Self diagnoses = "fake AS?"

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This is a bit lengthy, and a bit deep. Please read it through though. These are some important thoughts I really hope some of you think (I mean really think!) about.

I decided to post this as its own thread, because even though there is one already that originally started on this topic this weekend, it has kind of taken a turn to a slightly different topic.

I have a question. It's mainly directed toward those of you who feel that self-diagnosis = "fake" Autism, but anyone's answers will do fine.

It's an honest question, because I really don't understand why anyone would feel that way. I especially don't understand why anyone with "proven" Autism would ever feel that self diagnosis is wrong.

First, Asperger's usually includes a very distrustful attitude toward an "NT world." Yet those of you who feel that self diagnosis is wrong have no problem accepting NT professional diagnosis of yourselves. That confuses me.

Second, Aspies spend a great deal of their life and time frustrated over not being accepted for "who they are" by the outside world, yet some of you with "real" diagnoses refuse to accept that those of us who diagnosed ourselves actually have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm further confused, because so many of you complain that the world doesn't try to understand you, yet you won't try to understand us, all for the lack of an NT's opinion.

Third, and finally, I am currently self-diagnosed, so when you say self diagnosis is fake Autism, you're talking about ME, and I have to be honest I'm offended by that statement. What do YOU know about ME? Nothing except what you may have read from me on this forum, or on one of my sites, if you've ever gone to one of them. Certainly nothing that gives you the necessary knowledge to pass judgment on me where AS is concerned.

When you say, essentially, "If a doctor didn't diagnose you, you don't have it," you are effectively saying that nothing matters if some doctor isn't the one who said it. Okay then. Are YOU doctors? If not, then by your OWN reasoning, what gives you the right and knowledge to say I DON'T have AS?

But here's what I really (I mean really!) want you to think about:

I have already begun getting the wheels turning to GET a firm diagnosis, be it "Yea," or "Nay."

If my diagnosis comes back as, "Yes you most definitely HAVE Asperger's," how are you all, who deny that I have it because I diagnosed myself, going to react to that?

Am I suddenly a member of your exclusive club? Am I suddenly your "comrade in arms?" Yer buddy? Someone who gets it, because "now he's genuine?"

And if so, how do you think I'm going to react if that's the case? Do you think, after being told I'm a fake, I want anything to do with your precious club?

Think about it.

What makes YOU think you're so right?

Look, I'll be the first to admit there probably ARE quite a lot of outright "fakes" here on this forum and elsewhere. There are fakes among every group. I call them "posers."

But do any of us really have any sure means of knowing who they are? Sometimes the truth slowly reveals its ugly head on its own, yes, but until then, is there really any way any of us really KNOWS that much about any of the rest of us. (Excluding, of course, anyone you actually DO know in person.)

The attitude that self-diagnosis = "fake" just does not make any sense to me. I can only surmise what could be the reasons for it. Is it that you once had a tight-knit community and suddenly there are thousands more "outsiders" claiming to be among you, and that makes you uncomfortable? I don't know. I'm ASKING.

If diagnosis is what you need to "validate" us, and some, if not MANY of us actually DO become validated by said diagnosis, but have received previously unaccepted treatment from you, how do you think that will affect the kind of relationships you have with those of us not yet diagnosed once we finally ARE diagnosed?

Do you even care?

If you do, then please, think about what you say, and how you say it. Think about why. Think about whether it's even worth saying at all. Think about the consequences. I know that's hard for you. It's hard for me too. We BOTH have Asperger's! Considering consequences isn't a strong suit for most of us.

But man! I think we can ALL agree this NT world SUCKS for almost all of us. The last thing ANY of us needs is to be trashing each other.

So, before you go calling any of us "fakes," think about the fact that even your strict guidelines might one day be fulfilled by a lot of us. And if what you do now pisses us off now, it's going to be pretty darned hard to accept YOUR acceptance later.

I came here looking for like minded people, and I found them. In EVERY person I've spoken with so far, including those of you who seem to think I'm a fake. I say even you because I actually DO understand where it's coming from. What I don't understand is the logic of it. And the only reason I can think of for sure that the logic doesn't add up is that maybe those of you who are calling us fakes, haven't really thought it through.

I'm asking you to think it through now.

