Wtf?

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I found these two books in my house:





My parents bought them and never told me they had it. Why couldn't they have asked instead of going behind my back to get a "professional's" advice on who I am.

Oh dear. When my parents and I found out I had AS, they gave me the books and my parents internet linnks at the same time. I think your parents should have shared these books with you, they can prove to be quite interesting.

I stole them and they are mine now.

I am going to read both.

if you are fortunate you will only find aspects of yourself in those books.

What does that mean?

Those books only have examples of people. Everyone is different. I have read several, and I can relate to some parts and not others. I imagine the advice is like that too. Stuff that works for some and not for others. It is hit and miss on everything so keep an open mind.

Yeah but you get the general idea with such books.

I bought the books and told (or force) my parents to read it.

You have good parents Ferdianad! They care about you and want to know how to help you.

"Survival guide?" Yeah, Aspies die if they don't come with their instruction manuals...

Thank goodness I learned how to photosynthesis with that book!

When my mom found out I was on the autistic spectrum she bought a BUNCH of books without telling me (I don't live with her, but visit every week). Didn't bother me at all, I was actually pleasantly surprised that she was so interested. In fact, she dove in head first and didn't come up for air for the longest time, and almost appeared to be.... like me, an Aspie focused on a special interest (she's not, but the resemblance was funny to me). Meanwhile, my dad's interest was fleeting, and he wasn't interested in reading any books about autism, but he did email me a couple of articles. When I found my mom's books I borrowed a few of them, so that was fun. Now we are all well informed about autism... me, because I have it and have educated myself about it (and read this forum), my mom, because she's read every autism book printed, and my dad, because he's forced to live with my mom. Nice!

As others have said, it's probably a good thing she's showing interest, but make sure she dosen't do what my mum did and act like she knows what it's like to have AS just because she's read books.

My mum once tried to tell me she knew better than me what's it's like to have my condition because she's read lots of books about it. If she says something like that again, I'mma tell her, "alright, so if I were to read books about pregnancy and parenthood, I'd know exactly what it's like to go through, yeah?"

I am an adult, but my parent still refuse to even think about the fact that my dad, me, and my son have Asperger's. My parents wouldn't read a book about it, and they sure won't listen to me enough to go get one. They think they know me well, but they don't have a clue, because so much of what goes on with me is internal, not shown on my face or acted out. My parents blamed my different-ness and weirdness on me being a boy. I think it is awesome that parents would care enough to even want to know about it and try to help in some way, because mine are still condescending and manipulative (because they are messed up) and not because of AS. I've had to change my email and soon my phone number because they won't stop treating me like crap in general, not to mention AS. Communicating with your aspie is very important, so maybe your parents should have talked to you more, I'm sure. I just wish mine would listen at all.

I think AS is becoming more of a hot topic and a lot of doctor types are writing books on it, trying to sell them as part of a personal cash cow, which I think only sorta helps aspies and doesn't at the same time. There is nothing like experiencing life as an aspie. For years I felt like I was different, messed up, strange, and now I know why. I have sensory issues, but since my parents couldn't give a flying rat's tail to pay attention to their 8 children (2-4 of which have mental health issues they still don't acknowledge or understand), I didn't know that light isn't supposed to hurt, clothes and seams and anything else that touches skin shouldn't rub you raw and irritate you all day everyday. I can't wear a watch, and I hate jeans because they feel hard and rough, but I don't know what else to wear. I thought this was normal, but how would I know?

I guess my point is that I don't know how I would get my parents to even accept the fact that this is something real, happening, and that I need and needed their help growing up.

I dunno. Personally, I've been reading as much as I can on the subject, since my daughter was DXd. One reason is for validation, another is curiosity. It's like having a light bulb come on when you've lived in darkness so long. I've had a lot of aha moments. I find reading books about personal experiences to be more enlightening than the clinical variety.

izmyaspieshowin wrote: "For years I felt like I was different, messed up, strange, and now I know why. I have sensory issues, but since my parents couldn't give a flying rat's tail to pay attention to their 8 children (2-4 of which have mental health issues they still don't acknowledge or understand), I didn't know that light isn't supposed to hurt, clothes and seams and anything else that touches skin shouldn't rub you raw and irritate you all day everyday. I can't wear a watch, and I hate jeans because they feel hard and rough, but I don't know what else to wear. I thought this was normal, but how would I know?"

izmyaspieshowin, I have experienced similar things!

i meant that you will find some answers, some heightened insights as to what makes you the person you are. or, you may find out what you are not.

That's annoying.

I've observed that sometimes priests (who are celebate) can know more about marriage than married folks, because they aren't looking at one particular marriage.

And similar may be true for Asperger's. Someone who's read and observed a lot may understand Asperger's in general more than someone with it, who sees it from the perspective of their own individual version.

BUT... your condition is your individual version. No one can know more about it than you. They may have insights to share, yes. But they can't know your particular condition better than you.