The autism social rule book.

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I have heard more then once that people with an ASD wish there was some kind of social rule book where we could go to for advice about a confusing social situation.

The problem has always been that we can't possibly think of every scenario where social confusion may arise.
But if we pull our collective knowledge together maybe we can make an ever evolving book of social rules that we can each add to and refer back to in times of need.

It wont cover everything but over time if we all add to it, it will become very helpful. Maybe Alex can eventually publish it and list the people of WP as the authors.

How to use this thread.

This is only for listing social rules.

Please number the rules so it is easier to refer back to them when needed. Example, if you post after me number your rule "Rule # 2."

Don't comment on the rules listed please. This will help the thread stay uncluttered and make it easier for people to access the social rules listed below.

You can rate advice helpful or unhelpful in the poll i have provided.

Anyone can add a social rule.

You can post as many rules as you can think of.

If a mod could make this a sticky that would be great! thanks!

Rule # 1

You should only remind a person of something twice a day . If they dont do it after that then there may be something else more important going on. Example, they may be having a personal crisis or they are to stressed to do it.

You may not see that but you should try not to bug them about your issue because there may be something more important going on that you aren't aware of.

That's very helpful advice. Thank you for posting it.

2. Look people in the eye, but not in a fixed manner. Look away once in a while as they feel uncomfortable if you stare.

Ask people questions about themselves when you talk to them. It makes them feel like you are interested in their lives.

3. How are you isn't literal, you are suppose to say "fine" then "How are you?" back.

I'm still learning this one

4. If someone asks if you like their new haircut--ALWAYS compliment it.

5. If someone ask you what you did over the weekend, and in honest, you stayed at home and enjoyed your special interest alone all weekend... DON'T tell them. Lye and say you hung out with friends.

6. If questions are being posted to a group of people you are in; don't answer EVERY question... even if you know all the answers.

7. If someone fully turns away from you (with their entire body), then stop talking to them. They've moved on. (learned this one today, actually!)

8. If you hear one of your friends lie or embellish the truth to impress a guy/girl; don't point it out in from of said guy/girl.

9. Try to smile and make eye contact as much as possible (not in a creepy way)

Displaying the fruit provocatively is not an invitation to squeeze it.

11. If someone asks you if they look fat in a particular outfit, always say, 'No, you look great!'... even if they do look fat.

Depends on the situation...sometimes (usually at work), joking that you were "lazy" on the weekend can work. But it depends on the situation.

12. During a movie, you should keep your comments to yourself, and wait until after the film to share your thoughts.

Oh dear, I still do badly at this. Egged on by my dad, who also has ADHD, and whenever the family gets together for a movie, we manage to drive my mom (very NT) absolutely NUTS.