump me and attempt to rape me, just so I can fight them for the thrill. I used to want to be a professional cage fighter but not after I found out you couldn't go for the privates or bite. When fighting, I go for the kill until they give up or someone pulls me off of them. I was always prone to rages as a kid and the other kids loved to push me into them. The smart ones realized I could be dangerous and left me alone but the stupid ones still continued to push me. I had a special ed teacher who was a pushover and basically let me get away with anything. The main reason I was put into special ed was for the aggression. I attacked my mum the most as a kid and she still has scars. I wasn't trying to kill her I just needed to vent. The shrinks told her it was because I trusted her enough to let my guard down which was true. I would only attack teachers as a last resort to make them let go of me. I can't remember being restrained by a teacher. I think they were too afraid to even try. I defiantly would have gotten arrested if I was a kid today. My little niece who was living with us at the time was like a constant shadow and never left me alone unless I attacked her. She was always invading my space and my parents only let me have my alone time in my room. (f we shared a room she would have been dead by now) I didn't always want to be in my room. I wanted to go and be outside now and then. Whenever I wasn't in my room, she was breathing down my neck. Our neighbors invited me to their church services and I went to get away from her but my parents insisted she could go as well if she wanted too because no one should be forbidden from God's house. I wish my parents would let me have karate or riding lessons that she could not come to unless I said it was okay. That probably would have nipped down on the aggression a lot. By the time her dad got a place of his own and when I was sure my parents would never send me back to public school (I was homeschooled by then) the aggression and rages practically ended. But anyway is it normal for an autistic to be this agressive?

From personal experience, it seems that autistic people are more prone to aggression. My mom has noticed this too, and says that it's because we feel emotions (such as anger) more intensely than NTs and we don't always know how to control it.

Back when my younger brother and I were kids and he bullied me a lot, I threw things at him and even tried to suffocate him once. He always told me that if I were a boy, he would have beaten me up (it's against his personal beliefs to hit a girl). Thankfully, we get along much better now that we're older and more mature. We're practically best friends.

I also slapped my sister once. We were riding in the car, and she suddenly hit the brakes. I screamed, thinking we were about to hit another car (I do that a lot). My sister got angry with me and yelled at me. She wouldn't stop, so I slapped her to make her stop. I felt guilty about it even though she had it coming. I really don't like my sister at all, but if I were to type out the reasons why, I'd be here for days.

For me, I think it is situational.

I hit a man a couple of years ago for saying something really unacceptable, at a time when I was very ill (antidepressants and other crap), and that is the only time I have been physically aggressive in my adult life. I see plenty of violence (I live in a city with plenty of drink problems) and occasionally intervene to stop fights, and I have dealt with intruders in my home without anyone being injured.

I was told I was a mean infant and a mean child, always physically aggressive with my siblings.

I think there are situations (like childhood and the recent event) where there seems to be no escape, and no amount of reasoning will make any difference, and the frustration is too much. And I think my parents and family never did anything to minimize those situations when they could have, and that I manage to avoid those situations well as an adult. But yes, if ever I am stuck in a situation where reason doesn't work then I think I would not show much restraint.

my son who has autism, is very aggressive. i think it is due to his lack of communication so he gets frustrated and hits.

I'm as non-aggressive as a person can get. I'm much more likely to do harm to myself than to others. The only times I have ever acted out physically were situations in which I was baited, verbally abused nonstop over long periods and emotionally backed into a corner with no alternative means of getting the aggressor off me.

As much abuse as I've endured at the hands of bullies, I would never debase myself to become one of them.

I wouldn't say ALL autistic people are aggressive, however I would say that for some autistic people, aggression is part of the problem. I am a very aggressive person. I got thrown out of my past care home for hitting someone (they were calling me a schizo and telling me to get back in my white van') which I know is wrong. The problem is, and I wonder if this is true for other aggressive autists, that no one has taught us to cope with this sort of situation. As a teen, every little name call, every poke, every kick would stay in my head until I just sort of exploded. For me, it is about adressing the little things that make me angry and learning to recognize when I am getting angry.

