On the matter of Meltdowns . . .

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It dawned on me that my parents have only recalled one meltdown in my past (wound up being a verbal barrage when a sensitive topic came up . . . was about a decade ago, and i dont recall a thing about it). Im just wondering, are there any warning signs when one is about to "erupt," or has it been a sudden snapping? Also, what kind of feeling(s) preceed it (as in, how do you feel just before it happens). There are times when i feel like something in me is about to blow, but its not come to a full blown meltdown yet (unless i get smaller ones <shrug>).

Sudden for me.

Others say they can see it coming in me but I have a VERY hard time feeling it coming. I'm working on that.

It takes a sensitive topic and a lot of sensitive buttons to be pushed, for me to have a tearful meltdown.

It really varies for me. Sometimes I feel like I bring it on myself by putting myself in situations where I know I'm really gonna be pushed socially. I'm kinda trying to "hang with the NTs", but I'm really just getting more and more worked up until I lash out, which is terrible and tends to freak everybody out and make me feel like a total idiot in the process. Just need to learn to walk away sometimes. Luckily, it's been a few months since I've had anything like this occur, and I've really been working on seeing the signs early and trying to take it easy.

I try to internalize my reactions when it happens to me (habit since childhood of bottling things up), so I don't know if this actually counts or not, but this is how I feel when I think I'm about to "lose it:"

-Buzzing/pressure in head

-Light feels too bright/sounds seem too loud (ironically, understanding speech becomes even harder than usual--they seem distorted)

-Racing heart/pressure in chest

-Everything happening around me becomes unbearable--even the most innocuous of remarks, actions, etc., make me want to lash out at whoever's responsible; in my head, I'm screaming "SHUT UP!"

At this point, as soon as possible, I get out of the situation. Saying that I have a headache (which is partially true) and need to go take care of it usually works.

The only thing that makes it stop is lying down in a quiet, darkened room for a while and letting it pass.

I'm not sure what brings them on. I think that if too much stress builds up my body and mind needs to release the pressure somehow, and this is how it manifests.

The worst is when it happens in a public place, like a supermarket (it has on several occasions) and I have to wait until I get home to recover. When I hear little kids having tantrums there, I can definitely empathize (even though the noise makes it worse for me.)

I would describe it as partially a panic attack and partially reaching my sensory stimulation limit.

My meltdowns don't come with tears.

Mine have a long buildup. One of my early warning signs is that my repetitive movements change- they become a lot more spasmodic. Normally they're fairly fluid.
How I feel before them: too many things (could be sensory things, worries, or things that I have to do) to deal with and not enough processing power to deal with them, but I'm being forced to deal with them, so my brain just says "screw this" and I either shut down or melt down.

I'm a very sensitive person. I'm much more of a crier, than a fighter.

Yeah, mine comes with kicking things and throwing things, but I have not had a meltdown in a long time.

Mine are like a volcano....It builds and builds until it explodes. I tend to bury things (not consciously) and then they come out when something little happens. It appears as though I overreact, which is what I have been accused of most of my life until we understood what was happening. When things happen that typical people would react to I usually shut down and feel nothing....this can happen over and over and then one day "snap" probably set off by something sensory. I typically have a drastic change in my personality before I explode...kind of like a PMS thing, very easily agitated...its then that I will usually take my valium because my meltdowns are ugly and I usually throw furniture and or break things so that is not healthy for my kids, its better to slow it down. I have never leveled my anger or meltdowns at anyone as an adult, I could never hurt anyone no matter how angry I get.....well, certianly if someone was hurting my kids, I could. Now if I could just learn to express emotion instead of burying it...I am getting better but if its not there than its not there. Sometimes If I talk about things I can sort of find my emotion, and other times I just dont know what to feel.
I also have small meltdowns when I get sensory overload but they are not as bad. I usually slam doors or stomp around or just yell. My sensory meltdowns were much worse when I was a child. My Mom remembers a time when she had to throw a glass of water on me because she said she thought I was never going to stop. She said I immediately stopped and looked up at her like I didnt know who she was for a second and then started crying. She said it was almost like I wasnt there when I was like that, like I was having a seizure or something. Im glad my kids autistic arent as bad as I was but then again maybe its because I am aware of their sensory needs.
My oldest son who is bi polar had meltdowns and I had to sit on him sometimes to keep him from hurting anyone or running away.

i don't know if my answer will be any help as i'm just recognizing episodes as meltdowns, and as they vary in degree & intensity i'm not sure i understand it. (big relief if these are meltdowns though, as i used to think i just had anger management problems when really i'm not prone to getting angry at all - so confusing) i've thrown things, kicked my pets which is awful and not something i would ever ever do if able to control myself. i feel so terrible about my behavior afterwards. i feel terrible even writing about it. i don't know how to make up for it. sometimes i recover very quickly and other times i just have to lie down and sob for awhile.

i have had meltdowns in therapist's office - she says working with me is like walking in a field of landmines. most are very sudden. *snap* .. the quicker they happen for me, the quicker i recover though. trying to keep composure is a recipe for a much bigger meltdown as it builds and builds ..

any type of frustration will do it - can't find my sunglasses, don't understand instructions, disagreement with someone, being woken up during the night, smells & sounds. i try to understand or stay grounded, but repeatedly pressing the "MAKE SENSE (or CALM DOWN), D**MIT" button in my brain makes me more frustrated - get shaky, feel sick, sort of pressure in the sinuses, then a fuse blows. if i can remove myself very quickly and get somewhere private, i can just cry it out.

i will absolutely not have children.
there's no way i could handle it.

My Aspie sister shows signs of a meltdown (fast breathing, sweating, facial expressions) and if she is removed from whatever situation is causing the frustration the meltdown can usually be avoided. My LFA brothers rarely show signs and tend to just erupt.

Once there is a trigger, which is most often being yelled at for being "rude" when I thought I was being perfectly polite, I can feel the meltdown coming on through these signs:

1. Fast breathing, gasping for air
2. Everything becoming much louder and brighter
3. Tears welling up, which just makes 1 and 2 worse
4. Wanting everything to stop, needing to run to a deserted area
5. Trying to calm down but usually can't

Normally it dissolves into a full blown meltdown after about 20-30 minutes of trying to bring it under control. I pretty much just burst into tears and cry like mad and everything around me blurs out until the meltdown blows over. And for the next day, I'm unusually sensitive to triggers and there's a very high risk of a trigger bringing on another meltdown (I had 3 meltdowns in the space of 6 hours during a camp because the trigger wasn't removed). I only have one instance where I have successfully pulled myself out from the meltdown by catching it early and putting on music to block out the world. But the stress was still there and little things made me tear up a little for the next few days, but definitely less dramatic than the full blown thing.

I don't think I ever had "sensory" meltdowns. I had temper tantrums as a child and I have less frequent rages as an adult. I don't think the experience is any different from an NT getting angry, it just takes less to set me off.

Thank you all for sharing. It's very helpful for those of us in the middle of parenting Aspie children. Sometimes it's so hard to tell when a meltdown is coming...they do seem sudden, but if I look back, I can see the signs. Your descriptions of things building and building definitely explain my daughter and why she goes in waves where she seems to be more prone to melting down and others where she is such a happy delightful child and handles stress with ease (seemingly).

Now I have some physical signs that I can make a little more sense of her meltdown structure and maybe see some of them before the meltdown happens.