"I want to like you people; and I want you people to like me. But there can be no liking without respect..." ~ Virgil Tibbs, "In the Heat of the Night"


'Nuff said.

oh, this thread again

Yes. Why can't people say something such as "I fit a lot of the criteria and wonder if I would have been diagnosed with AS if I was a child today?" The self diagnosers use it as an excuse to be an ass on various messageboards and as a result other people think AS is just an excsue to be an as*hole. Self diagnosers make people feel it is okay to cyber bully someone who is authenitcaly AS and I have no sympathy for them...so sue me.

Nope. It's another thread. Trust me, it's not the same one. Look, not ALL of us have had this conversation. If you're sick of seeing it, they why waste your time opening it?

If you've got nothing to say, just say NOTHING.

Oh, wait. Sorry. That's exactly what you did, isn't it?

Sort of this.

Saying you identify with autism is different than self-diagnosing yourself. Self-diagnosing is dumb, and results in nothing but HFA being taken less seriously than it already is. But cyberbullying? hurrrrrr

Sooo...

The answer is to blithely dismiss anyone who diagnoses themselves? The answer is to make a sweeping statement that we ALL "make people feel it is okay to cyber bully?" (I hate bullying of any kind by the way, and I don't tolerate it)

Did you even read all the questions I asked? I don't think so. If you did, you didn't answer a single one.

What gives you the right to judge me?

And now that you have, how will you judge me when I am finally diagnosed? Everything all better then?

You answer as if you never considered any of the points I asked you to think about.

So now we're resorting to name calling. Now I am dumb?

What on earth man?

I've researched this for TEN years. There is NO question I have it. But because no one, including you, takes me seriously, then fine. I'm getting that diagnosis.

And when I come back here with it, then what? All of a sudden I'm "cool?"

Did EITHER of you REALLY think about ANYTHING I asked up there? Did you even READ it?

I don't think name-calling an action is name-calling a person, i.e. self-diagnosing = dumb, a self-diagnoser /=/ dumb necessarily.

I know not all self diagnosers use it as an excuse and in fact I have never seen it, I've only heard about it. But I do think they have made it look like a fad and trendy, it makes it look like it's fake.

Sure there are aspies who are jerks but they admit they are one, not because they have AS so I don't see that as them using it as an excuse.

Then there are real aspies out there who are jerks and use it as an excuse to be one.

Actually, the only people I've ever seen use it as an excuse are officially diagnosed. Self-diagnosed people tend to be ultra-careful not to use it as an excuse--to the point of denying themselves most social opportunities. Maybe that's how they flew under the radar to begin with.

Funny how the subject of "Whether a self diagnosis could be valid or not,' quickly turns into one about "Using AS as an excuse for certain behaviors."

I don't mean funny "ha-ha," I mean it's interesting. Because they are related.

This is another thing I don't get. Some of the same people who are claiming that all self diagnosis is fake, are the same people complaining of AS being used as an excuse for their behavior.

Yet, IMHO, claiming that self-DX'ing can be nothing BUT fake, seems to me to be using AS as an excuse to be judgmental.

And not one of you has answered the one MOST imortant question I asked:

How will your view change if I come back with a DX at some point?

I'm not sure why that's such a hard question to answer. Unless you've already decided there's no way it'll ever happen so it's a forgone conclusion and a "moot point?"

I have to disagree with you on that point. When the action is one that the person you're addressing has taken, it is name calling. Pure and simple.

If I throw a snowball through a window, breaking the window, and you say, "That was dumb!" you are calling me dumb, and probably rightly so. When the action named is one the addressed person has taken is called "dumb," it's as good as calling the person dumb.

No. That would be judging someone's entire life based on one singular action. Throwing a snowball at a window is a dumb move. You're not a dumb person unless you throw snowballs at windows all the time (or similar action).

I have to tell you, I'm amazed at how quickly a few of you jumped in to justify your positions.

But I'm even more amazed that not one bothered to answer any of the most pertinent questions I asked. It's as if none of you REALLY read, much less CONSIDERED anything I asked you to.

And that was the FIRST line in the post!

"These are some important thoughts I really hope some of you think (I mean really think!) about."

Your answers sure make it appear as if you didn't really think about it at all!

There's good and bad, in everyone.

I don't really care for the self diagnosed. I just don't take them as seriously unless it's obvious they have it.

When you get a DX, you don't have to worry about people being against the self diagnosed or saying they are all fakes because you be a real aspie and you wouldn't have to worry about it. Even if you didn't quite meet the criteria but yet was still on the spectrum, you still have nothing to worry about. I would know you are actually on the spectrum, even if it's PDD-NOS or AS even if you had a speech delay but still got diagnosed with AS anyway.