As a teen, I was quite angry a lot and wanted to fight with people... except I was a complete wimp if for some reason I did get in a fight. I never provoked fights, that seemed pointless.

I have found that a good therapy for me involves a football, a goal and an empty field! I just kick the ball harder and harder until I feel less angry! Better than making holes in my wall any day!

For my young son (age 3, either AS or PDD-NOS; we should know soon, hopefully), it's situational. Most of the time, he is very passive and much more likely to retreat than attack. However, if you surprise him at a bad moment (let's say you touch him when he's not expecting it and he's not had a nap that day), he will occasionally lash out. He particularly dislikes being restrained, so this might happen if his teacher comes up behind him and tries to hold his hand and guide it while he's writing his name (although he now expects this and usually grudgingly allows it). In general, though, if he is stressed out and there's no particularly distressing invasion of his personal space, he's more likely to self-harm than to behave aggressively toward others. I think all people can behave aggressively given the right set of circumstance. James' aggression generally happens when he's overstimulated and hasn't had enough alone time, so we try to make sure things are really non-stressful at home so he has some emotional reserves to draw from when he's out in public, where situations with potential for aggressive responses are generally more likely to arise. I think most people are a little more on-edge when they are stressed out, so I can only imagine that living in a world with a LOT of stressors would naturally give rise to a little bit more aggression, at least on occasion. That's not to say that my DH and I allow our son to behave aggressively without any kind of consequences, but we can usually understand WHY it happened.

I'm a very sweet and gentle person.

CLARIFICATION REQUEST:

@ punkykat: Are you speaking of verbal/mental or physical aggression? Some are meek and defusing regarding physical confrontations, but are very aggressive from behind a keyboard.

I've been told I have a chip on my shoulder. I'm more passive-aggressive than anything.

there is a thing called "Asperger's Rage"

I fall on the opposite end of aggression myself. I have always been mellow and quiet. I internalize, though, and that can lead to some snappiness at times when I have just had enough. I read that dopamine in the brain controls the anger and aggression. If this is true it could be that some people have too much or too little. So I guess I have too little and my sister has too much, because she is a mean angry woman, for sure. The very fact that I clam up and wont talk once she starts yelling makes her even more angry.

What exactly is that? When I was younger, I would overreact at certain times, but I don't know if it could be called a 'rage'. I used to get really upset at certain things, things which might seem petty to most, not that I am proud of it.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 12 May 2010, 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have fits of rage common if I get overly stressed out, frustrated, etc. more than any other person would, I've noticed. Stress tends to put me into aggressive states, mainly just yelling, hitting things, and just having meltdowns. I don't ever get physically violent with people though. It's normally passive-aggressive for me, though. I have to be REALLY stressed/frustrated to actually become aggressive.

As regards aggression physically, I was prone to reacting badly (physically) when stressed or emotionally hurt but otherwise I was ok.

There was this girl when I was in primary who was told to hug me by another girl (the poor girl was desperate for acceptance and did what she was told by the other girls), I didn't want to be hugged and so warned them I really didn't want to be hugged and would hit her if she tried at least five times to the girls and twice to the girl directly. They acted really shocked that I hit her despite all the warnings. I'm a woman btw.

Though I think that aggression in people on the Spectrum is more related to situations rather than us being aggressive people.

I know I have one hell of a temper, and it's gotten me in trouble sometimes. However, my NT father and grandmother have the same temper, so I don't think it's related to AS. My grandmother never learned to control hers and my father hated that. He taught himself to control his temper, and when I turned out to have the same bad temper my parents spent much of my childhood teaching me to control mine...but when I did lash out, it was never physical.

These days I don't get as frustrated and angry. I'm basically a gentle but strong person. I'm an extreme pacifst, but I think I could have gone the other way without my parents' guidance.