Totally changing your life

Post Reply New Topic

Has anyone here with Asperger's Syndrome totally changed their life or attempted to do so? For example, moving away from your family and friends to somewhere completely new and different. Or totally changing your lifestyle where you are. Does anyone want to do this and if so, what do you feel is most stopping you?

I definitely changed my lifestyle and also part of my mindset since I moved from my parents' house, I arrived at a point where I just couldn's stand being there anymore, I pointed that out very clearly and fortunately there was the opportunity of a little house, which is near to my parents' house, but my mind is in another place, a better one.

I've made a total change, back last September. I was a very angry Punk Rocker, who was very bitter towards young people, and mainstream society. I didn't like any of the youth, who were mainstream. I've thought long, and hard, asking myself a lot of questions.

I came up with a solution and I've decided to go back to my Mod roots. It was the best thing that I've ever done, in my life.

Yes. I moved out when I was almost 20. It was a easy change because I was so excited to have my own place and not worry about other peoples messes. I only lived up the road from my parents and they were there when I needed them.

Then I moved out to Oregon and my parents helped. My dad brought me out here and I was living with my ex who I was with at the time. It was depressing because I wasn't settled in and it took me a while to get settled. Then I lived with my aunt and uncle and I brought more stuff back when I went out to Montana for my grandfather's memorial service when he died and I got to see my brother graduate.
Then my parents brought more stuff out to me that fall just before I got an apartment. Then when I got one, my aunt and uncle helped me move in by moving my stuff here too and they loaned us patio chairs because my husband and I hardly had furniture in our apartment. Then my parents brought more furniture out to me after I moved in my apartment. Then my aunt and uncle took pack their chairs.

I still have stuff in Montana but I have no room for it unless I want the bedroom to become a storage room. I brought back my TY beanies and coloring books and some video games and since then I have brought back nothing.

I've thought about moving out to Wisconsin because I have lot of relatives there and I thought about Spokane because it was my obsession and Benny & Joon took place there and it was filmed. But I picked Portland because it's where I grew up most of my life. Plus my ex was here.

Now my parents are wanting to move out here and be closer to me again. Plus they like the city here.

Years ago I had been successfully treated with anti depressants in a double blind study. I was off the meds because the study was over but I felt great. I moved by myself across the country and then I crashed really hard. I was just paralyzed with fear. I was staying at the Y in Seattle and my money was running out. I was so unprepared. I thought with 15 years bartender experience I would have no trouble. I found myself in a cheap motel in Bellingham pounding my head with my fist. It could have worked but I was unprepared. I didn't understand there were things I could handle and things that I couldn't. It was just too much too soon for me to handle by myself.

I'm going to move into an apartment with someone on the spectrum starting May 1st and see how that goes, will be the first time I've moved out on my own.

My lifestyle hasn't changed much other than my cutting religion out of my life two and a half years ago. I do have fantasies of changing my life in some form or other; such as moving to a more liberal-minded area of the country, like the Northeast.

several times my life changed out from under me, so to speak - IOW i didn't try to change my life, my life changed me. being unemployed for over a year and homeless for a bit convinced me i had to do the #1 thing on my list of things NEVER to do [several decades back] and that was to join the military, which was an experience i am glad to be viewing through the rear-view mirror now. that was the first lifechange.

the second lifechange was in moving back in with my elderly parents and becoming their live-in helpers for a while, until they both passed away. for 20 years or so i was in caretaker mode with no real life of my own. i was angry during this time, angst-ridden, a bit spacey in a weird sort-of shifting moody instability of my emotions. during this time i needed meds [norpramin, concerta, strattera] to function at all. i was under a lot of stress in all areas including at work in a hellhole place full of hellhole in the wall-types that i always had to watch my back around. lots of meanies i wasn't allowed to murder or even just strangle a bit. so i seethed. i cried. i raged impotently. the strattera was the only drug which gave me relief. i developed a vivid fantasy life which keeps me on an even keel now.

the third [and hopefully last] lifechange was when both my parents passed away within 2 years of each other, a few years back. then i was suddenly bereft of them and their company, and then everything changed bigtime as i had to quickly find another place to live for the first time since 1988. buying a property and moving is a total pain in the @$$. i never want to go through that crap again. anyways, being totally alone in the world was/is a mindblower. i talk to my reflection in the mirror and have conversations with myself - hey, it works - so far i have avoided staggering naked down the street and babbling to myself in public.

i surely hope there are no more sudden and unpleasant changes other than my eventual matriculation into heaven.

only if it would make my life better

I moved from Arizona to Virgina a few years ago. My next move is going to be to Maryland's Eastern Shore. I would like to live in Europe again. I have no problems living away from my family. I have lived away from them most of my life. I'm a lot happier when I do. I have some wonderful uncles, aunts and cousins that I have good relations with. But we're all scattered all over the US. It takes me longer to develop a support system. But eventually I do. Developing a good support system is vital where ever you are.

I have attempted to change my life but it didn't work. I attempted to move out of home and get a job but for many reasons it didn't work. This year I really do want to change my life by going back to school and volunteering at the SPCA, but I can't guarantee that it's going to work out exactly as planned.

I moved halfway across the world from England to New Zealand at aged 20. I left everything I knew behind including my family to start a new life with my now Kiwi husband.

I'm not so sure that I could do that now but back then it was quite easy.. I had nothing to lose at the time.

I have only recently learned that I'm on the spectrum though.

The first major change I made to my life, was when I enlisted in the Army, at the age of 25. It took me completely away from my family & friends (what few I had) & eventually brought me to Belgium.

The next major change, was when I decided to leave the Army (at the age of 33), but not go back to my home town. I settled about 100 miles away from the town where I grew up. By that time, all of my friends had moved on (and I left behind the friends I had made in the Army.) That change also included a change in career, from music to technical drawing.

I'm currently in the process (at the age of 51) of changing my life again. This time, I'm staying where I am & with the same career. The change started with getting fit - losing 50 pounds (back to the weight I was in college) & learning to eat healthy - and has continued with a specific effort to make friends & establish a support system (along the way, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.) It's going quite well, by the way.

I'm a very different person to the one I used to be. It's very possible to change.

i did. i used to have a job as a management consultant (for 7-8 years) and i gave it all up to do a research degree. I now live on my own. ALthough it's not easy having no regular income, it's the best deicision i ever made. i don't have to pretend to be normal anymore, i do my studies at home and i no longer get "sunday blues" anymore. Monday is just as good as a Saturday!

Yes. I've essentially reincarnated myself several times, just walked away from a life and started a new one. Being in a bad situation can make one fearless--for me, anyway.