Family problems - oh boy

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My mother and brother aren't talking to each other and the rest of my siblings are siding with him.

When my dad died he left his kids and ex-wife shares in our house. She owns 50% and we all own 1/8.

My brother got a bit critical when my mum wanted to sell the house. I'm finding it hard to find work in this town and my mum hates her job. My brother and the rest of my siblings want to rent it out, but my mum still has a mortgage to pay off and doesn't want us to pay rates. She also has trust issues with her son and he thinks he holds all the answers. They're both as worse as each other.

I really am finding it all stressful and I know it's a cop-out but I want to know if I'm mentally unfit to even be a part of this. I don't see this house as anything more than something to live in. I don't know what rates are or much about a mortgage.

I don't want my family to fight and I don't want to take sides. I just want them to reach an agreement.

I seriously just need to get my life on track and this is just adding more pressure on me.

All I really care about are my interests, but I know I must find work and become independent so I'm working on that.

I'm 24 but emotionally I think I'm about 14 years old, if even that. I just don't want to have any involvement in this house.

You look like the lead singer of M.I.A.

And, I am sorry about your family troubles. Maybe this needs to be moved to The Haven.

I put it here for more people to reply to. Mods can move it if they want.

It's not a cop-out--this shouldn't be your problem. Focus on your own life--your interests AND finding a job AND becoming independent so you can get out of this situation ASAP.

Hang in there, sorry you have to deal with this. Family conflicts that put you in the middle of something you shouldn't have to deal with are royally unfair.

IMO, let them fight it out. If the house is sold, be sure to get the money for your 1/8 interest in it--that's legally yours.

Take care.

Yes. There is no way you are going to get them all to be peaceful with each other, and your interest is too small to carry any significant weight if a real battle gets going in court. But then because the court must approve anything actually done with an estate, at least as far as I know, you do not have to worry about somebody pulling a fast one and running away with it all if this matter is related to an estate with an actual will and an executor.

I think it really should be for your mother to decide... she owns 50% after all. Anyway I think you should just try and focus on your own work prospects and dont get involved.. it is hard enough to sort out one life let alone 7...

Thanks for the replies. They really did help. I suppose I am just worried about the stress this is causing my mum and the rift it's creating between the family.
I really hate money and what it does to people. I thought my own siblings would be bigger than this. I guess not. They are treating mum horribly too, though they always have had negative things to say about her. At least she has me.

Is there subsidized housing, in your area?

These kind of issues sometimes escalate into legal arguments, and then lawyers get fat off the grief and stress, everyone who started the argument ends up in debt, the house gets sold to pay the fees and you still all owe the taxes.

They need to simmer down because either his answer or her answer will leave you better off than the argument - and there probably is not much financially between the two (rent? sell? who cares, you will not be living in it). One slight balancer that I like is that one of the answers (sell) is final while the other (rent) has the potential to tie everyone in argument for years.

But like everyone else has said, it is Someone Else's Problem, you are a bystander and should try to cut your emotional involvement as much as possible. The house really does not matter, your family relationships do.

Hey Pensieve, I'm sorry to hear about this. I would let your mother handle it. It's great that you are there for her.
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If she is the one with the morgage to pay and you both need to go elsewhere for work, they should stop fighting with her about it.
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In some areas, it's difficult to rent out houses and some renters are distructive.
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Anyway, I hope it all works out.
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Taupey