The not-quite-human look

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This is a look I get from people when I know I've said something weird. It's a mixture of worry, awkwardness and embarrassment as far as I can deduce. I got this in a big way from my family tonight.
Bit of the backstory for context - I failed a few elements at university, and thus have to go back to re-do the subjects. When I got accepted into the program, I quit my former job. That was five months ago and have been without income since that time. Unfortunately, the university withdraws all financial aid and accomodation on campus for repeating students, so I face the problem of having no money and being homeless in a strange town. I wouldn't be particularly bothered - I eat very little and don't require much to survive, but it's winter, down to ten degrees below zero and I'd suffer without shelter. I also need electricity for study - light, computer, etc and enough money for fuelling the car.
I was considering this aloud when I looked up and found my family giving me "that look."
They found it incomprehensible that I would think they would allow me to be without resources in that way - what they called "on your own."
I didn't understand. Why someone else should expend their resources on me when it's entirely my own affair with no obvious gain for themselves didn't make any sense. I'm of an entirely appropriate age to be "on my own." If I'm incapable of supporting myself, I consider that my problem. They're poor people, and up to their eyeballs in debt. Plus I didn't think they liked me very much. Why they would pay for my accommodation, or why they assumed I would allow that, escapes me.
People, maybe NTs and maybe not, seem to expect others to treat them kindly. Especially within a family grouping, or so I've observed. I don't have that expectation, and wondered if it was an aspie thing to consider purely the logistical elements of the issue, overlooking the apparent emotional components.
I've got that look from people a lot recently though - seems to indicate that I've really put my foot in it, demonstrating that I don't understand something that seems automatic instinct for rest of the human race.
Anyone understand this? Got this look from others around you, like you're not quite human?

I get that look, very often and I think I have this unique appearance, that triggers that response, from people. I'm built a little more like a Neanderthal, than a Homo Sapien. I also have the slightly larger head, and almost a primitive look to my profile. It rolls off my, like water off my back. Those people can think what they want, about me. I'm not going to put the Thought Police on them.

Actually, you just have a nice family. I know plenty of families that pretty much tossed their kids out when they turned 18. I even know one that wouldn't help their valedictorian child pay for college, even though they had the money. Which I think is horrible, I might add.

You know my family, Rynessa? LOL

I say count your blessings. I'm doing college while out on the street like you and my family couldn't care less.

They give you that look because they care about you and they cant comprehend why you are willing to suffer homelessness when they can help you. There is more to homelessness than just being without a home, there is a social stigma that comes with it that makes it very hard to find a job, there are people who mug, rob, rape, and kill people without much notice from police. If you dont want to feel like a leach in your parents home, then you can do things around the house to barter for a home to live in like a skills bank. But there is alot of crime in the homeless areas and you are at risk because you could miss a subtle coded cue used alot by these folks and get physically hurt or worse. Your parents are probably aware of the dangers and think that someone like you on the streets would be a tasty treat for some social canabal.
Maya Angelo says in one her poems that crawling into the streets is like crawling into the @$$ end of a lion.

Becides you can go to Vocational Rehab which is under the dept. of Labor in most states, and they can give you employment skills and social skills training while helping you find a job and funding your college tuition. You are eligible if you have a disability. If you have not been diagnosed they can pay for testing too. Dont submit to failure because of AS, there are resources out there.
Explain to the rehab councilor that you were willing be homeless to continue going to school. That will help them understand your devotion to your future.

The social - logical background for the idea of giving money to support your offspring most likely stems from the idea that a profitable (read: to this society, diplomas [etc] mean profitable) offspring can better provide support when the parent will require it during old age. Using their resources (banking arrangements based on property of some sort must be assumed since you indicated they are not well off) to assist you is an investment in their financial and care future.

Also, there is a stigma in society today if your child has not attained a marked position in the financial world. They likely see your intelligence and ability and are willing to bet on you succeeding and thus improving their stature there too.

They might not think of it all in this detail - may not even be conciously aware of this - but I'm aware of all these ideas because my father has often explained to me that I have failed him in this regard.

I don't use them very often, but I have two responses for that look:

Don't look at me like that. You don't know me that well.

or...

Watch it. If you look at me like that, you'll catch it.

Families have this thing where, even if they don't like each other, they feel a social responsibility to stick up for each other. So, they might find you odd, but they won't let you go homeless because if they did, they'd feel like they'd betrayed their family.

Ah. See, I can understand that. If someone explained it to me categorically like that, I'd see the point. It just seemed to be this automatic thing with my family - that they had to support me just because we're genetically connected. Some link I was missing somewhat. I highly suspect it's some status thing, too - my mother is constantly complaining that I refuse to make myself look "attractive," because she wants to be able to tell people I am. Incomprehensible.



That must be an example of the emotional connection I'm missing. I'd be willing to bet they never examined why they respond in this manner - they just do it on autopilot.



I'm not particularly ungrateful - I'm not really anything but nonplussed. I do dislike being in debt to anyone though, even my family, in case it's used against me later on. I take care of myself. Do you feel like your family should care that you're completing college whilst on the street? Do you have an expectation for them to cover you, and are upset when they don't? I don't seem to have that - I don't expect people to be anything other than either indifferent or cruel to me, as that's been my primary experience. It confuses me why anyone would care about my business or what happens to me.

Your family loves you. My family's the same way. I'm sure that they'd still have me living with them, if I didn't decide to move out, when I did.