Are aspies hypocrites?

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I have Asperger's. And, like everyone else (AS & NT), I have flaws. And I want to be accepted despite those flaws. However, when I see the same flaws in someone else, I can't stand it. Half the time I don't even realize this until someone else points it out.
Here's some examples:
-If I'm learning something, it might take me a while to get the hang of it, so I ask whoever's teaching me to slow down or repeat what they just said. But if I'm teaching someone else something and they don't get it right away, I get frustrated and impatient.
-I like to joke around with my friends...sometimes I go a little too far though. But when they joke around with me I sometimes take it seriously & feel hurt.
-When I finally get the courage to open up to someone, I end up dumping all my thoughts, feelings, life story, problems, etc. on them. If anybody did that to me, I'd get annoyed and wish they'd shut up.

This makes me feel horrible. I don't want to be a hypocrite, and I don't mean to be either. Does being a hypocrite mean you are aware that you say one thing but do something else, or can you be an unintentional hypocrite? Are other aspies like this too, or is it just me? Am I able to change this, or is it because of the way my brain works that I am unable to?

Everyone is a hypocrite sometimes. I can be one too. Like I call myself names but if other people do it to me, I don't like it and I hold it against them.

I have gotten annoyed by people taking things literal I have said but yet I take things literal. I get annoyed when someone falls into loop holes in what I have said but the same thing happens to me. I get annoyed when people don't get things but yet the same thing happens to me.

And I sometimes give people advice I don't even follow but I guess I want them to be better than me.

I have an eating disorder and I have said things like "Starving yourself makes you gain more weight" "When you starve yourself to lose weight, you gain it all back when you start eating normally again" but yet I did those things myself. I just don't want people to head there too so I tell them that hoping they stop themselves from heading there. But I'm eating better now.

Perhaps a hypocrite, but perhaps you just don't read your own emotions very well or other people's - that is a common problem for Aspies, I think.

Maybe you speak what is on your mind without realising how other people will take it, and maybe you hear what others say without really understanding what they meant. So you end up accidentally being hurt by others, and accidentally hurting others. That doesn't make you a hypocrite, just less skilled in social interaction than NTs are. Like many of us. And if you also find it hard to modulate (control, manage) your emotions, then you may find it quite hard to control your reactions when others do things you find frustrating or annoying - even though you want (and need) them to control their emotions when dealing with you.

A hypocrite is a person who knows what to do, is able to do it, wants other people to do it, but chooses not to do it themselves. An Aspie might not even know what to do in social and emotional situations, may very well be unable to do it anyway, but still wants (and needs) others to do it. That is not hypocrisy, that is a lack of skills and a lack of emotional self-control. It is frustrating, and makes interacting (with NTs especially) harder, but that doesn't mean it is a moral fault. Deliberately hurting people is a moral fault, and not making any effort at all to control you feelings, may be a moral fault - but hurting people unintentionally, and being unable to control your feelings, are psychological weaknesses, not moral faults. Over time - with practice and thought - you can become better skilled at understanding the social rules and managing your emotions, but you won't just do this intuitively.

I am in my 50s and I still don't know how to tell when to kiss or hug other people socially, even when others are doing it around me - unless someone has actually announced: "Now we will all greet each other with a hug." Then I usually manage to do it with someone "safe" and then engage them in conversation so that I don't have to go around doing it to other people as well. Social and emotional situations leave me feeling uncertain about whether I have done the wrong thing or not. They are really puzzling sometimes.

Perhaps as an aspie you are aware of your own limitations but for some reason you expect the NT world to be perfect (it isn't). When, once in a while, you discover this it provokes a reaction like this.

Vanilla_Slice

People dislike in others what they dislike in themselves. At least you know where the feeling is coming from, some people have no clue at all about where a feeling comes from.

Some people don't even realize they are being hypocrites because behaviors they don't like in other people, they don't realize they do it themselves. Same as when they give lectures about other peoples behavior, they don't realize they do it themselves.

I see it more as double standards than hypocrisy. I think everyone has double standards in some areas of their life. But if you are aware of it, then that's half the battle, because you can then adjust your behaviour accordingly.

I think its less about being a hypocrite, and more along the lines of when we finally understand something, we think others will understand it the same way we do, but we get frustrated when they do not. Its not so much about hypocrisy as it is just that our minds do not know how to interpret others when it comes to trying to understand the same thing (brain wiring issue that's come up). We perceive the world one way whereas other people see the same thing another way entirely.

One thing I do poorly is gauge the effects of my words on others. I find this kind of thing daunting. Often, I don't realize what I say will be taken as insensitive or annoying, insincere, even. Of course I feel hurt and victimized when people insult me or are insensitive towards me, but often I am toward them without even being aware of it. I could appear hypocritical because of that.

I think everyone has at least one instance of being a hypocrite in their lives. But if you at least admit your flaws and try to fix them, its okay.

There's nothing hypocritical about it. It's part of human nature to be most annoyed by our own faults when we see them in others. It's a learning opportunity, especially if we can't accept that feature in ourselves, then we project it onto others. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's _______." Fill in the blank, you'll see your own faults.