What are typical vs. bad conversations/diversions

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Peko
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12 Jul 2010, 8:32 pm

What are good vs. bad conversations when it comes to grandparents? Mine like to bring up stuff I don't want to talk about and I'm terrible at diverting conversation...


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Aspie1
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12 Jul 2010, 11:57 pm

Try talking about history and/or what life was like when they were young. Ask them questions about that. Not many young people do that nowadays, so when you do it, your grandparents will feel flattered and enjoy sharing their experiences. (While people sometimes lose memory as they age, it's usually the short-term memory; long-term memory stays intact, so you'll be surprised by what they remember.) Now, you may not find everything they tell you interesting, but be patient and at least try to look interested, and maybe you might end up hearing something that'll make you go "oh, wow!". If one of them fought in a war or somehow helped the war effort, ask about that. (Hey, there are fewer and fewer World War II veterans left each year, so you should feel lucky you still get to hear first-hand accounts.)



DandelionFireworks
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13 Jul 2010, 2:25 am

Yeah, my grandpa told war stories.

My grandma has a special interest, so I try not to fall asleep when she volunteers information about that.

I've been reading about smallpox, so I asked grandma about it, because she was growing up back when it was still around.

Sometimes I talk about my writing. I keep it at a rather superficial level and encourage attempts to relate it to something interesting to her or something she's knowledgeable about.

You might talk about your friends, if you have friends and if you've had a brief, easy-to-describe funny incident involving them, recently (last week or two, or last day or two if you see them more often), which doesn't require a lot of specialized knowledge.


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Gotholympians
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13 Jul 2010, 2:38 am

Wow, these are helpful tips. I mean, I knew on some level that old people want to talk about their pasts, but... I dunno. Diverting the conversation that way always seems so... awkward? I just worry they can tell I'm not really that interested. Can't everyone?



Aspie1
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13 Jul 2010, 7:28 am

Gotholympians wrote:
Wow, these are helpful tips. I mean, I knew on some level that old people want to talk about their pasts, but... I dunno. Diverting the conversation that way always seems so... awkward? I just worry they can tell I'm not really that interested. Can't everyone?

Most old people are very forgiving of breaking NT unwritten rules (except having bad manners), so the awkwardness is not much of an issue here. So let's say they ask you about school, and you don't want to talk about it, turn the question back on them: "so what was school like when you went to school?" Then listen to the story, or at least look like you're listening.



Peko
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13 Jul 2010, 10:46 am

These are great ideas, especially the asking about the "old times" stuff! The only problem with the friends one is my g-mom always asks personal questions about at least one of my college friends (b/c ironically they know his relatives) and the last topics they brought up were my dad & how they feel bad for kids in single parent homes 8O (we're better off w/o the dad/long story & we have 2 moms...) & I got a bit upset & blurted out something cause my one friend is alone... on top of this I got to hear about underwear issues...


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Balance is needed within the universe, can be demonstrated in most/all concepts/things. Black/White, Good/Evil, etc.
All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.