Growing our of your symptoms

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Recently I took another aspie test and got a very low score.
Apparently I've grown to adapt more to neurotypical ways and I've acquired more social skills from being around people more.
The only things are that I find myself stil being uncomfortable or awkward around some people, usually very outgoing people.
Now the thing is, I'm afraid of losing my asperger's, because it's the one main thing people have recognized me for. It explained why I did the things I did and thought the way I did. So when I grow out of it, then it's like now what am I?
I still stim and have little stereotypies and sometimes say things without thinking, but other than that I've become relatively normal, which isn't something I'm too proud of being.

For those who have grown out of their symptoms like me, how did you cope? Like were you relieved that you've become more normal or did you feel you've lost yourself as well?

just because you learned the "song and dance" of the NTs, doesn't mean you have to use it if you dont feel like it
I can blend in with NTs when I must, but Im just not happy when I do. So yes, i do feel like i lose myself when I behave NT; its quite miserable.

I was originally "diagnosed" by self-assessment as an introvert, many years before I discovered that it was actually AS. I railed against the idea and set out to prove it wrong, and was quite successful. By accident I'd fallen in with a set of cool people who didn't judge me, and that made a big difference.

I've never accepted that I have to be a social failure. These days I still have a good circle of friends, though there was a dip in my social interaction for over a decade. I've had to learn a lot of tips and tricks.....the best one I've found is to keep away from anybody who's too mainstream, judgemental or competitive for me - the great thing about that trick is that all I had to do was to change the other people rather than changing myself. For some reason, as long as I feel I'm among friends, I calm down and cope........I'm a different person when I'm trying to deal with "straights" - much more nervous and quirky.

I've learned to let go of a lot of my rigid thinking and to see things as varying shades of grey. I've learned to avoid expecting plans to be perfectly adhered to. My speaking voice is more animated and I know a lot of social "grooming talk." I've got used to using one-liners instead of talking people's back legs off.

But I still get bad relationship problems. It's hard to know how much of that is because of the way I am, and how much of it is just down to me getting involved with women who aren't quite right for me.

If you "grow out of your symptoms," you're an autistic who has learned to mesh well with NT society and cover the indicators of your autism.

No one really "grows out of" autism. The brain of the autistic person has different structures. Learning to behave "normally" doesn't change the brain structure or insert new genetic material into the deletions on the DNA that autistic people have. It just means you're an autistic person who'se learned to behave "normally."

No worries; you will never lose your asperger's, no matter how well you learn to mesh with the rest of the world.

I've been pretending to be normal, for many years, until I've finally started living on my own. I've faked normal in elementary school, high school, college and working at that factory that's now on the brink of closing down. After two years of rebellion, I'm just being myself and doing my own thing. Making my band shirts, dressing like The Kinks did in the 60s, doing all the things I wanted to do, but couldn't when I was living with my parents. Being the man woman child, that I will always be, and that's a good thing.

I tried really hard all my life to fake normal but was never able to pull it off properly. Once I was diagnosed and began to realize why I couldn't be like the others, no matter how hard I tried, I gave myself permission to give up and just try to be the best me I am able to be.

This is what worries me about the push to "heal" my son's Asperger symptoms. We love him the way he is, but we also want to help make his experience in the world less stressful. He is four and was just diagnosed. I think that OT, PT, and Speech therapy will be very helpful. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Thanks so much.

You've learned how to blend into NT society, which can be useful but somewhat annoying b/c of having to hide your true nature. If that;s the way your life goes, you've just gotta deal with it.

It is possible for people on the spectrum to learn to adapt to an NT society, I have done so myself. I felt my teenage years were my hardest so far in terms of fitting in, and I'm sure that's the case for a number of others. I wanted to be like the popular girls, but most of the popular girls I knew were bitchy and spiteful and they were like that because of insecurities and competition, and I realised I didn't want to be like them at all. I think being content within yourself is important. If you learn to like yourself, the rest will follow.

Sometimes my dad made the claim that he grew out of the real problems with his ADHD, and I followed a similar profile--but I would say what REALLY happened is we a) developed coping skills and b) got into better environments (being able to change classes, getting jobs that allowed us variety and movement, and weren't too strict on how we got our stuff done and when). So that cut down stress and let us flourish...but I really think we're still just as ADHD as ever, and always will be.

