How do you REALLY know?

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What do you think REALLY seperates an Aspie from an introverted ADHDer with a lot of AS traits? The severity of the traits? I don't know if this is true , considering the traits are often less pronounced in women. I don't know if I'll ever really KNOW if I'm an Aspie or not. I'm not even really sure that I would believe it if I got the diagnosis.

Is it the obsessive nature? The tendency to want to stay inside of one's own mind? I have almost all of the traits to some degree but I'm able to control them well. I can appear to be a socially graceful if I HAVE to, and in the past I've actually gotten a lot of pleasure from socializing but I was usually medicated. As I've gotten older I have no real desire to socialize with people, without being on some kind of medication I've always had to force myself to. I don't think I've ever felt truly connected to anyone, but people have felt connected to me. This doesn't mean I don't care about people, I just know that I'm missing something.

All of the traits I have could really go either way. I am obsessive, ritualistic, locked inside my own mind most of the time, clumsy/awkward, have trouble with eye contact some of the time, and I've never really felt like a HUMAN. When i tell people this they assume I'm depressed but that's not the reason. I just know I'm different. People tell me that I'm different, some of them mean it in a good way and some of them probably don't .I can turn my emotions off very easily but I;m not a sociopath. I like the idea of having friends but actually maintaining relationships is VERY difficult for me.

I've always been told that my brain is like a computer and people don't understand why I retain such obscure information....so many Aspie traits, but how do I KNOW? I will analyze this to death and possibly never accept it.

How does anyone know? What do you guys think? If I am so borderline(and when I say this I just mean that I'm able to APPEAR normal when I need to, I am not normal on my own time by any stretch of the imagination) is it even worth trying to determine?

ADHD is a common comorbid of AS. Its not unusual to have both, with a touch of OCD thrown in for good measure.

Perhaps instead of a Syndrome, it should be called Asperger Suite.

There are two things involved in figuring out a diagnosis.

First, you've got to make sure there's a reason to diagnose anything at all. You have to have some significant problem in your daily life, one that you can't solve on your own or with the usual resources available to someone in your society.

Second, you've got to figure out which set of symptoms are causing the most trouble, and then put a name on them. There's the option of diagnosing one thing or the other, or diagnosing both; but none of those should be done if there isn't that "significant impairment"--i.e., the problem that you can't solve on your own, and need help with.

So, really, what separates the two? If you have traits of both, not all that much. Whether a dual diagnosis would make sense depends on whether you want assistance/therapy/accommodations that are needed by people with Asperger's, or whether you can get those things just with ADHD.

Lots of ADHD people have Asperger's traits, and vice versa. (I'm autistic with ADHD traits, but the ADHD can't be diagnosed because the autism takes precedence!--for all practical purposes, I am both.) They're very closely related; and a lot of the things that help one group also help the other. If what you're getting is helping you, why worry about it? On the other hand, if you're just getting help for ADHD and you need something other than that, then yes, pursue it.

People with ADHD understand social cues and body language. They have hyperactivity and disorganized thoughts/ easily distracted (to put it simply). They can also have some sensory issues. If they are have social issues and or social/general anxiety than they may want to be re evaluated for Asperger's.

I don't get help for anything. I shouldn't say thta, really because I'm on Section 8 and I get my rent paid, an am unemployed but I don't get any kind of other services.

IDK. I feel like I probably am an Aspie and that's be nice to know but I just don't know if I'd ever believe it. If I did find out that I was it'd be something I'd think about all the time. I've always wondered what's different about me anyway, I've never thought that I was like most other ADHDers but I just don't know what I would REALLY do if I got the label. I'd have to tell my family and everything, I guess. I know I sound shallow but I just don't know if I could handle people seeing me as autistic. I've never cared about being different, but people look at autism as a disability. I do NOT want to be considered disabled.

Last edited by MotownDangerPants on 29 Jun 2010, 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yea. I was diagnosed with ADHD and more recently GAD. I have a lot of social anxiety but I'm able to play it off, this is what makes me somewhat doubtful. I do miss some social cues but I think it's due to being inattentive...although there are some things I just don't pick up on period.

Uhh... If you can't work, you're already disabled. That's not a bad thing; it's just a neutral fact. It's nothing to be scared of, though I'll admit it takes some getting used to.

