Confident People

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Does anyone else feel really self-conscious around really social, confident NT people? I tend to freeze up and have no idea what to do or say. It's especially bad when a group of confident males get together and start bantering, I calm up and feel really inferior

Certainly I do, And I'd say it's quite a common feeling not that will be much comfort.

I am alright with one or two people and find it easier with women - but only if I know them well first. But most often big groups split in two groups of two or 3 and I'm left on my own. I've given up going out with the work folk at Christmas etc. And As I don't have a car or like sports I just nothing to banter about

I will either be very quiet or go on the offensive and take every opportunity to correct them on something incorrect they've said. That way they either ignore me, or I knock them down a peg and they stop being as talkative.

However, I avoid those situations as much as possible, as I dislike being around a lot of other people, especially having to converse with them.

It is usually a case of mutual ignore.

oh yes

Of the few friends that I made in high school, nearly all of them have been of the confident outgoing type who try to get along with everyone.

However despite their social graces, they were of the kind that tend to get ostracized for other reasons (fat, ugly, poor) and therefore tended to be more sympathetic to others.

yeah, it happens to me all the time.
another thing i've noticed is that self-assured people are instantly able to recognize my current mood and social anxiety and their expression immediately changes from happy to one of concern or even contempt.

Yes, it's really destroying when you're out with mates and they're all bouncing around having a laugh and you're trying to formulate wit in your head in order to stay socially afloat; when I do finally manage to put something together they're all like "yeah..." and that's when I die inside

Much of this sounds familiar. Over time, though - I go okay with certain confidents UNTIL they figure out they cannot control my actions / point of view. I am too independent, frank, they realise I am NOT a disciple / follower, and I may shift to perceived enemy.

But the outgoing that get along with everybosdy, as stated - I am usually okay with them - thet do not get me but they don;t really care.

And with seniority and knowing what I knosw and they don't, the abashed withdrawal is less needed.

Sure, and I'm a very confident person myself, I still don't know what to say to NT people. Mostly I don't want to hurt their fragile little egos, though. Don't be fooled by the appearances. I found that most "normal" people do not have a lot of self-confidence. Being in a group or having a sense of belonging make them feel stronger and braver. It is likely those cool dudes you see joking around hardly have any more confidence than you have. You're not actually inferior.

Loud, confident people tend to be my Kryptonite too. Well, people in general might as well be Kryptonite to me, but confident ones with Big Personalities always bring out the worst of my social anxiety - even if they're genuinely nice people. My experience has been that the very confident and upbeat sorts have the least comprehension of what it means to be shy, and so are much more likely to single me out and give me a hard time for being different.

I find I have the most difficulty with those who are super NT, and by that I mean, not outgoing, not shy, but insecure enough that they get weird if you don't act in a way they themselves would feel comfortable acting. These are generally the people who can't stand any "flavor" in their lives. I call them clinically NT because if you think about, they're very set in their NT ways and get upset if anything distrupts that.

But very confident outgoing people, no, because they are generally too confident to care if you're a bit unusual. In fact, a very outgoing person can be an easy friend for someone with AS because they will reach out to you more and take the guess work out of a lot of things.

Mostly yes- it's very intimidating. But Some confident people are good at making you feel at ease. Especially when they talk so much that a few nods 'mhm's and 'really?'s are sufficient from you . Sometimes talking to someone like that can actually make me feel normal for a change. It all depends on the person