Convincing Psychiatrists HFA/Asperger's is "real"

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My apologies if this has been discussed recently. I did go back and do a cursory search, but I am so burned up right now I can't even research right.

I see one of a rare breed of psychiatrists who hardly ever hands out meds and yet sits for talk therapy for about an hour each week. This is a fairly prestigious person at a big city hospital, though I'm not sure that matters much. I knew him back in the 90's (wayyyyy before I had even heard of ASD's) and took the meds which never worked. The entire 90's was one big misdiagnosis. Stopped seeing him for 10 years and last year found myself living back here, needing someone for anxiety after my 2 young sons were both diagnosed with PDD-NOS within a year of each other.

So back to original doc and tell him "guess what, you missed a HFA diagnosis in me!". Yeah, you can imagine how that went over. For a few months we have danced around the issue, until today we kind of got in an all-out verbal smackdown about the DSM, AS, Autism, semantics. I'm sure some of you know what I mean.

I left there in tears and cried for another 6 hours. I have a history with this guy, I kind of like him, I am NOT interested in finding anyone else (if I leave I am DONE) and I guess the fanatic in me wants to "educate" him about what a "label" means to me. He threw a whole bunch of "I don't like the words normal and not normal" at me and had the gall to ask "how would knowing about you having "this" help me to help you?" UM... maybe because my Aspie brain takes part in everything I say/feel/do/think? He admits his field is "confused" about how this should all move forward, and how his field is "ignorant" about it. But *he* is an individual, not his field, can't he think (or learn?) for himself? Am I waisting my breath? He keeps wanting to know why I want this label so much. I NEVER wanted it, it's just who I have always been. It chose me.

So what I come to you all for is some support, because I've got to stop crying. I'm trying to formulate a plan to educate this one man, a drop in the bucket in the sea of ignorance and misinformation. He works at a hospital that does brain scans of people with autism. Maybe that will do the trick! Is there anything anyone here has said or done (powerpoint presentation? skywriting?) to convince a psychiatrist that yes! autism exists and yes! functioning adults have it! Part of me says what is the point and go find a new guy, but really, will it be any different? I have a written diagnosis from a Psychologist, but you can imagine what he thinks of that. Yes, he's arrogant.

I'm ready to quote the DSM, make lists, use photos, articles from peer-reviewed literature, sensory checklists, see what the APA has to offer, maybe even get that brain scan. Anything else? It's a crusade for me at this point. It's bad enough I get misunderstanding and the brush off from everyday people, I will NOT take it from a medical professional, from someone I'm supposed to share everything about myself with. I am so sad for my sons, that they will face this too unless these doctors start to understand. Do they all think every autistic child just magically turns NT on his 18th birthday? This is what I get for having worked so hard to fit in and think my way through my days on how to "be normal". It worked too well apparently.

Run from this guy. He will not be convinced no matter what you do. It will only cause more pain and crying to try. I have been to 12 psychiatrists and therapists over the years. These people, the ones who are imperious and arrogant, are a lost cause, and can do damage to your life. Save yourself and get way from him.

I understand your desire to set him straight. I am the same way . I still want to write letters to a psychiatrist I last saw 14 years ago, but I try to just distract myself and get over it. This sort of obsession only gets worse.

Find another therapist, maybe a social worker. They are less knowledgeable but usually much less arrogant.. Or a clinical psychologist,

And please know you are not alone. Many of us have dealt with this sort of person. I hope you can feel better soon.

Last edited by bee33 on 24 May 2010, 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I came across a psychologist (for advice on how to handle a family situation) who told me OCD was invented by the drug companies and is learned behavior.

We got into quite a heated argument.

To this day I'm perplexed how he even came up with that as the medications used to treated OCD were not invented with OCD in mind. They were invented to treat depression, which is probably why medication is only moderately successful in treating OCD and most people have better luck with non-medicinal alternatives.

Anyway he was free to harbor his own opinion and perfectly free to express it, though I was never sure why he wanted to in light of the evidence stacked against it.

I could speculate about various reasons why your psychiatrist feels this way. Maybe he doesn't like to deal with things that can't be treated. Maybe he feels there is too much ambiguity and not enough scientific data on the matter.Maybe he feels it's needlessly overdiagnosed.

