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MrXxx
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13 Jul 2010, 8:21 pm

...may cause you to doubt your AS:

Anyone here, who has lived long enough to learn a few serious adaptation skills ever doubt your Autism because of these learned skills?

For example, I can remember first becoming aware of sarcasm, and being so fascinated by it, I began to practice it, badly at first, but have become good enough at it that here on this forum that some users have had to ask me if I'm being sarcastic when I thought it was obvious. I don't have this problem on most other forums.

Also Theory of Mind is something I also remember becoming fascinated with before I had ever heard of it termed as "Theory of Mind." I remember teaching myself to try and imagine what other people's motives might be, and why they might speak of things in ways that seemed foreign to me. I even taught myself to look for motivation behind web sites before assessing information on the site. For example, is the site's primary goal to make money, and how (through advertising, or selling something), or are their signs of any particular political agenda on the site that might reveal a bias in articles on the site? I've had a tendency to do this with OP's here on this site too, checking profiles to see how old the poster is, and whether they are male or female, or anything else, like a blog or something that might give me a clue as to their leanings, beliefs and paradigms.

Sometimes this makes me kind of doubt my AS, but not for long. An NT user here, I forget who, recently posted a reply to me about Theory of Mind, describing it as a "breaking point," and I think I understood what he meant by it. I wonder if anyone that has not been through the "breaking point" would get what he meant. I think he meant that it's something through which, if we can break through it (by coming to understand it, and apply the principles), it can be like a whole other world opening up to us. I know when I began to understand the concept of others having thoughts totally unlike my own, it was just like that.

But I also remember another user (again, I apologize for not remembering you), explaining that the way Aspies deal with Theory of Mind is by building a kind of "database" of informational resources from which we can draw in order to exercise Theory of Mind, and appear as though we "get it" almost as well as NT's do, but that it's a process, and doesn't come intuitively to us.

I was just wondering if anyone else here on in years, who has learned adaptation skills like this have ever doubted their own AS because of this. Does it ever feel as if you've become "too good" at some things to possibly have AS? Do you have to remind yourself that you had to learn these things that come naturally to most other people?

I do. I have to remind myself now and again that twenty years ago I was completely inept at these things, and the learning curve was steep. Also, I sometimes have to remember I'm not REALLY that good at them at all. Not like my NT peers anyway. I still have to go through a series of processes to do what they do in these areas. And they can do it without even thinking about it.


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conundrum
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13 Jul 2010, 8:29 pm

I've been learning to adapt my entire life, thanks to my mom's help.

On one online AS test my score was right in the middle. I'm pretty sure that's a result of this learning.

I can act fine in public (most of the time) so most people don't even realize it. However, the effort can get tiring after a while. That's what usually reminds me that it's true--I can pass for NT, but not effortlessly.


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DandelionFireworks
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13 Jul 2010, 9:15 pm

Not really. Only when other people point out that I look normal, when I didn't know how I looked and wasn't aware that my pathetic efforts were more than moderately successful. I guess it helps that I've always thought of it as a cognitive style rather than a disability, so when I can do something in my own way, I don't think I've been cured, I think I've grown and learned and am succeeding just like anyone else.


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AspieWolf
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13 Jul 2010, 9:21 pm

Yes, what you describe seems to fit me pretty well also. It took me years to learn to mimic NT behaviors and I still need to remind myself how to behave in social situations. Most people have no idea that I am a hard core AS type. However, I still have occasional meltdowns, but I am able to keep them private. Not an easy thing to do! I never have any doubts as to my being an AS person though. I am just able to fool almost everyone. Most people just think that I am a bit of a "character", or rather eccentric.


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MrXxx
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13 Jul 2010, 9:21 pm

DandelionFireworks wrote:
cognitive style


:chin: I like that! :D


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DemonAbyss10
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13 Jul 2010, 10:57 pm

At times I sometimes think I am NT, but deep down know that I am not.

Diagnosed from the age of 8 with ADHD, then AS during 5th-6th grade (woulda been somewhere tween 10 - 11 years old if my math is right :/)
It was a long, difficult road to progress to the functional level I am at now. Had to learn to observe people more and such. Even now I still screw up quite often.

And yea I have gone through the sarcasm stage as well. It was a very interesting life experience to say the least.


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