As to my geekiness...sadly I've just had to learn how to hide that except in company where that's acceptable. I'm not an Aspie but I TOTALLY get the special interests thing...and learning how to do idle chit-chat when I don't want to, or when it is and isn't appropriate to go into detail on my special interests is important. But I don't think my essential nature will ever change--when I get into something I go DEEP.

I always thought I'd grow out of my problems. Never happened.

Some of my sensitivities aren't as bad: light, sound, problems with clothing. I have to have some lights turned off, that doesn't bother anyone else, but it isn't as harsh as it used to be. My tolerance level for sound is higher now. That was really annoying, since most people I know turned music up too loud in vehicles. I can wear more clothes now with little trouble. I used to have a hard time finding any pants I liked, or socks that weren't annoying.

Everything else that I was born with is still a problem. Right now though, I question if the problem is due to Asperger's Syndrome or not. Meaning, if I actually do have AS (I'm diagnosed but still question it), then is the problem because of that, or perhaps a problem born out of past experiences? If not those two, then what is it? Lack of confidence?

I suspect that if I ever get better with people, that it will just create new difficulties, like with most peoples experiences. Most people with AS say that socializing for them is tiring. By socializing, I mean "fitting in" and not just being themselves. I always get a sick annoying feeling after having to do social interactions with unfamiliar people, and that is with just being myself.

We can all learn to adapt change to fit in, many of us have had no choice... but often long term if not our natural selves, can I feel be damaging. As our traits always stay with us and in fact as I get older they are stronger than ever, because far to exhausting to pretend any more, we are who we are and should be.

That's the issue with me. The only issues I have are a few sensory issues regarding loud noises, and trouble understanding some of the social cues, but I have overcome most of the rest of my AS symptoms.

The diagnosis is made based on your worst traits, which happen to be learnable skills. It's pretty common to "grow out of" your ASD, even though your brain is wired the same. You learn to patch up your weaknesses, or to compensate with your strengths. You gain the maturity, the endurance, the perspective, the tricks, so that where you would've had a meltdown as a child, you can tell yourself "one more minute, one more minute," you can run to a safe place, you can try to remember something good. Since my conversion, I can pray, which sometimes helps. And since gaining some distance from myself (I feel pretty disconnected sometimes, but it doesn't usually keep me from enjoying myself so I don't worry), I can remember that having a meltdown is a bad idea and there are better things to do (doesn't always help very much, but at least I can sometimes formulate a plan).

I actually had success with one of my mom's many crackpot treatments, which (for a lot of time and money) temporarily reduced my auditory issues (for a couple of years). During the window that gave me, sensory-induced meltdowns became less frequent and better targets for study, allowing me to gain the maturity to deal effectively with my issues when they came back full-force.

Meanwhile, I've been learning the social skills that most people just know.

You can get good at anything. I'm still waiting to meet the Aspie whose special interest is people and who has learned everything about them and about interpersonal interaction. In the meantime, just remember: you're not "wired" to drive a car or type on a computer, but you can get so good at those that they become second nature. Doesn't make you a new breed of human with a brain specially designed for it.

I learned to well to be what I never was, long term caused me damage, yes we are all human and we all learn in life, but we also need to remember we are neurologically wired differently often and have different strengths and weaknesses and yes we should use our strengths and work on our weaknesses like everyone does, and as everyone we are unique, but difference being we are not the main stream "norm" as such and never will be, but what's wrong with that, I let those that do not want to allow me as me, be their problem!

I think the issue is stressful? Idk?
I mean I guess it would help him if he knew how to fit in at a younger age, but then in fitting in I've realized that you have to hide yourself to adapt with other people, so idk if he would like that. Because I didn't do that when I was little, I would go of and do my own thing and in doing so I discovered my talents (writing, drawing, film, etc) I would be myself even if that bothered people, who would then bother me because I bothered them, even though I didn't know what I was doing wrong. So it's a difficult choice, either he fits in and doesn't know who he is, or he doesn't fit in and people bully him. People will bully him anyway since most people suck at knowing how to deal with eccentric people, and vice versa. But the best thing is probably just to let him decide, as long as he isn't miserable because of his interactions with other people.