getting involved in groups

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I'm bisexual. I've never really gotten involved in that sort of scene. When I lived in a big city, the LGBTQ scene was too big and noisy for me. There's a group near me of Lesbian and Bi women that meets weekly. I went once, and there were only about five people there and it was low key and not noisy and I didn't have to talk, so I didn't mind it.

I've been spending sooo much time alone. I don't really do anything right now except immerse myself in my interests, which is great, but I'm kind of lonely sometimes.

Tomorrow night the place holding the group is having a T-shirt decorating night for Pride. The Gay Pride march in my city is happening on Saturday and they're getting together to decorate T-shirts to wear in the march.

Here's the thing. I'd like to decorate a T-shirt and march in the parade. I probably will not march in the parade. I don't know anyone and would be the random weirdo marching alone. I like doing things alone, but even I might feel like a weirdo doing that. I wouldn't mind decorating a T-shirt tomorrow though.

Is is weird to have gone once a few months ago and then have never shown up again, suddenly to come to their T-shirt decorating night, which is not just the women's group but everyone involved in the LGBTQ community?

The thing holding me back is anxiety about being in a group. Is anyone else held back from participating in things like this? Would they think I was weird for not showing up for so long and had only attended one group? Would you go to the event tomorrow night?

I still worry about group situations too. I'm okay with maybe up to four people, if I know them well. After that...not so much.

However, I'd say go for it. I think they'll be very glad to have as many people show up at this event as possible.

If anyone does ask why you decided to come back after such a long absence, say something like "Well, I had a lot of stuff going on (work/working on your music/whatever) but decided that I wanted to start coming again."

Or something like that.

In actuality (don't take this the wrong way) probably no one's going to care--people come and go from groups all the time, for many reasons.

Let us know if you decide to go. If you decorate a T-shirt, take a photo of it if possible (maybe on a camera phone) and post it here.

Good luck.

Groups are always happy to have people show up. I don't think anyone is going to ask you why you haven't gone in a few months.

Marches are usually happy events, people tend to be friendly and feel energized (even when it's for a somber cause, like an anti-war march, for example). I don't think you would feel weird marching alone, so you might consider going to the march too.

I think this is a special situation because of the nature of the gathering. You are showing up to support the cause. I think this kind of gathering is delighted to have people turn up and support what they are doing. So II think you'd probably be well received.

I'm asexual but that probably orginates from not wanting to be around people period. I've never had any desire for sex or friends. Ugg! Leave me alone!

I understand being asexual but if you really dont want to have friends or be around people why do you come here?
Im not trying to be rude It just doesnt seem very logical to me.

WP is a website, not a roomful of 686 physical people, which would have me running for the hills.

I agree that physical is different from the computer but If you do not want interaction with people it seems odd to post on a web board. I know people who have complete relationships online...there are other people here. You are not physically in a room with them but you are interacting with them so that shows a want or need for friendship or human interaction. Anyway, its not that important, It just didnt make sense to me but then again I have the tendency to over analyze things.

I don't think it's weird at all to go when you want and not go when you don't want. Now, if you only rarely went to meetings and then showed up asking for something, that may be inappropriate, but T-Shirt decorating night sounds good. Events like that usually bring out lots of people who don't always come. Fun activities make a lot of feel comfortable at a meeting while regular "just talking about stuff" meetings don't. You won't be the only occasional attender there.

What they said. Physical people make me uncomfortable and never have anything intresting to say. But people on messageboards are miles away and I can talk about what ever I want to talk about not not be told that is not on topic.

I might chicken out. "Lots of people" makes me nervous. I think I'll try and go to the march on Saturday, and then when the group goes back to regular meetings with fewer people I might go back.

I already used up my people time today.

That makes for a good aspie quote.

I managed to convince myself to go to the women's group. I didn't make the t-shirt group but I went to the lesbian and bi group. I'm not a big group person but they're very welcoming so that makes it easier. The first thing they said when I walked in was "Yay, you're back." so that was all right. There were 10 people there.

I didn't talk in the group but during the break I did manage to talk to one of the women about my university's music program, which is one subject I'm really into. Also my chair was broken and it rocked a bit so I unobtrusively stimmed some anxiety away.

All in all, it was a success. But now I'm most definitely peopled out. I left the group half an hour early.

I did find out that there's a Pride march for women on Saturday so I might go to that, even if I go alone.

I think that they'll just be happy that you showed up.