Typical Workplace Misunderstanding

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Today my co-worker and I had a misunderstanding. After apologizing sincerely I asked him how bad I was when I “talked back to him” because I felt horrible about it. I freaked out and questioned his asking me to do something because I was tired and I thought he was trying to mock me on purpose when he probably wasn't (Asked me to do something I already knew I had to do). The fact is that I had been up for 24 hours not of my choosing. I woke up at 4am today because my sleep schedule is all messed up due to the fact that I work night shifts and day shifts during a given week. Not having a fixed schedule has caused me to have worse melt downs and sensory overload at work but I do my best to hide it for the most part. This time however I could not hide it because my boss asked me to come into work on my day off. Now I do get some kind of counseling for my AS and that’s why I had the day off. The appointment for 2pm. So I was technically supposed to be back home by 4 pm and my intent was to sleep after that. Anyway my boss wanted me to come into work for 7pm to 4am which means I had to be awake for at least 24hours give or take. Now I tried to refuse my boss but I was the only person who could come in for a sick co-worker and my boss said he’d pay me extra. I don’t like to disappoint my boss because he is the first employer to show Torrance towards my AS. This allows me to keep my job, and stops me from getting clinically depressed. Unfortunately today I had to endure a general misunderstanding. I usually book the day off for my appointments because I tend to get emotional after them and the circumstances were just not right for me today. So anyway I asked my Co-worker how bad I was because I was hoping he’d reassure me that everything was OK between us, but he didn't pick up on that and sort of lectured me instead. This made me feel even worse, and over all I had a bad day. So when I got home I started to think about quitting my job because I think about that stuff when I get depressed. I hate misunderstandings because I think that people hate me when they might not and I hate letting people down. The reason I took the shift was because I didn't want to let my boss down, even though I knew it’d be too hard for me. That misjudgment on my part led to me letting my co-worker down so I started to feel like I didn't even deserve having that job because I feel I am a burden with my disabilities. Anyone else experience misunderstandings like this at work? Comments are good too, it's nice to get input from other people because I have trouble understanding things sometimes.

I think maybe your coworker is not as upset as he shows. You asked him if you were that bad, and of course now he saw that he got a chance to take a little revenge, so he gave you some lectures. Probably it is not common for him that someone says sorry. At least this is what I see behind the story. I don't think quitting the job solves anything in this case, because you'll always find difficulties in any workplace. Perhaps your next job would be even worse. If there are more than 1 workers at a workplace, necessarily there will always be conflicts.

I've had many such conflicts in the last decade since I'm having a job, sometimes I said sorry afterward, even if logically thinking I have not done anything bad. But if I said sorry, usually other folks got that "seeing red", and instead of simply forgiving me, they started to teach me just like your coworker did. Now I try not to say sorry anymore, and things seem to work smoother ever since.

Take it easy.

(I hope you get what I wanted to say, sorry for my English.)

Things always seem worse when you've not had enough sleep, so remember that when you're thinking about quitting your job. Getting some good rest will let you find some more perspective on this. After all, misunderstandings are common and even more understandable when you've not had much sleep and are standing in for someone else.

Maybe your co-worker wasn't so much giving you a lecture as taking the time honestly to answer the question you asked. After all, you did ask about what you did that wasn't right, so it was probably more caring of them to tell you than simply to take the easy way out and reassure you.

Try and get some sleep.