Quote:
Of course, I am reluctant to get a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, as it would mean that I cannot experience something to the level that other normal people can.
No, it would mean having a label for something that's already there. Getting a diagnosis changes absolutely nothing.
But you don't need one if you're correct in saying that you are simply an introvert with autistic traits, with social skills functional but on the low end. Diagnosis is for people who need professional help, accommodations at work or at school, etc. Not necessary for people who just want to do some self-improvement.
Practice helps, in comfortable environments.
I studied psychology, sociology, and anthropology to help myself learn (and also because I was interested, of course).
It's sooo important to realize that there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Your style is probably to understand yourself very well, and to have small numbers of close friend. That's a valid interaction style. Don't force yourself to be a social butterfly if it's not your nature.
OK:
1. Been done harm by therapists?
Yes. Several times. I've been misdiagnosed, overmedicated, and been called a rebellious child with the implication that I was causing the abuse that happened to me when I was a kid (I had a bastard of a stepfather who hadn't any business being around kids). On the other hand, I've had some really level-headed therapists who have been able to help me learn things that I would have taken much longer to learn without their help, and a couple of psychiatrists who didn't want to pile on the drugs and actually listened to my input.
2. What is "normal"?
The middle of the Bell curve. Statistically, within two standard deviations of average. But, since there are thousands of dimensions along which people can be measured, very few (if any) people are normal along all of them. Autistic people tend to be "abnormal" (outside those two standard deviations) along more dimensions than most people. The human race is defined by diversity; in fact, diversity and flexibility is our greatest strength. Autistics are more diverse than most humans; and that makes us useful--the statistical outliers who can think in ways and do things in ways that most people don't. Usually it's a disability; sometimes it's just the thing the human race needed.
3. How do you forgive yourself?
I'm human; I suck at some things and I don't think sometimes and I do lots of things that I regret later on. You can't sit around regretting them; you have to just fix whatever went wrong and go on. I've gotten used to embarrassing myself over the years. It only has to happen so often before you just figure it's going to happen often enough and you'd better learn to either ignore it or laugh at yourself or something, otherwise you'll sit and feel uselessly sorry for yourself. If you apologize and work to make things right after you mess up, and make a note of the mistake so you can take steps to stop it from happening again, there's really no reason to feel guilty about it. You can only be responsible for what you're actually capable of doing--not for what a theoretical perfect-you can do.
20 Jul 2010, 2:53 am
