The allure of the messianc complex

Post Reply New Topic

I have come to terms with an aspect of myself - my mind loves messianic complexes. I'm not sure if this is an autistic thing or what, but it seems to run in my father's side of the family since he's a crazy conspiracy nut. I find the idea of me being some sort of messiah to be so irresistable, regarless of whether or not it makes sense. I look at the world around me, see pain and carnage, and can't help but think "Wouldn't it be nice if some guy just came out nowhere and fixed all this? Wouldn't it be the best thing ever if that guy was ME?" When I was a kid I had BIG drems of being a scientist and since I have almost no math skills left I feel all other chances to be something really big, somethig of which the world hath never seen, to be quite seductive, even the chances that make no sense. I thought I could improve technology. I thought I could end disease. I want something equally big.

Does anyone else feel even remotely this way?

"It's hard to think with a head full of rain. They have nailed me to the cross oak and when I walk I drag it behind me. I am the electric messiah, the descender. Locked away in this dark room, in this dark century. They have maimed and imprisoned their divine king. Is it any wonder the world sickens and dies?"
-Maxie Zeus (my favorite character) from Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
I have been quite like Maxie Zeus at several foolish points in my life - when I gave into temptation and embraced messianc maddness.

Yeah, sort of. I don't see myself as messiah, but I spend enough time wondering how exactly one would go about fixing the world given divine power. It's a harder game than it sounds if you want to retain any shred of good morality. ^^

I'm the offspring of a crazy hypochondriac conspiracy nut and an intelligent, kind-hearted woman who - at least it seems that way to me - pitied him. How does it feel to have parents like that? Not very good. If I've inherited my mother's intelligence and my fathers craziness I might be able to be a more successful crazy person than he ever could hope to be. At least that's the thought that manages to creep into my mind every so often.

Gathering a cult about oneself requires mad social skills.

If only that weren't true ... or is it true? Does it depend on the person you gather? Oh man I'm feeling the maddness flowing through me right now.

I think I understand where you are coming from. No, I really do!

I was conceived and born when my parents were living in a ministry center (place where people live together and love god A LOT). While I was still in the womb; my parent and others in the ministry used to sit around in a circle holding hands and all pray I would be a prophet. My parents basically named me Jesus too. Joshua and Jesus are the same name in roman I heard.

My mother told me about this when I was in my late twenties.

One name.

Hitler.

'Nuff said.

Well, maybe I ought to say just a little more. I don't mean the above to reflect on the OP. I've felt the same way off and on during my life too, and have heard it from one of my own sons. I don't think it's that unusual. History seems to show though, that when one person actually manages to gain enough influence to affect change, the outcome has usually not been that great for many of us.

Don't worry about it. I know you aren't comparing me to Hitler - that would be crazy, even for me.

It was crazy for Hitler!

Sometimes I wonder of I'm going to end up on permanant disability payment dispite looking phisically fine like my father. That scares and worries me. I've been putting off getting a second job or getting post-secondary education for a while now, even though Mother keeps reminding me. It just terrifies me so much moving forward, dealing with new people. People scare me so much. People are cold, cruel monsters. It also terrifies me to think I am becoming my father in all this. I want to be better than that ignorant, stupid, manipulative fool - at least ten times better. I can't just push shopping carts my whole life.

My mother did all the work. My father was so cruel to her. That's why she left him when I was around six. I don't know why she says she feels guilty about the diviorce. I don't know why she gets mad at me when I rightfully call my father an insane idiot. Now I am stuck with an evil, nit-picking, sadistic sister who treats my mother and I like garbage and my stepfather's son is a jackass who has always been so insensitive towards me. My stepbrother and his friends always have so much fun together and do stuff I never get to do because I don't have that many friends. I bet my sister and stepbrother are working together against me because I'm the autistic one.

"I understand what my memory tried to keep from me. Madness is born in the blood. It is my birthright. My inheritance. My destiny."
-Amedeus Arkham

True.

I do want to effect change for the better, somehow. Global scale...probably not gonna happen.

For the people I care about the most, and maybe even a few strangers along the way? Definitely.

Perhaps that's what "think globally, act locally" really means.

Well now, don't forget, you are already better off than your father because you are your mother's son too. I wouldn't worry about being crazy, you seem perfectly sane and quite adorable to me. I can say this cause I am a grandmother with grandchildren older than you are. You sound like a very sweet and sensitive person, and what's wrong with wanting to save the world? I'll bet your step brother and mean sister don't think about being able to do that. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's probably a lot more common than we know, because most people wouldn't admit to it. But then, we're Aspies and we tend to tell it like it is and deal with the consequences later. And there will be consequences if we share certain information of that nature with the wrong people.

Now, to answer your question, yes, I find the "allure" (love the way you worded your thread title) of the messianic complex very intriguing and have since I was a little kid. I remember wanting all the suffering to go away, not my own, but the suffering of the world. I had many conversations with God about all this suffering and gave him/her my own ideas on how these terrible conditions could be remedied. Yes, I was so young and innocent that I felt completely free to have a heart to heart with God as if he were a trusted playmate. My main bit of advice, actually, it was a good bit more than a bit was to ask, or suggest, that the best way to solve the problems of the world would be to forgive the devil for being so rude and arrogant and rebellious, and let him out of hell and maybe give him a promotion and a new title, like Vice President or something. I figured that everything was fine and dandy with the world til God kicked Lucifer out of Heaven - and then all hell broke loose. I could see no sense in that move. After all, what did the devil do that was so bad? Insubordination? Jealously? Pride? Pfffft!

I could go on and on, but I won't.

I like the way you think.

I'm so happy now *sniff*


How much like me that is. I hope I'm sharing this with the right people here. I don't reveal any names for a good reason. On some level I think what I am saying needs to be said for the sake of my mental health.

Quoting Conundrum:

c'est réciproque


Quoting DarthMetaKnight:

Messianic complex is a symptom of some kind of schizophreniform disorder.

It's unhealthy.

Don't buy into paranoid conspiracy theories and don't overvalue yourself. Don't let yourself think you are being watched, or have come into the world to redeem man from his manifold sins.

That is totally bonkers; you do not want to be thinking things like that.

Focus instead on the things you have in common with others and learn to love all human beings as equals.