when did you first realize you were different?

Post Reply New Topic

i realized i was an outsider at a very early age. i was only 3 or 4 years old when i discovered i had trouble socializing.
my first memory of not fitting in:
i was outside, in the schoolyard at my preschool. a group of girls invited me to play with them. i didn't feel them as people. when they spoke, i'd interject with suggestions on how they could improve their word pronunciation and grammar. i was one of those rare little kids who never cutely mispronounced words and i found it odd that everyone else did. i was avoided by almost all the other children. they told me to go away and to leave them alone because i was "just like a teacher". today i still have trouble fitting in, minus the verbal proficiency.

has anyone else known they were different from a very early age? and how/when did you find out?

First grade. I was just treated differently by the other children. I would also get in a lot of trouble on accident.

ditto on the preschool troubles.
and before preschool age, I would wonder when my parents would stop hiding the "real universe" from me. (the universe that they and everyone else don't know of as it turns out lol)

Hi Antique Toy, I can empathise with that description of childhood. I never remember fitting in, even before school, it was obvious my parents saw me differently from my younger brother. He was allowed to play in the street. They kept me inside.

I first realized I was different at 5 years old in the beginning of kindergarten. I didn't talk much and the teacher thought I was weird. I also had physical problems such as tongue-tie (where I couldn't stick out my tongue), and under bite (still have it, but will get it fixed soon), and really bad breath due to my tonsillectomy not to long before I started kindergarten. I have been different all my life, the only time I felt the same to everyone else was b4 starting kindergarten. I even felt normal in preschool.

I realized it when I was 3-4 years old. My parents realized it a bit earlier. Especially at school (in The Netherlands we start going to school when kids are 4yrs old) I noticed that I was an outsider. Teachers told my parents about that as well.

Never did.

Always, I guess; and looking back, I think even my parents could tell as far back as the early years; funny enough, my mom was Autistic too...and my Dad's definitely got something; it ain't Autism, but it's close....

I was always treated differently by family and classmates; always.

Maybe you realized that all others were different.

other people are an illusion I have

you are all my fantasy

I am not different compared to me.

Probably not until 6th or 7th grade. Then again, it was more likely a lack of self-awareness than anything else.

This is great. I'm sorry but the image of a wee little 3yr old grammar nazi seems comic to me.
In other words, your history of awesomeness goes back all the way.

I'll go with that, regarding 6th/7th grade, and the lack of self-awareness, to a point.

One thing I always hated though...everyone always used to ask me "how are you doing in school?"

I still hate that question.....cause I didn't care! I cared more about how He-Man stopped Skeletor from breaking into Castle Grayskull that week or which series of Real Ghostbusters had just been released...or how to stop Doctor Wily than I ever did "how I did in school". It just felt like they cared more about something that everyone else was good at that I really struggled at to do even remotely well at, then...you know...anything at all that I was good at, and cared about.

I guess when I started interacting with children my age other than my brother at about 5 I realized other kids didn't like reading and fantasyworlds as much as I did. They also commented how I didn't get stuff, how I talked like a book and "sat like a mommy" i.e with my legs crossed and that I was weird. At that age it didn't bother me much though. When they came and wanted to play I'd go with them sometimes. Sometimes they didn't want to play and that was fine. I got in trouble for telling them I wanted to play on my own though, they started crying and their mothers thought I was rude and mean. I also carried a book with me at all times from about 6 and wouldn't answer when spoken to (I just couldn't hear them) and then they told me I was mean. I couldn't understand how anyone could hear while reading a book.

Nah, I don't feel and never have felt that others are actually real/alive. So in a way, I've felt that it's only been me on this planet.

Now, I think differently as I can see cause and effect (I got this at 25; I'm 28 now), but it doesn't change how I feel.

I think I was and am a bit more socially and emotionally disconnected from others than your average "aspie".

As some others have said, I didn't realize I dind't fit in with others until pre-school when I was first around lots of other kids. I spent most of kindergarten hiding under a big table and biting anyone who tried to get me to come out.

I've started to realize that I was different, at the age of 6, in kindergarten. I noticed that I was in this small class, with 5 other kids, and the other kindergarten class was a big class, with a lot of bullies, who tried to do anything that they could to physically hurt me.