My friend's cousin doesn't remember me

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TheDoctor82
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26 Jul 2010, 2:24 pm

She used to know me considerably well back when I lived in NJ, and even added me on Facebook some time ago.

I posted a comment to her status recently, and she said she didn't even know me; so I removed her.

For some reason....it feels abandoning; it not only makes me wonder how well she knew me...but how much my friend really appreciated me even back then.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this point, and probably just need a few hours to still wake up and let it sink in...



Poppycocteau
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26 Jul 2010, 2:35 pm

:( I'm sorry - that's sad. I can imagine I'd be quite upset too. Maybe she would remember you if you met her face to face - not that that really helps, but sometimes people can be hard to recognise on Facebook. To be fair, though, she sounds a bit dippy - I mean, she added you . . . not the other way around!


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Janissy
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26 Jul 2010, 3:26 pm

Based on post anecdotes and my daughter's "why don't you remember?" questions, it seems that people on the autism spectrum have a stronger episodic memory than people not on it. Episodic memories get hazier faster or get filed differently or something. There are several people on Facebook that I didn't remember or they didn't remember me and frequently it required posted photos and anecdotes for the memories to resurface. My point is, her memory loss doesn't mean that you made no impression on her at the time. It merely means that NT episodic memory fades into haze more than AS episodic memory. I have said, "I just don't remember" to my daughter many times.

I am not surprised that she added you even though she didn't remember you. I've done the same with people I didn't remember. If she's anything like me (at least in regards to her hazy episodic memory) she was probably figuring that the memories of you would eventually resurface after she saw enough photos or read enough "remember that time" anecdotes. That's the way it works for me.



richardbenson
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26 Jul 2010, 7:51 pm

my cousins are all grown up, and so are my brothers and sisters. if they dont remember me i understand. besides i have a pretend brother that drops in and remembers me.
oh we chat for hours