Or, maybe it's irrelevant to him what you call it. Maybe he'd rather focus on specific difficulties you have rather than assign you a label and write you off?

Or, maybe he's just embarrassed he missed it.

If you are so insisted in continuing on with him, why don't you ask him his perspectives and philosophies on the matter?

It sounds to me that you feel like by him refusing to give you the AS or HFA label, he is ignoring or invalidating problems in life that you feel you have to face on an every day basis, and experiences you have had, but he might not actually be oblivious to this. He might just be hesitant to label it for some reason.

What were his arguments?

Unless you're a fellow shrink with impressive credentials and such I think he's not likely to take you seriously. It's the same reason autistic (and other) input doesn't get into much research -- the "disordered" people are the ones with the bent brains, and you don't take people like that too seriously.

Also, you're also directly challenging him in his profession. And his profession is part of his income, social and professional prestige, and so on. When it's like that people focus on who can affect those things, and that's colleagues, his higher ups at the university, boards of professional journals, and so forth. If you can't affect those things, you're not a 'threat', so he doesn't have to take you seriously.

I hear your pain and anguish. As many of us here will testify.

My dx was not a label, it was a moment of enlightenment, without which I would not have been able to sustain living. Such was the terrible dark cloud of unknowing why I could not love my child like others, or why I could not hold down a job, or find love, etc, etc etc.

When I was diagnosed with AS, I was able to have compassion on myself for the first time in my life. It was like being given a set of gloves and being told, "I think these will be a perfect fit for you." So my diagnosis was like a pair of gloves and now I know how to handle myself with care.

Although I hate all forms of labels, and find most of them deeply dehumanising, being diagnosed AS was like opening the gates whereby my humanity was able to come through.

Diagnosis seems such a crude word to describe the moment of enlightenment that explained why I have always been (and will always remain) the way I am.

The facts are kind, the denial of the facts can be cruel.

I spent my 1st 3 years post Dx trying to convince others of my truth, then realising I was unconsciously trying to convince myself.........such was the level to which I had disassociated myself from my natural orientation and rooting.

Affirming oneself brought me joy and healing, asking the medical profession to affirm my natural self was like asking an aspie to tap-dance at wedding.

I wish you well I really feel your anguish.

All along his main "argument" has been a look of skepticism and disapproval every time I mention AS in reference to myself. We have agreed to disagree up until yesterday but something in me just said that if he can't accept something that I have such a deep knowing to be true in my life (and which closest family and test results also agree completely with) then what is the point of continuing on with him? His protests have been very weak (ranging from "I don't believe it" to not needing a label, kind of like what Chronos described above, to just flat out saying that his profession doesn't really know enough about autism and honestly admitting that he doesn't quite understand the whole "spectrum" idea in the first place). And can you imagine... I actually make eye contact 1 on 1 in a small room with no distractions (gasp!) and do really well communicating online (huh? doesn't that support the diagnosis?!). So, not really arguments at all, just "challenges" to my ideas, and saying continuously that he doesn't understand how looking at me as "a person with Asperger's" helps him help me any more than looking at me as "<first name, maiden name, last name>". Semantics, emotional calisthenics, or fear and ignorance on his part. Who knows? Maybe it even hits too close to home for some (unknown-to-me) reason.

criss, thank you for writing in the post above what I have not been able to formulate in my mind, but yet describes how I am feeling perfectly. I am only about a year post diagnosis, and about 16 months out from the moment of enlightenment that rocked my world and gave me understanding of my entire previous 38 years. The label for it was almost unnecessary, because it was a knowing, yet that's just how I am, I am tenacious about understanding something and getting that "official diagnosis" helped put me on a faster track to understanding. Or so I thought. I have told almost no one about it, and now I know why: I am still a fragile wreck when it comes to having that knowing be enough for me. You are so right, that "asking the medical profession to affirm my natural self" is a fruitless task. And as I have discovered, a quite painful one too. I am so very grateful for this board.

some doctors can't get their egos out of their practice, and i want to smack them sideways.

i had that issue even with my vet. i figured out my cats had an unusual protozoan infection, he wouldn't believe me, i had to teach another vet (who wanted to learn) about it and send across the country for tests to find out i was right.

i feel like in these cases being a woman means you're going to be doubly unlistened to.

Any psych who doesn't believe in AS should lose their license. nuff said.