Did you relate to other children as a child?

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musicboxforever
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10 Jun 2010, 4:53 am

I was thinking about this because my friend likes children and plays games with his friends kids when we are at their house and they adore him, but I don't like children that much. I didn't even like children when I was a child. I don't know what to do with them. I like toddlers because everything is new to them and they are exploring things and come out with really funny ideas, but babies and older kids are uninteresting to me. I felt quite bad admitting this to him.

I think it stems from not getting on with other kids when i was little, my Mum says that I wasn't a child, I was just shorter. I never really knew why they didn't like me, I was just different somehow, so now I'm a bit suspicious and bitter about children. They might look sweet and innocent, but they can be evil! Not all of them of course, but I had some bad experiences that have stayed with me lingering in my subconcious.



Chronos
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10 Jun 2010, 4:59 am

For the most part, no, I did not.



TheHaywire
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10 Jun 2010, 5:02 am

Nope.



Ambivalence
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10 Jun 2010, 5:10 am

No. In retrospect, not even the one or two I thought I did relate to.


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ToughDiamond
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10 Jun 2010, 5:15 am

I had mixed success with the other kids. I was generally OK playing with just one or two, but any more than that and I wouldn't be able to get the "group thing." It was as if I felt that all their attention should be on me, and I had little patience with their ideas. I had a poor grasp of what their games were about, and would just make up my own rules and expect them to abide by them.

Things were a lot more "aspie friendly" in those days.......parents would insist on us doing things in a very orderly, peaceful manner. I'm sure that helped.

Before puberty came along and ruined everything, I was fairly happy to play on my own - I didn't really need so much time with other kids, and would readily opt out if their games didn't appeal to me. That tended to please my parents because they used to worry more about me when I was with people, they always thought I'd stray too far from home and get beaten up or run over.

There would often be some younger child who was getting left out because they were too young for the main group, and I'd usually find the younger child would "adopt" me and follow me about because I was the only one prepared to give them a little bit of time......I'd find it an embarrassing chore but I guess I empathised with their loneliness, so I never turned them away, though I was often relieved when they left.

As an adult, I didn't like children much at all until I became a father. But that changed everything........I'm rather out of practice these days, but as recently as 2 years ago I was doing fine with a relative's little boy - it was a side of me that my wife had never seen before, because I'd rarely related to most of the people she'd introduces me to. Kids don't usually have half of the stupid prejudices that adults have, they're a lot more likely to just accept you for what you are as long as you don't hurt them. Even so, I can feel a lot of strain when in charge of kids, and I feel a lot better when I know there's another adult I can hand the torch to if it gets too difficult for me.



auntblabby
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10 Jun 2010, 5:17 am

by and large, when i spoke to adults i spoke as an adult would. this did not endear me with the other kids, whom i generally avoided.



monkeybutt
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10 Jun 2010, 5:29 am

I didn't like other children when I was young unless they were much older than I. I really WANTED to like them and play with them, but most of the time I was just so frustrated and usually hurting (from their treatment) that I tended to dislike them. When I did have people I hung out with (I don't think I'd really call them friends) they were always a lot older than I was.

As a parent I frequently mutter that I don't like children. I like babies, as you also said, and I don't mind them when they get old enough to talk like real people. Little kids though, I sort of avoid.



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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10 Jun 2010, 5:30 am

Not really, I never realized I wasn't an adult, I preferred adult company and often avoided peer contact and contact with younger children till my teen years.



Valoyossa
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10 Jun 2010, 6:06 am

I often heard Why can't you (do something) like (name of other kid)? and I replied So exchange me to X, if s/he's better than me. But I was never exchanged and I didn't know why. When our cooker was broken, they bought a new one. So they should exchange me if I was broken.

I didn't think of other kids, but I knew I should play with them, so I tried. Without success. I was pissed off that I can't do my task. I didn't want to play with them, but I knew it's required.
Sometimes I played with older kids. Adults didn't like me. During meetings I used to read a book and live in my own world. Adults told me You can't spend all your life in the world of books! exactly like now about Net ( turn your comp off and go to party ).


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DarkAngel
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10 Jun 2010, 7:27 am

Nope.



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10 Jun 2010, 7:29 am

No. I was completely uninterested in them. They did not like that. I was bullied a lot. I was still uninterested in them, I never understood why bullying interested them.



enid
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10 Jun 2010, 7:42 am

Mostly- not.

I always felt really different to other kids, and they always seemed quite dissapointing. I was MUCH more inteligent than most kids- (ok, nearly all) and they all seemed so dull. My IQ is more normal now, but at the time it was divisive.

I got very frustrated, and played alone most of the time, because noone shared my interests, or I'd argue too much. Also comprosmise is a learned art; something I learn slowly.

It's weird you don't like kids now- I find children MUCH easier to speak to, as they are so route 1. Just direct, no smalltalk, no hidden currents.
Gah- sounds so depressing, but i really was very happy building dens out of mud on my own. :lol:



Kiley
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10 Jun 2010, 7:49 am

I had a hard time making friends as a kid. I misinterpreted a lot of social stuff, that looking back I realize I overreacted to. I think that's the ADHD. I desperately wanted friends and had a few sometimes, but was generally pretty lonely.

As an adult I adore children. I find their little minds fascinating. I like smart ones, and not so smart ones, NT ones, and different ones, gifted ones and challenged ones...so interesting.



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10 Jun 2010, 9:03 am

I always preferred the company of older people. I didn't often share the interests of my peers, and so I spent a majority of my time alone or hovering on the outskirts of older social crowds.


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CockneyRebel
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10 Jun 2010, 9:07 am

I related to children, very well, until I've reached puberty, at the age of 10. Once I was 10, and I started my period, that spring, I saw kids, as annoying monsters, who just wanted to run around. I love kids, once again.


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Callista
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10 Jun 2010, 9:25 am

No.

I didn't really think much about other kids. In the fifth grade, I made a brief attempt at befriending them, but found it was boring and gave up on it.

Nowadays, I can relate better to kids and teens, as well as to adults over sixty, than to adults my own age. Those groups expect me to be different because of my age difference, and there are more explanations and fewer behavioral expectations.


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