Ever told you are "rude?"

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It seems people here have told this many times.
Why can't some people come to an understanding
we Aspies have problems with social interaction?

Uh, yes, many times.

I've been told that, many times.

Yes. I'm either "too quiet" and withdrawn or "rude." I can't win.

**le sigh**

Yes. Rude, inappropriate, out of context, too quiet, too talkative, staring too much....

It's a long list.

Is this a trick question?

Last edited by Wuffles on 06 Jun 2010, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yes, everyone thinks i'm one or a combination of the following things:
-arrogant
-self-centered
-aloof
-crazy
-annoying/immature
-paralytically shy

i've been rejected in almost every single friendship/relationship i've had with someone.

I'm frequently told what I say (or my general demeanour) is 'rude'
or something equally negative...

Many a time have I angered someone unintentionally because of an apparent negative attitude
or from me supposedly being impolite...

Last edited by Sol-IV on 06 Jun 2010, 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ALL the time.

A big part of it, for me, is that people say i'm arguing when i just think i'm discussing, adding some information, or correcting something.

Rude is a compliment compared to some of the things people have said to me. Whichever the case, they all make me laugh.

This happens with me alot. ¬_¬

In fact, I generally dislike hostilities and so would never intentionally enter into an argument with anyone,
and yet various people assume I am responding to them negatively...

Last edited by Sol-IV on 06 Jun 2010, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well much of the problem stems from the fact that AS is 'invisible'. Short of wearing one of those 'I'm with NT --->' t-shirts, most people that I meet never realise that I HAVE AS. Most of them have never heard of it. All they see is someone, me, who is oddly aloof, or says inappropriate things, etc.

Well, I've been called an as*hole or rude because I am typically driven to not use euphemisms and state opinions on things that are emotionally charged topics.

The one example that nearly gives me a smirk is my stance on tipping. My views are logical and fair, yet it has had people screaming at me. I refer to this one because we all know that in the USA, people are a bit moronic and irrational when it comes to tipping. In other words, one can be very articulate with words and arguments that perfectly resonate as respectful and considerate and STILL be called an as*hole (see below for another term used).


I've received comments on two forums in the past that basically read:
"good post even though it's black"

People have agreed with me based on my arguments and still find it okay to attempt to use a derogatory and racist term to describe my views! Humans are silly beasts (sadly, I am just as silly at times).



Now, to perhaps give you a short chortle on a discovery I made. One time I was on a forum where I read through a persons post and verbatim, I thought this:
"Logical argument, but this person is an as*hole"

...A second or two later I looked up to read the poster was me. I had forgotten that I had posted a reply on that topic (it was months since that posting I believe).
So, first to state that I have and will at times have flawed views or commit some logical fallacy, just to be clear I am not daring to say I am some absolute tower of logic and rationality. The point is that the way I lay my views out appear to be assholey at times. I have been working on this though, as I have learned by researching how to argue/debate that you can shut people off from seriously thinking about your argument if you trigger their defense mechanisms (it's another annoying human flaw).

Since the purpose of argument and debate is to try and take what the other side presents to see if your stance is countered and you are attempting to convince them of your side, it only makes sense to accept how you present your side does in fact matter.

haha - so it all comes down to that I really do sound like an assfuck at times without even trying...it's natural! People at times are not wrong for calling someone rude! The thing is, I don't care if someone is rude overall. Look at Christopher Hitchens... I find it VERY unappealing how he interrupts people, to the point it makes me cringe. However, when he does state valid arguments, that rude crap he does is ignored and it doesn't impair my ability to critique him. Whereas, I have noticed some people can't get past how rude he is and ignore the validity (if it happens to be) of his argument.



P.S. In regard to the word "black" being used. I find it amusing that I could not understand what it actually meant without thinking about it for a while. I kept on trying to make sense of it and in this case I kept on processing it as the color black. So I tried to understand what the color black meant within that context. The AS thingy with taking things in a literal sense and having context issues provides for lots of strange visual representations when imagining what is being said.

Many, many times. The worst part is when I ask what I did wrong all I get is a blank stare for an answer.

I get that one a lot. Sometimes they'll actually tell me what I did wrong. Usually, it's so nonsensical that I get angry at the person and end up not learning anything about their silly world.

Just be yourself.

(just kidding)