It's not anxiety, I just don't like social situations...

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Does anybody else feel like it's just really hard to explain this to people? I've had two people (a caseworker and a psychiatrist) make note of my severe social anxiety lately. The problem is, I'm generally not anxious in social situations.

When I explain to them what it's like in social settings, I guess they just don't understand what I'm saying, so the closest box in their mind they've got for what I'm saying is the "anxiety" box. But for me, I'm describing the "I have AS and I just don't get it" feeling.

So I'll say that I don't like meeting new people because I don't know what to say to them, and I don't know how to keep the conversation going, so it's awkward. Or I don't like going to a party because I don't know who to talk to and I usually end up in between two conversations, not really in either of them. Or I don't like going through the checkout line with a chatty checker because I don't want to talk to somebody random that I don't know just because it's their job to talk to me, and I don't know how to answer their questions (too much detail, not enough detail?). Or I don't like going to the store because there's a lot of different noises and colors and lights and movements and it's really chaotic and it overwhelms my senses.

But in none of those situations do I feel anxiety. I feel anxiety when I drive by a police car going 5 over the speed limit, or when I realize I've left my purse somewhere, or when I'm about to lecture to a room full of people, or when my academic advisor walks into the room and says, "I need to talk to you..." (and then I think I'm in trouble, even though I never am).

As much as I try to explain this to people, though, they still just go ahead and diagnose me with anxiety. The guy that did my neuropsych exam diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety, at levels which are probably seriously impacting my daily living. Good for him, but it's just not true. Sure, I don't like social situations, and I don't like places where it's loud or chaotic, but I'm not suffering from a major anxiety disorder!! !

Anybody else???

I'm the same way. I don't really have anxiety. I just hate the idea of meeting people realizing that it will probably just be a waste of time. nothing ever really happens. And if you have a good chance that is blown, you can regret it. If you make a bad impression, you can regret that. SOMETIMES they may both happen at once. GOODDY! So it isn't anxiety, but the ackwardness that comes with AS and the failure to really rationalize it given the reward/risk.

I know my chances may not appear great. I RARELY do. I know I may not make a fool of myself. THAT is even LESS likely. But I can pretty much guarantee that I won't see any good come from it. I would just rather stay home and read a book.

Yes, this is a common problem. The "social anxiety" box is the "best fit."

We need some new boxes.

I've been trying to explain this one to my psychiatrist for ages. It's not anxiety, it's boredom. I don't hide from people in the library, I find books far more interesting than most people. Any anxiety I may feel is because of my generalised anxiety.

Is social situations, I feel all kinds of things depending on the situation. Sometimes it's anxiety, but sometimes it's discomfort, or boredom, or disdain, or inferiority, etc. Really, it's like a disconnect between what I'm feeling/what my mental state is at that moment, and how I think I'm supposed to be acting, which is usually not comfortable.

And I use the word acting on purpose - all I ever want to be is myself and I rarely feel like I can be. Sometimes I find a great mask to wear, a persona that I like playing, and have a great time. I do it by blowing up one part of my real personality and pushing down other parts, because the only way I can do it is if it is, in a twisted kind of way, really me. But then I get lots of positive feedback that traps me in that role and when I grow out of it, I don't know what to do. So I usually move a few thousand miles away and start over, where I can portray myself in whatever way I now think will work. It's tiring.

I don't have social anxiety, either. I just hate the superficial gabbing that substitutes for conversation at most gatherings. I hate people getting drunk and stupid. Most of these people don't have two braincells to rub together sober, so getting drunk doesn't help them.

I do have anxiety, but I get it as a result of something I have said in a conversation I did not want to have. If I say something, I am never sure that it came across correctly, due to so many people over time going "eh?" or similar, so I then begin going over the entire conversation until I can convince myself that what I said was fine.

In the social situations themselves, I have to wear the 'listening intently' mask, because I know that the real me would be going "really? How interesting" in a sarcastic tone. That or the cartoon band in my head will be playing a tune more exciting than the conversation.

I think you described that really well. That makes sense, and yeah, we do need new categories. I think all people with AS have what you describe, but on top of that many (like me) have social anxiety; however, they don't always go hand in hand.

I've just been through this same experience with my GP, he tried telling of MY intense fear and worry of what people think of me!! ! after I already told him I don't.

I get very anxious talking to people about my mental health and it seems they see a shaky sweaty stuttering anxious person and put that round person into the larger square category without listening to what we are saying, or maybe I was not as clear due to the anxiety of that situation.