How u develop ur social interaction skills?

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LePetitPrince
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02 Apr 2006, 3:58 pm

Since the topic "Question didn't attract a lot of users I ll repost this topic with a better topic (plz mods delete Question thread )

How do you develop your social interactions?
Do you read guides? or emulating ppl or movies? asking ppl ? or other ways?



Fuzzy
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02 Apr 2006, 7:12 pm

I actually worked as a bouncer in a bar for 4 years... I dont recomend that to most aspies and autists though!



Nan
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02 Apr 2006, 8:59 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
Since the topic "Question didn't attract a lot of users I ll repost this topic with a better topic (plz mods delete Question thread )

How do you develop your social interactions?
Do you read guides? or emulating ppl or movies? asking ppl ? or other ways?



Well, when I was much younger I would go to the movies a lot. The first time was to enjoy the movie. The next half-dozen or so per movie were to watch the faces of the actors and to see the reactions of the other actors to them. After I "got" those, I'd watch the audience (without appearing to, they'll think you're a stalker otherwise) and see how they reacted to what was on the screen.

Of course, now with DVDs you don't have to take the chance that someone will catch you staring at them. And you can play them at like 1/12th speed and really see the expressions develop.

And you can try things. Different things to say, whatever. You just try them out and see what kind of reaction they get. Then you'll know what's a good thing to say in a given situation, for when you want a particular effect. I guess it's like learning lines for a play.

Good luck.



psych
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02 Apr 2006, 9:49 pm

emulating people & tv/movies. just the bits i like.



Beenthere
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02 Apr 2006, 10:17 pm

Imitating others. My social skills I guess you could basically say are all an act...LOL. I used to study the more popular kids in school and take mental notes...sometimes it worked...sometimes I couldn't pull it off because I was too uncomfortable.



LegoManiac
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03 Apr 2006, 12:46 pm

I thought I was the only one who did this. Imitating people on TV and movies worked for me once I realized that you have to pick the right characters to imitate (normal, likeable ones). I found out the hard way that trying to be a clone of characters that are outrageous usually backfires. But yeah, i'll often pay special attention to characters that I like their mannerisms. I'll be like, "Hey! Did you see what he did with his eyebrow right there? Rewind that back a sec, im gonna run to the mirror and practice that!"



Tyrail
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03 Apr 2006, 12:53 pm

Emulation of others combined with my new knack of just plain asking if I'm unsure of something.



WooYayHooplah
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03 Apr 2006, 6:40 pm

Everytime I screw up a conversation I reply it over and over and think of all the possibilities. I then try to chat to strangers... people love to talk really, and if you say a joke to someone or if you are nice to a stranger most of them start chatting to you like crazy... at that point I feel uncomfortable and chat to them a bit and then say cheerio - it works and they remember you as a nice person the next time they see you!


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03 Apr 2006, 6:41 pm

Vulcans.....



larsenjw92286
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03 Apr 2006, 6:48 pm

I learn from experience.


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Papillon
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03 Apr 2006, 7:01 pm

How do u develop your social interraction skills?

I wish there was a simpler way to explain it, but where I am now was had 99.9% by trial and error. The other 0.1% has been had from friends and loved ones who have been brutally honest with me about my faux-pas and what they teach me at Toastmasters.

Slaps in the face, drinks dumped over my head, curses, name-calling, doors slammed in my face, firings from jobs, etc... I've been through it all and all of it stemming from my being socially dyslexic :lol:

One thing I've heard of another Aspie doing is studying how world leaders hailing from different countries discuss issues together when trying to come up to a deal that is reasonable to all sides participating in the debate, and doing so in a way that is assertive but neither imposing upon nor offending any participant.

Just a suggestion :wink:


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BrotherGeorge
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04 Apr 2006, 1:01 pm

Trial and error, horrible, horrible trial and error.

I kinda blame the normies simply on the grounds of 'if they told me that I sounded like a ret*d it'd be easier for me to do something about it'. But slowly we learn, and even if we don't... people will invariably see through the flaws in a person's personality if they're actually the kind of person what you want to deal with.



neptunevsmars
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04 Apr 2006, 1:13 pm

Singing songwriting and acting - all stuff that involves being aware of how you look and sound. I particulaly like the songwriting, structuring lyrics for your own voice involves knowing what sounds good when you say it and what doesn't; I tend to remember these things in social situations.

Even when I'm writing posts here I tend to revise them to sound a bit closer to how I talk in real life.

psych wrote:
emulating people & tv/movies. just the bits i like.


I started with Oscar the Grouch and then moved on to The Goodies. Can't remember where I went from there but since moving on to Arrested Development and Little Britain, I've conceded that this may not be entirely healthy.


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Space
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04 Apr 2006, 8:39 pm

you have to be around others to hone those skills. Like someone above mentioned for a job, maybe try something where you have to interact with people lots, then quit after 6 months. You'll probably learn a lot, because you'll make mistakes along the way.



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05 Apr 2006, 2:02 am

ok. I just read this again, got to the first reply and my eyes popped open... another aspie worked as a bouncer? wow! cool! oh! wait. that was me. duuuuuuh. aspie much Fuzzy?



bakachu
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06 Apr 2006, 12:55 pm

internal 'video recordings' of situations, specifically of events that capture my attention for some unkown reason. analyse these, try to identify reoccuring patterns between all the videos, break the patterns down into their components and identify the affects that these components may be causing, then test the patterns/components theorys out through my own behaviour.. watch for the response that these get, and then store this understanding of how things work. Rinse, lather, repeat! move focus on to finding the next thing... and it all starts again, a never ending search! tired