Family Problems Due to Diagnosis

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I am a 20 year old second year Computer Science student and got diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.
My father accepted it and encourages my interest (computing).
On the other hand my mother seems to be struggling.
Her first comment when I handed her the documentation was "You dont have aspergers you just have crap hand-writing".
Later I told her I have a meeting (they said it was a "de-breifing meeting to arrange help") she told me it was a lot of rubbish.
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The official report I got said Aspergers with 38 of 42 symptoms, as well as all factors pointing to being aspie.
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What should I do to get her to accept it?
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I dont want difficulties between em and my family... because my girlfreind has taken it much better and actually tries to avoid tones e.t.c to help me understand and make it easier for me.
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Ask any needed questions but also understand this is very difficult for me as I have always struggled with the aspergers.

Never again mention it. Just do what you must and let your mother decide for herself.

Yeah but its pretty hurtfull that every time I "show aspie traits" she falls out with me and says I'm pretending... even though all my life I cant help it, and to be honest I'm glad I'm not NT.
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I enjoy the insights I see e.t.c , but also see no point in chatting to NT's except from my gf 90% of the time, maybe I would be best hanging around here to chat to people who udnerstand me?

Yeah, it's pretty bad. She basically taking the Protestant work ethic that if only you 'tried harder,' and that's just a load of crap.

Okay, try and give your Mom space without questioning whether she should need space. She needs space, just give it to her.

If she brings it up, maybe something of the sort: 'Mom, I have many good traits. I am different in some regards. Different doesn't mean worse, and it doesn't mean better, it just means different'


PS I like my AS mind, too!

And by all means, please do, hang out with us here. We can use your insights. And welcome to our group!

Welcome. My mother had trouble with it when I got a more-or-less official AS diagnosis at age six. She refused to believe it. No one told me it had ever been said until I was in my teens. If I had found out earlier, I might not have grown up feeling like I was a freak and there was no one else like me. She tells me now that no one explained the spectrum to her. No one told her that I could live a worthwhile and productive life. All she had was the image of an autistic person in an institution rocking in a corner. If she is willing to learn more, your mother may come to accept that AS just means certain aspects of who you are, that you have a name for it now but nothing has really changed.

You can only take the horse to water, as in provide leaflets or a decent book. If your father is accepting, then leave them to him for whenever she is ready.

There is a model of the 5 stages of grief (e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model) that is just as applicable to diagnosis - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance. You might see signs of her thinking processes moving through stages similar to these.

Some people will never accept. For them you just get some printed record of the diagnosis, enlarge it, frame it, and hang it with your diplomas.

Tell her the psychologists said it was either genetically occurring Autism or a classic case of 'refrigerator mother' - but the tests prove conclusively that it had to be one or the other.

Honestly I don't know. No offense but I find people such as your mother illogical and I've yet to figure out how to deal with them.

Perhaps have the clinician speak to her.

Good question. My husband basically told me I was faking it the other day. When you find the solution, please share.

He's discouraged me every step of the way and now that I'm almost positive I have AS he is discouraging me from seeking an official diagnosis.

Of course, in his case accepting it about me would mean having to accept it about himself. That's not something he's ready to do.

I have a friend who's mother is also like this. She actually gets really angry if he mentions his Aspergers to her. I think it stems from fear of what she thinks Aspergers is and mama-bear protection of her baby. She loves him too much to allow anyone to suggest he might somehow be damaged, even if that anyone is him.

She is now starting to soften a bit but still has a way to go before she will accept it. This softening has come about through a very gentle drip, drip of info on what Asperger's is, over several years. And always reinforcing the idea that Asperger's means the brain works in a different way, rather than the brain doesn't work right. The way he has found to do this drip feed it to say "People with Asperger's find xxxx difficult" rather than "I find xxxxx difficult".

well I am lucky that my partner was interested in savant's e.t.c so understood it all and supported me, also my best freind has aspergers after some near-death experiences.
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if anyone wants to pm me their msn I wud be glad to chat

Okay, I guess we can cut her some slack in this way. Afterall, not so bad to be a mama bear, and in time, she can learn how to channel and direct this.