School not helping still, and Aspie son out of control

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Ckay
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18 May 2010, 1:19 pm

The school is still sending my son home instead of dealing with him. His dad said he had to go and get him last week from school, becuase he told a teacher she had a fat butt. What can I do. He just has gotten to where he says whatever comes to his mind, does not stop and think. He is driving me crazy. Any ideas?


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Cindy


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18 May 2010, 1:30 pm

My mom used the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothin' at all" line from Bambi & pumped that idea into me. But I can tell you from personal experience filtering what is "nice" and "not nice" can be difficult.


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bee33
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18 May 2010, 2:06 pm

How old is he?

Perhaps you could sit down with him and make a list of things to say and things not to say? Aspies tend to have a very literal way of looking at things.



Ckay
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18 May 2010, 2:50 pm

He is fourteen, will be fifteen in August. High School is just around the corner. That is a good idea about the list I will try that with him. He has a strange sense of humor. I wonder sometimes if its just a that. I just think the school needs to learn more how to deal with an Asperger child.


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18 May 2010, 2:54 pm

Peko wrote:
My mom used the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothin' at all" line from Bambi & pumped that idea into me.


My mother did the same thing! That little scene with Thumper and his mom was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the OP's post. :lol:



demeus
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18 May 2010, 3:46 pm

Let see. It is May, in the United States, and your son goes to High School next year. That right there explains why the school is not doing anything. They figure if they can get through the next month, they are home free because then the whole circus shifts to another school and even if you tried to get a fair hearing through IDEA, it would be a moot point by the time a hearing was held.



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18 May 2010, 4:03 pm

I forget which year is which, but I once saw a child development book that maintained there is an alternation - giood year bad year easy year hard year. COULD be - you are hitting a big actout node on top of everything else. Niece has son K who at about that age was being multiply sent home and semiexpelled The past few years have improved. Hang in there. Check out homeopathy and craniosacral therapy if available. Made a difference with K



bee33
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19 May 2010, 12:30 am

Ckay wrote:
He is fourteen, will be fifteen in August. High School is just around the corner. That is a good idea about the list I will try that with him. He has a strange sense of humor. I wonder sometimes if its just a that. I just think the school needs to learn more how to deal with an Asperger child.
You are right about the school needing to do a better job, but unfortunately that is largely out of your control. It's possible that at the high school, which is usually a bigger institution, there will be more trained people who can deal with him better. Have you tried seeking some professional help? There is a list of AS specialists by state here:
http://www.aspergers.com/asplist.htm

I thought he was younger from your original post. He's at an age where you can reason with him, and if he is willing to work on his behavior, you can help him figure out how to act more appropriately. But like I said, it needs to be very literal. He probably doesn't know how people will react to the things he says and doesn't pick up on their nonverbal cues.



Terrapin
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25 May 2010, 8:46 am

That seems to be a really bad age even for kids that aren't Aspies. When I was that age I remember some kids in classes saying much worse things than that and they definitely weren't aspies. But definitely the school needs to deal with that, letting him know what's not acceptable/tolerated, not just send him home. Besides not filtering thoughts though many aspies especially at that age can be easily influenced by other kids but not in the way that people traditionally call peer pressure, they want to fit in but don't and other kids will take advantage of that telling them to say or do things that they know will get them in trouble.