Self-centredness and being pedantic - what do they mean?

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Does self-centredness mean one is selfish? If not, what does it mean? If someone is self-centred and yet not selfish, is it still a flaw? If so, why? How does one stop being self-centered?

I don't really know why being pedantic is seen as such a bad personality trait. To me, it is all about unpicking words and definitions, being precise and saying exactly what you mean - this is when people say I'm being pedantic. If, however, this is a flaw - and it could be, because I'm often wrong and it often annoys the people around me - could someone please explain?

I am no sure why it annoys people. My husband seems to get frustrated with me when I correct his words and he goes "That's not how I think okay." On Yahoo Answers someone accused me of being rude and she said "Excuse me for not being accurate with the dates."

I have a friend who is not selfish but is self centered.

He is not selfish because he has no problem lending things to others, giving things to others, or taking the time to do things for others, and he would not put his petty needs above the more dire needs of a friend, however, he is self centered, because he is far more preoccupied with his own problems and gives little thought to the problems of others.

For example, he will go on for hours about his own problems or happenings in his life, but if another person mentions one of their problems to him, he will give a quick "sorry" and then turn the topic of conversation back to himself.

It is all about him and his experience and he really only considers others through how it affects him. When he buys people gifts, which is rare, his entire focus is on the attention he anticipates this gift will earn him. Yes, he wants to do a nice thing for the person and he wants the person to be happy, but his excitement of the anticipated response overshadows his ability to observe and perceive the emotions of the other person and as long as they express some vague positive response he has fulfilled himself.

In contrast, my sister, who is very self-less, may buy her husband new shoes because she observed he needed new shoes and acted only as a result of her ability to be receptive to his needs, without any anticipation of a reward.

A selfish person is generally someone who is selfish in a material sense, and also puts their own needs first even when they are aware of the hardship this might cause others.

The British magazine Private Eye introduced a column for readers to submit corrections and comments about the accuracy of its stories. There was a discussion (amongst the early contributors) about whether it should correctly be called Pedants Corner, Pedants' Corner or Pedant's Corner, plus all the variations without capitalisation. They settled with Pedantry corner.

Some might argue (falsely, in most cases) that they had achieved many useful things during the months that the pedants were discussing this seemingly minor technicality. But there is an optimum balance where proceeding is more important than finalizing all the details in the plan, and some pedants get trapped in unproductive perfectionism.

(I don't know how perfectionism and executive dysfunction interact, but they are both useful concepts in AS).

I never understood why it was so wrong to be pendantic. My parents found it cute to hear their eight year old taking like a sterotypical college professor and never gave me any problems and actually encouraged it. I always liked the song "Big Time" because of the verse, "The place where I come from is a small town. They think so small they use small words. But not me, I'm smarter than that. I've worked it out. I'll be stretching my mouth to let those big words come right out..." Some curbie parents purposely train their child not to use words such as ellite and vapid in proper sentences. I don't understand a lot of curbie veiwpoints but this one takes the cake. Wouldn't using big words like that simply make a child sound inteligent?

I don't understand how self centered and selfish are two different things. They look the same to me. I have been called both.

I can see why people find it annoying, but as someone who relies on accuracy of words as used to understand what is expected of them, I am prone to it.

Perhaps a more literal explanation will make more sense.

Self centered: Viewing the world as it relates to ones self. From this we have phrases such as "The world does not revolve around you" or "She wants to be the center of the universe"

This differs from being selfish because while a self centered person does concern themselves with the needs of others, albeit channeled through themselves, a selfish person only concerns themselves with their own needs.

I remember when I was with my first ex, he didn't have a lisence (he didn't want to get one anyway) and someone offered him a job that would pay him $15 an hour but the problem was that job be 67 miles away from where we live and he expected me to drive him there if he took the job. No way was I going to use two hours of my day taking him there and back. I also worked too ands no way was I going to get off work and then have to drive an hour everyday just to pick him up and take him to work every morning and then have to go to my job.

My last ex said I was being self centered there. Some may say I was being selfish just because I didn't want to take him that far to work just because it take too much of my free time but my mom says no one would want to do that and the majority of my online friends thought that was crazy what he wanted me to do.

Maybe my ex used the wrong word?

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I think your ex was using the right word but applying it to the wrong person. He was being self centered because he only thought of his own commute and did not think about how seriously this would affect your commute.

being pedantic isnt automatically a bad personality trait, but like many things it can be depending on how its expressed.

for instance, when my 4 yr old aspie, instead of saying "you're right," says "you are correct" and calls me MOTHER instead of mommy, thats cute.

but when my aspie SO corrects my speech during casual conversation, thats unnecessary and can be rude. especially if its a simple mistake or a case of my lips moving faster than my brain when we both know exactly what was meant.

honestly, a lot of pedants come across as being know-it-alls. if someone says something that isnt grammatically or otherwise correct, before correcting them its better to evaluate whether they are genuinely incorrect in their thinking or whether it was just a simple mistake. if you both understand what was intended, there is no reason for a correction. if you arent sure what was meant or if they are truly incorrect, ask for clarification. there is no need for a correction if both parties understood what was being said and there is no true misinformation or incorrect knowledge.

a simplified example, chatting online with a friend:
them: i went to teh pool today
me assuming simple mistake: that sounds cool
me asking for clarification: do you mean the pool?
me being pedantic: you mean THE pool, not teh pool.

i do admit that being corrected is something i find extremely annoying. my SO and two of my kids do it to me frequently, and it drives me up the wall. i have a tendency to talk really fast and sometimes my words will fumble and not come out as intended. the world is not going to end just because i called a fork a spoon or called you by the wrong name when you are the only other person in the room and im looking right at you. its the same with live chatting online, i type really fast and usually dont bother to correct typos (i do in posts tho), i hate when people have to waste time and bandwidth to send a second message correcting the first when any doofus knows that teh means the

self-cen·tered (slfsntrd)
adj.
Engrossed in oneself and one's own affairs; selfish.

Goodness.

Pedantic is overly concerned with minute details, so I would say misusing words is not being pedantic.

My husband goes in the bedroom to talk on the phone because I keep correcting him because he gets his thoughts wrong about something or what happened that day, etc. I don't follow him in there of course.

misusing words is not pedantic, no. someone who corrects someone else for misusing words is often a pedant. pedantic is also formal or precise language usage, and often carries with it a negative connotation because to be pedantic is often considered to be condescending, which leads to one definition of pedant as being one who makes a show of knowledge. aka a know-it-all or show-off.

i am slightly being a pedant here, altho no condescension is intended =)

LOL Yeah. I realized that sentence was off, but was too distracted to fix it. I'm not pedantic. Much...