am I?

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I turned 28 this week.
I have always been different. I have always had social problems, in that I'm not social and don't (always) see it as a problem. I've often felt like I was trapped inside some invisible bubble, sometimes I construct the bubble myself.
I have few friends and have trouble reaching out to people. By some miracle I have a wonderful husband, we will celebrate our 1st anniversary next month. Sometimes I feel sorry for him and wonder why he didn't want someone normal.
It's always been in the back of my mind, ever since I heard of Asperger's and Autism before that. There are so many characteristics I have....I loathe making eye contact, when people watch me I want to tear my skin off. Sometimes I can't stop talking. With some people I can't start. People tell me I make faces at them. I have no idea what they're talking about! It makes me so angry when stranges tell me what I'm feeling because they saw my eyebrows do something. I've always had an active fantasy life, I used to get very involved with the books I read as a child. Now I knit obsessively. I can knit all day and not leave my house. Make that all week.
But I'm not sure it's really Asperger's. I was isolated a lot as a child, almost neglected. I also have a pretty high IQ. So I've always told myself, "Maybe it was just my childhood. Maybe I'm nuerotypical but I'm just weird. Maybe I'm just antisocial because I'm a geek."
That's what my family would say. If I told anyone I know/love about this they'd say "no way." My parents, my husband...they would never believe that a person with Asperger's could make it out in the world. I graduated college this year. I dropped in and out more times that I can count, but I did it. I've always held a job, but I always have problems with my coworkersno matter how nice they are.
The more I learn about Asperger's, the more of an affinity I feel with those who have it. But I'm afraid if I tell my loved ones, they'll think I'm blowing my different-ness out of proportion, they'll tell me that my lack of social skills is just about being too smart for my own good and having had a bad childhood. And maybe they'd be right.

Identify people who will support you during a process of whatever "self-discovery" needs to happen. I don't know who this will be for you. It may be someone "official" like a physician, therapist, or psychiatrist, or it may be someone else.

Remember that it is an autism *spectrum* and that each person is slightly different even if the overall symptom profile is similar. My best advice to you is for you to journal an autobiography of sorts. Use that as your foundation, not only for yourself, but for anyone who may evaluate you.

I started by reading first-person narratives written by people on the autism spectrum. Also, I liked Tony Attwood's second book...what it is called?...The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.

Now I'm exploring movies with autistic characters or plotlines. Some are good...some are bad...I had to learn to tell the diference.

The older you get, the harder it is, perhaps, to find someone qualified to evaluate you. If you want to be formally evaluated, you need to start now researching your geographic location to know who that might be. Realize there may be a waiting list. Also, evaluate the financial picture....your insurance and then what you will pay out of pocket.

You are new to Wrong Planet (so am I really) but I'm impressed with the forums here so visit often and try to learn as you go.

Add another vote to taking your own time to learn from the experts. Everyone is going to doubt because that's just how social "normality" is... they will be basing what they say on stereotypes unless they are a truly supportive friend who knows you and your everyday behavior pretty well.

There are layers under the surface of the social struggles we experience daily that will fascinate you.

Lastly, thanks for being here and sharing with the community! I recently joined as well.

Hey. So I may not have awesome advice to give like the guys before me, but I can give you my support. I know how you feel. I'm not sure if I'm Aspergers but it just fits so well, and I've got all these people pointing out my constant weirdness.
My family and friends tell me I have no eye-contact, no empathy, and I'm always in my own world. They tell me all this social deficits are simply due to my shyness that's been shadowing my entire life. I read an Aspergers article and something clicked. So I guess what you don't need is somebody's sob story.
But what I'm saying is, yeah, maybe I have no support from my family. And yeah, so I have a real connection with all the aspie stories I've read, yet I'm afraid everything's going to blow up in my face.
But I'm glad I told somebody of my suspicions because wondering in painful silence is worse. I'm getting somewhere, at least.
Your problems are real to you, no matter what anyone else thinks. You're not alone though. Besides, aspies are pretty smart! Take care