Anyone know of a good "guide to sympathetic listening&q

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Hi. Does anyone know of a good website that provides a guide to effective listening?

As in, I have the sympathy, but I can't express it. I know the basics of saying things like mmm, or reflecting what the person is saying, but then I run out of things to say or feel like I am saying the same thing over and over.

Then I revert back to my old trick of telling the person everything I know on the subject they are talking about, like the illness they are experiencing, or workplace stress or their car broke down. It's silly because it just makes the other person angry with me. In some way I wonder if this is my way of trying to calm the person down, by being logical about the subject and trying to take the emotion out of it? This works when I am super stressed, but doesn't work on NT people.

Can anyone help me?

I think that your first approach is exactly right. Saying mmm and nodding to show that you hear what the person says is good. I also find that I don't know what to say in similar situations, but people still talk to me about their problems and they seem to find me a good listener. I just don't give advice. I just keep quiet and let them say all that they need to say to get whatever it is off their chest.

Other people I know can add a bit of input. Like I met someone the other day who told me that her mother had cancer. She just needed someone to talk to about it. I couldn't think of anything to say, but the person who was with me said things like "when did you find out?" and "how is your Dad coping?" I would never have thought to say things like that.

People are rarely looking for advice in this kind of situation, they really just need to tell you about what's happening. Sometimes just being there for them is all that you need to do.