Being a good parent

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I would like to have children someday. I am 29.

I am worried though, that even given my age, I am still immature in some ways and may never be able to care for a child properly even though I feel I would like to have a child I don't handle a crisis well, I am susceptible to stress, I have a fear of the doctor etc etc. I would however, make sure it was fed and clothed and look after it when it gets hurt. Gosh, it sounds like I am getting a puppy.....

How am I ever going to be a good parent with this stuff hanging over my head? When the child has hassles at school, I won't know what advice to give it, social stuff completely eludes me and dealing with things like tantrums and bad behavior feel to me that they would really get on my nerves and I would expect logical behavior from a 2 year old. I can't stand naughty children but to me it seems if you raise them right you won't have those sorts of problems.

Is there a way to help with my difficulties, or is it just a case of management of each thing I know causes difficulty, such as learn techniques to manage my fear of the doctor.

Or, am I really not suited to being a parent and should give up on the idea now and go do something else.

i hate to tell you this but, thats a decision only you can make, we can give you advice, but its really about you. I too would like to have a child, but i know i couldnt handle the responsibilty, that and some studies indicate that 95% of children born to autistic men, will develop autism, i would not want my child to go through what i did.

I have to put my own desires aside and consider the big picture.

I always told myself I would never have a child in case they were like me. That changed as I got older and time was running out. It isnt the same as looking after other peoples kids or nieces and nephews and it will turn your world upside down. If you dont like your routine being disrupted, not having time to pursue your interests, lack of sleep, change, noise and everything else that goes with parenthood you won't like it. Then there's being invited to kids birthday parties and having to meet other mums.

Being a Mum is torture for me but nothing would put me off and it won't put you off if it's what you really want.

A lot depends on who the child is.

On the cynical side, I doubt you would be worse than some parents I know - you would be less likely to be oblivious.

On the positive side, so often we get strength and insight out of the blue to cope with what needs doing.

For us - it was great.