What is an aspie to do in an NT world? Reply ASAP

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NomadicAssassin
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12 Jun 2010, 9:03 pm

I was born and raised in an NT world, for roughly 13 years I did something I don't know what, after that well my world came crumbling down upon me, now I am trying to build my world again but I don't know if I can make it in this world, I'm 16 and I just look at my future in confusion i don't know what I will do? I can't manage to get a job because I'm terrified of being stuck in an unfamiliar place for 7 hours, and I can't live on my own because I am not able to manage my life without help.

The people we call NT's, they crowd this world in masses and as the website says, am on the wrong planet, I just don't comprehend them what do I do I even recently asked my therapist what he could do, he simply said "Ive done all I can I have nothing more to help you and what I have given dosent seem to be helping". Really depressing my therapist office, what do you do when the person who supposed to help you can't help?


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Linear2
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12 Jun 2010, 9:51 pm

find a new therapist. i saw a couple before i found one that i liked.



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12 Jun 2010, 9:55 pm

I second the option of finding a new therapist. Some are duds. I had one who watched me drop a load of weight into a dangerous zone back when I was fighting an eating disorder and she was certain it would "work itself out".

Then again, I also had a psychiatrist who, when I presented to him during a manic episode a few years ago decided that Bipolar wasn't bothering me right now and that he didn't need to mention it to my new doctor.

Why do we pay these guys, again?


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redwulf25_ci
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12 Jun 2010, 10:20 pm

Linear2 wrote:
find a new therapist. i saw a couple before i found one that i liked.


Find a competent therapist. That was not an acceptable response to your question. Make sure they actually know something about AS it's possible that the reason what they did didn't help is because it's designed to help NT people.



Sparrowrose
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12 Jun 2010, 10:24 pm

redwulf25_ci wrote:
Linear2 wrote:
find a new therapist. i saw a couple before i found one that i liked.


Find a competent therapist. That was not an acceptable response to your question. Make sure they actually know something about AS it's possible that the reason what they did didn't help is because it's designed to help NT people.


I believe that, in the past, I was actually damaged somewhat by therapists attempting to treat me using methods that work for NTs. A therapist who doesn't understand and have experience with AS can be worse than no therapist at all.


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kia_williams
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13 Jun 2010, 2:53 pm

Quote:
Sparrowrose:
A therapist who doesn't understand and have experience with AS can be worse than no therapist at all.


This is absolutely total 100% agreed with, however much its liked to be thought of, psychology IS NOT YET actually a science, its a discipline similar to engineering or architecture, theres definitely use of the scientific principles (or attempts to), but ALOT of it is "as you go along".

Try and find a psychologist with actual experience, GOOD experience with autistics, try asking them what they've thought of the autistic people they've worked with, what they've seen.

If they come back with the sort thing said by someone who has only seen videos of autistic people "misbehaving", get another one.

You'll know the good ones because your Aspieness wont bother them, they wont force you to adapt your self-expression for them, they'll give you space with it in one to ones, and you'll notice THEY adapt a bit, they'll be calmer, less pushy more "friendly", instead of somehow cold.

Also, dont expect them to have all the answers or even most, they wont because they cant (unless they happen to be HFA themselves) know, where they can really help is an objective veiw and maybe some tips/tricks you didnt know.

Your life ISNT over with your diagnosis and you dont have to conform to the criteria it sets, on the one hand knowing why your a certain way deep down can help, its permission to be that way, but like everyone else NT or otherwise, you DONT have to "be" that way all the time, someone can be a very angry person, but not lash out, sometimes with some things you can put the effort in, is it harder for us, damn right, is it different for all of us? damn right, can we push ourselves to for a time function in a way different to our make-up, damn right.

your diagnosis, doesn't enforce limits on you below what you've already achieved, so if you found adapting to a new school hard, but you could do it without big time meltdown, then you can adapt to a new workplace, it'll be harder for you, but you've already done it so you can do it again. just remember to give yourself "space" while doing it, functioning contrary to ones needs or design can be harmful if there isn't proper self-care involved at the same time, knowledge is meant to empower us, not restrict us.

There is also options, you know you cant "live alone" why? if its that you cant keep organised enough, there's probably someone or a company out there who'll do things like, help keep your bills paid on time(certain banks will do that), or come and clean-up once a week(chances are a neighbour might, or a national autism organisation might know of a group in your area), Learn about yourself, then Adapt both yourself and your world, alot of supermarkets now deliver due to online ordering.

Your life isnt over because you know something that gives you permission to be who you are, it just means changes. (horrible i know)


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Kiley
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13 Jun 2010, 3:19 pm

I agree that you need a therapist, you also need some perspective.

You are 16. You shouldn't be working full time; you should be in school, and maybe working part time. Maybe you have good reasons to try to bypass growing up and go straight to adulthood, but you are expecting way too much from yourself. Our society is set up for sixteen year olds to be in school struggling with their identity and wondering what they'll be when they grow up. There aren't a lot of employment opportunities for kids your age and making a viable life at such a young age is not easy.

Can't you go to school and give yourself some time to work this stuff out? I think your fears and worries are quite natural at your age. What kind of job skills can any sixteen year old have? What kid of life skills? That's not a put down of sixteen year olds, you simply haven't had the time you need to prepare for adult responsibilities like supporting yourself and working full time. If you can't live with your family is there a teen group home that you could live in while you finish school and get some job skills?



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13 Jun 2010, 3:29 pm

Linear2 wrote:
find a new therapist. i saw a couple before i found one that i liked.


Ditto! You need to find a therapist that "gets it." If yours has done all he/she can already, it's time to get a new one.

Long term therapy, I am learning, is almost critical, but it's got to be with a therapist with intimate understanding of AS. Most don't have it, and aren't qualified to provide it.

Whenever someone tells you "I don't know what to do," always ask, "Then how do I find someone who can?"

Don't let them off the hook so easily. They may not be able to help you, but they are supposed to try to help you find someone who CAN.


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