If you're at home and not getting job training because you're afraid of being labeled "disabled"... well, there's a bit of a logical error there, isn't there? You're more disabled by being afraid of asking for help than you ever will be by an actual disability.

At this point, I am also "borderline"--most people don't even realize that I have AS. One professor guessed it because someone in his family is an Aspie, but when I told my doctor he flat-out didn't believe it was true. I have learned how to "APPEAR normal" also, over many years, with a lot of help.

It was "worth" finding out for me (via a self-diagnosis) because having a name for "it" has helped me immensely. I have always felt "different" too, and while most of the time I enjoy that, it's still nice to know that I'm not the "only one" experiencing these things.

Besides the self-diagnosis, I just know it's true. I don't have to "prove" anything, nor do I need a formal diagnosis for insurance purposes, etc. Knowing is just for my own sake.

I don't know if that answers your question or not. Have you ever taken a self-diagnostic test?

Here's the one I used: http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/

It doesn't really "prove" anything, but I'm not so sure formal diagnoses do, either. The autism spectrum is still not well-understood.

What Callista and Willard said made a lot of sense, too. Ask yourself: "why would it be worth it TO ME to find out?"

Yep. I got a 147 on the Aspie test and all the other tests suggest I'm an Aspie. I pretty much know too, really. I just don't if I want the label or not.

I'm not working because I'm lazy. I know I could still benefit from the help but it's really not something I need. I've held jobs in the past, and I've already been labeled ad disabled in the past because of the ADHD. I just don't know if I want to continue being involved with all of it. I could get SSI at the very least, though.

In that case, just don't talk about it with too many people. You won't be "labeled" by others if they don't know.

However, if you mean self-labeling...well, you don't have to do that, either. Having AS is not the sum total of who and what you are. It is just part of who and what you are.

From the movie "Dogma":



Think of yourself as "someone who has Asperger's syndrome" rather than "an Aspie" if it helps.

There is considerable overlap between ASD's and ADHD, as there is for a lot of other developmental/psychological disorders. Psychologists are still arguing over what exactly the distinctions should be. (They are well clearly defined in the DSM, for now, but there are many people in the field who disagree with some of the distinctions).

Motown, I've said this before and I'll post it here in your thread too.


if you have traits, you have traits.

there isn't a functional difference for you if you don't experience one or two because every person is different.
even if you don't meet a clinically significant manifestation of the traits, you still benefit by seeing a big picture you'd be naturally prone to completely miss.



how I really KNEW? It wasn't a simple moment. It began with a moment of inquisition, which unfolded into a process of information gathering.

I was tired of getting different opinions and vague diagnostic criteria, so I read the complete guide to aspeger's syndrome.

I don't think there is any other way of REALLY knowing, till you hold yourself up for comparison, and let it sit for a bit as you continue to go about your life.

I am distrustful of others and especially psychiatric professionals whom I've been subjected to my entire life starting when one of my parents died.

I knew when I first set out that the only way I would be able to know was by learning and critically thinking about my own behavior.

Asking myself the hard questions--- WHY do I refuse to go up an aisle in the grocery if someone else is idle there looking at something on a shelf?
WHY do I not feel it when someone I love is crying and sad? WHY do I just sit there not speaking again if someone I was on the phone with at work disengages to talk to someone on the other end, until they re-acknowledge my existence? Why can't I look at people and use gestures while speaking to them? Why is anger the only everyday emotion I encounter? Why do I talk so fast? Why do people constantly respond to me with "can you please speak louder?"

I think you just know deep down, the same way you know you are gay or a man/woman.

That said, I don't feel comfortable telling anyone I have AS until I get a proper diagnosis.

I put this in a another thread.
Here are some cognitive tests that are also used in diagnosing AS.
They show how your brain processes information.
http://beingnearlyhuman.blogspot.com/20 ... r-way.html

How do you REALLY know?

When I found this place and others almost five years ago, I knew there were too many circumstantial coincidences. I dove in to anything and everything about aspergers, took every questionnaire possible and failed drastically, at being an NT. 2 years later, after being formally diagnosed things became real. It was not by any means a quick thing for me. The sessions with the quack went on for a Very Long time. After I was official, the doubts were removed and the clarity of the reality I had been missing for so long became OK with me. Deep inside I kinda knew, but now I Know.