Flirting

Post Reply New Topic

I’m 33yo and I’ve never recognized flirting. There are a few times that I found out afterwards that someone was flirting with me (the person or someone else told me), but I’ve never been able to tell. How can you tell when someone is flirting with you?

I'm 55 and still can't pick up on it. We would be out and my wife will say something like "she was flirting with you" and I'll look dumbfounded and not have a clue nor picked up on it.

She use to think I was playing dumb but now with the diagnosis she understand I really don't have a clue. Now she tells me jokingly "watch if you talk to anyone, I don't need anyone hitting on you and you being clueless"

I often have trouble with this too. And the whole "If she smiles at you, you should go talk to her because that means she's flirting, EXCEPT NOT NECESSARILY!" thing, etc... sometimes I almost wonder if most people are psychic and I'm not.

Can sometimes tell if they pay lots of compliments and look at me intentily hanging on my every word

But that's rare usually I've no idea

The only time I ever noticed flirting was online. Gods honest truth due to the emoticons. Most of the time in person I thought they were just being funny so I laughed well that was more so when they would say a line. With the older customers I have that try to it disgusts me but other than that I could never tell if a guy wanted me or not so I always ended up being the one to ask them out. Now that I have been with someone so long theres no need to flirt so its more so just being cute.

I have learned to recognize it at least some of the time. I can't explain it, but I notice that there is frequently a change in the quality of a woman's smile when she's flirting with me - I can't describe it, it just looks different than a normal everyday social smile.

I also pick up on it when someone expresses a (seemingly) genuine interest in an topic they know is of interest to me, but that most people would not care to hear about.
For instance, when a clerk at a store I frequent initiates a conversation about comic book art that's obviously too in-depth to last only the length of the counter transaction, I feel pretty confident that's not just work banter, but an attempt to connect on a more personal level.

On the other hand, I've had female friends who's everyday conversation was laced with sexual innuendo, lots of big smiles and winky looks and they were that way with everybody - it meant nothing.

I'm not good at picking up what is flirting from guys and what isn't. I've misread the signals before with abysmal results.

I think that's the problem. You just can't ever know for sure. Maybe someone is just being nice. Maybe they act that way with everyone. Maybe they have no interest and are just messing with you.

Once upon a time and woman at work asked me to escort her to a Christmas party. At the party, she suggested getting a room at the hotel. She was in a relationship at the time... had two kids... and a good 8 or so years older than me. I assumed she was joking. A couple weeks later she became less subtle and told me "I've been having dreams about you." I replied with "um, what kind of dreams." And then she gave me the details and her intentions were very clear from that point on. Other than the room suggestion, the only thing I notices was her blinking allot sometimes.

So far, the things I know to look for are:

1. Looking you up and down.
2. Increased blinking.
3. Touching you.

Smiling and saying your name may just be the person being polite.

What are some of the other things that would indicate flirting?

I have learned to recognize flirting. I still prefer the direct approach. "You look sexy and I want to have a relationship with you". I don't have to sit there and try to figure out what the person wants from me, and I can give a very plain and direct answer back.

I've also recently learned that many times people think I'm flirting with them when I'm really just talking. This is especially true if I look at their mouth while talking or make a sexual joke.

Extra blinking? That's so weird. I don't think I do that, I'll pay attention next time. And see, I think of looking someone up and down as being aggressive rather than flirty. See, it's so subjective. Sometimes not looking at a guy can mean a girl likes him, but is shy.

What indicates a guy is flirting? My husband said if they're talking to you at all, about anything, it's because they want to sleep with you. Do you guys agree?

My friends when I was younger said there was at least three times they witnessed women trying to pick me up but I was totaly oblivious to the whole thing. They said I have to be one of the dumbest things someone with my above average IQ has ever done.

It can be but not always. I've had female friends who I'd talk to about things but lack any romantic interest in.

OT: I tend to oblivious towards it unless it's very direct. Too hard and I tend to run in the opposite direction.

I think your husband isn't giving men enough credit. lol

I thought about writing a song about flirting (long before I got married). It was going to be called "Hit Me Over the Head With a Two-by-four!"

Haven't written it yet....

lol, yes, that was sort of our conversation.

See, guys don't seem to flirt. I'm soooo confused....