The Aspergerese Dictionary

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Let's create and Aspergerese dictionary. Need your participation. Here are my first three entries:

Metaphor: A device used to explain just about anything, provided that the metaphor is used is elaborate more detailed than that which is being explained.

Acquaintances: People with whom one never talks and avoids in public. Online chatting is permitted on occasion. (See "Strangers")

Calendar: Necessary item used to record all important days, birthdays, appointments, who must be called, tasks to complete, tasks completed, how often tasks must be done, health stats, etc... The best calendar is very large.

Douchberg- a hebrew douchebag

okay thats

Friends.- People who are usually confusing, unless you share interests with them, and with whom you are unsure about what to do or what to expect as well as confused about what they expect from you, IF you have them. Mainly, a memory from the past, and something that people expect you to define in a way unknown to you.

People.- Confusing beings whom you seem to never understand, and who you sometimes strike out at, specially when they tell you that they don't get you, or when they tell you to look at the whole picture, and you have no idea about what they may mean, or expect. Specially if you don't know what to expect from them.

iPod/walkman/mp3/music reproductor.- One of your best allies in muffling out the noise, specially when going out.

Employer: somebody who takes great pity on you during an interview because you don't sprout outrageous falsehoods like all the other candidates did.

Girlfriend: someone who really wants to love you but can't help feeling repelled by your lack of proper masculine behaviour.

That's not what I was going for.

Fibbing: the act of telling lies that are considered to be insignificant even if they aren't; may be used to bring into question a person's moral character for social leverage (note: never point out when a person is fibbing, always be appreciative when someone points out that you're fibbing)

Rambling - a valuable necessity used to bring ones thought processes to their logical conclusions; (see also: tangent)

I read your three initial definitions and they do not seem much different than dictionary.com or Wikipedia. How do your definitions have an Aspergian skew?

Frontal lobe overclocking: an umbrella term for the exhausting mental effort required to not be a spiteful dick in most social situations. Worth the effort.

Alcove: A remote location, real or imagined, where you feel at peace with yourself.

Dance club: oh please God no

I have the question of, is this an attempt at a joke NT Aspie dictionary or a real one ? The entry on acquaintance is rather silly and unhelpful. I would suggest that an acquaintance is a person who you know, you are on good terms with this person but they are not your friend. An example of an acquaintance for many people would be your university tutor. The two of you know each other in the university setting, have a working relationship (you go to his/her office once every 14 days in term time for a lesson with 9 other students) but you do not socalise together.

Since being here I have come to the conclusion that it is best to think before you post, around here many people take things in a literal manner so if I use an euphemism it will confuse some people. I know some serious guides have been written to try to help the aspie live in the NT world. I would respectfully suggest that the joke guides to the world are clearly marked as joke guides, and are moved into the humor forum. The coping with life and general autism discussion forums should be for serious material not jokes.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Socialising - Completely pointless and confusing pastime that has no valuable aim

Routine - A highly addictive set of actions