It sounds as though your student may be a little less fortunate than I am, with regard to real-world functionality. However I do empathize with his position (and your observation) of the school's agenda of "changing" vs. "teaching to work within". I completely agree with you, that to teach him to integrate and function with his existing abilities is the way to go. I'm 43, and have been basically on my own since age 17. My whole school career was filled with "forced interaction" with peers, and that did nothing but worsen my fear of social situation, and further my awkwardness.
I'm not a teacher, and I trust that there are many other criteria to be considered by the teacher of an Autistic or Asperger's student than I could pretend to advise on. I will say, that the most important thing to me, would be to have learned the ability to respond to, and deal with, total body language illiteracy, and and extremely poor personal communication in general. If your student is anything like me, he will appreciate having a few things in his back pocket to be used in any variety of social sticky places, and in confrontational situations in real life. If he will need to earn a living by career, maybe try to find what he excels at doing, and/or enjoys, and go from there. I was fascinated with radios and TV sets since I was a toddler, so my first career was as a TV repairman. The reason I'm mentioning this, is that although I was as severe a social klutz as one could imagine, I was bold and confident within my sphere of interests. Hence, I had a much easier time interacting with TV repair customers than with people in general. Second, and at least as important, is that I was never taught the fundamentals of finances in school. It sounds goofy, as you would expect a somewhat intelligent man to be able to handle money. I had to learn the hard way, after squandering about $1 mil. of assets inherited (and not in a trust), when I was 18. It's more than just knowing how to write a check... I had that one down pat. The fundamentals of economy, and managing money, would have served me very well. If your student is in a conservatorship, maybe this is slightly less important. If he's not, and he needs to manage his own finances, I hope you can help him to understand what money really is. Not looking to the future is a VERY common issue with Aspies; myself included. My wife is a financial genius, so I concede and I do not advise or interfere with our finances.
My high school experience was such a terrible one as a social outcast, that I dropped out after the first semester of 10th grade (Los Angeles public schools). Although a terrible thing to say about LA Schools, I feel that I have a better education than most anyone with whom I would have remained in school, and graduated. I love to study (ALONE), and later earned an honorary degree from UCLA in the history of broadcast technology. (Honorary due to technicality of no HS diploma.) Later, I took the GED at the hounding of friends, and I passed it in the highest score, with only a couple of hours brush-up studying. Other than adding another piece of paperwork to my bulging file cabinet, I only did that as yet another endeavor to counterfire against friends and advisors who urged me to "better myself". It was indeed comforting that with a GED, I could then go to get a job a Walmart if I ever felt the urge to take a pay cut, and interact with 1000s of rude people.
Most everything I've succeeded in doing, resulted from my ability to believe in myself, and to refrain from being talked out of (or into as it may be), various careers. Friends had beaten the drum at me "steady job with retirement and medical insurance" for a decade or so while the field of TV repair was declining in demand. I accepted a job as my friends would think best for me, in the electronics testing lab at a small defense subcontractor in Los Angeles. I made that last for 3 years, and there was great pay, etc... But I hated the repetition and the interaction with others in the lunch room. I knew after one year, that it wasn't for me. However, in fear of ridicule and belittling from friends and advisors, I stuck it out for the balance of the 3 years. At that time, I met my wife, who owns a farm in Southern California. She wasn't operating the farm; just had it as a land investment. After we knew each other for a couple years, we married, and now we run the farm together. Alone at last!! !! And 100% happy, and earning a fair living. Now I only see people on MY terms, and when I want to be alone with my wife, it's OK. Nobody to tell me that I'm missing out on life because I'm not among crowds, and nobody telling me I need "a steady job with retirement".
With all that said, sorry for wearing out your reading eyes... I know I wrote you my life story in a nut shell, but maybe if one part of it could make a suggestion for your student, I would be happy to have been able to help you. Just to mention; my wife is a former Special Ed teacher from the Dallas public schools, specializing in AS and Autism. She is also the one who finally put all the pieces together, and helped me to be properly diagnosed with Asperger's, and to dispell the wrong diagnoses of the past (everything from depression to paranoid schizophrenia). As a special ed teacher, you never know whose life you may change for the better, and very significantly so! On behalf of those in the position I was in during school years, Thank You for your attentiveness, and your time spent finding and posting on this site. Now I'm out of time, so I can't go back and proofread all this mumbo-jumbo, so please excuse any errors.
Charles
07 Jun 2010, 8:56 am
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