I'm losing freedom because of others.

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I am generally a fairly private person and I don't like people to try and help me with things but I'm being told that I must get used to people caring about me and asking how I'm getting on.

I care about other people and help them if they need it but I don't want to be helped myself because it means you have less freedom and you have an informal commitment to the other person then. If you have a commitment to someone your less free.

I want to do what I like with my life now. Sure I can update people about what's going on but I don't want anybody to interfere without me wanting that. Other people hold me back from living the life I want and my future goals.


has anyone else had this problem and if so, what did you, do you do about it?

I am the same way, I don't like to be helped unless it's a help that I teally can't do without.

And yes, the more you interact unnecessarily with ppl the more you lose your freedoms. NTs pretend that if u cooperate with them they'll help you out later in your time of need, all subliminal innuendo of course. But it's a lie. When you NEED real help in times of crisis is precisely when they'll drop you like a hot potato.

So I say f##k them, and go your own way. As much as you can. Be independent and free

Oh, and as for advice on "what to do",
best thing is just to purposefully ignore them, even make it obvious and show/have no guilt/shame about it.

I don't recommend outright rejecting or confronting ppl, b/c ironically this is mother natire's way of strengthening interaction (sometimes dangerously so) , which pulls you back into the bucket of crabs you're trying to get out of.

Around aggressive and violent ppl the ignore tactic will cause them to act oppositional, even violently to you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Almost killed me actually, but I'm still alive by some miracle. In the ghetto nothing short of full submission and cooperation will give you temporary respite from the violence of others. Notice "temporary". Seems unrelenting malice and violence is the only "birthright " we have left on this planet.

Do your best,
Polite non-interaction is the easiest path,
I'll be rootin' for you

It's your choice of course, but I think people generally (self included) feel something is wrong if the caring thing isn't a reciprocated. When I'm close to somebody, if they put themselves last and won't tell me what they would like, it bothers me, it makes me feel guilty and I get scared that I might lose them.

But if you really don't believe you have any need of other people's help, I guess there's not much you can do. I don't know anybody like that though. Of course if you're a very private person, you won't be close to anybody, so maybe they're just upset because they want closeness and you don't.

ppl start with asking about your life, wtf
do i have to lay the results at your feet before we're equal ?
I refuse these ppl lately
listened, listened to everyone & everything to find out no one will ever do that in return
and now you want to oversee the results of my life ?
go do something to yourself I don't want to know about

I can relate to this. I have a problem accepting help from people that have an obligation to such as a mental health worker or other police man as 9 times out of 10 they're false and doing their job. Although I have had one really nice CPN that was always there when I needed and he even helped decorate the house in his spare time one weekend.

The last support worker I saw though just felt like I was feeding her ego to a certain extent. She seemed really superficial and, even though she didn't do anything wrong, she didn't do anything right either. I felt like I was there just to provide her with a job and she was OK with that because I was inferior to her in her mind.

One of my neighbours, just a few doors down died after a house fire this week. I didn't know him but anyway a police community officer called around asking routine questions and I couldn't help but notice he was lurking a little too long. Making small talk with my Mam about general crap that bares no resemblance to anything . No doubt he saw me as a vulnerable adult and felt he should hang around and make himself big as per training. I even left a half eaten lunch on the table to avoid talking to him yet he still insists on tormenting me .