I had a meltdown...feel ashamed

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Yesterday we went to go get my treadmill from storage. I got alot of stuff we needed, but then I tried to get the treadmill and it would not go over the chair that was holding up 20 boxes behind it. I did not want to move it for fear of an avalanch (sp). So I decided to hoist it over the chair, but it got stuck. Mom told me that we could get it later, but I deserately needed it. It has been in stoarge since I got it (2 years), no matter how much I begged for it. I am overweight and tired of feeling bad about myself. When she told me that we will get it later...I just nutted up. I worked hard as I could to get it unstuck...but it would not. Sweat, tears and banging my head on boxes did not get it out. I finally resigned only to feel 1) like a failed, 2) ashamed of carrying on like that.

I still feel stupid, but I was hot, miserable, overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in there, and pissed cuz I wanted my treadmill.

I would've likely melted too. Not a big deal, especially around just your mom. I did it in public just the other day. People care less than you think, especially your own mother.

ohh I hate doing that in public. One time, I was in the alanta airport. I made a mistake in booking the rental car for the wrong day and of course no refund and no changing days. They could squeeze me in at 2 am, but after all day of traveling and people bumping into me crowding was beyond my level of coping. I just cried, shaking and pulling my hair right in the middle of the airport.
My sister who was studying for law finals had to come and get me. That is truely embarrasing.

thanks for the encoragement...you are right, I could have done that in public and would be feeling really bad.

My mom told me yesterday, "you do a good job of holding together, until you lose it...and when you lose it, you really lose it"

My sister is coming to visit soon and she does not have much patience for meltdowns...I hope I can keep it together while she is here.

So what happened when you melted?

I only have this problem when someone is mean
to me.

Some terrorist at our favourite chinese place
beanhatched about my safety radio "being too loud"
when the owner of the place after all was done said
he cood barely hear it, and it had an earphone.

The old terrorist beanhatched and I shouted
'EAT MY SHORTS YOU OLD BUTTFACE!! !"

He goes "Whad you say boy?" and then
I screamed it right in his face and threw
the sauce bowl at the wall and kicked the
chair and threw some more stuff and he just
said "Your crazy, the hell with this pllace and
the hell wiht you!" and I said
"GOOD STINKYBUTT GO EAT A ROTTEN POTATO!!"

Or something like that, I can't remember what
happend.

The good that acame out of it is the owner guy
never liked hism, he wanted to refuse him service
one time but something about i don't know anyway
and this was Ownerguy's good excuse he told me
because Old Terrorist always beanhatches about
the food, (G, WHY DOES HE EAT THERE!! !??")
beanhatches about the prices, and beanhatches
at other customers who have kids (and not always
the noisiest either).

Ownerguy makes the sbest dang Chinese food
in the state I live in , paws down, the best I
have ever had and this Old Terrorist beanhatches
about it, in the end I said sorry to Ownerguy for
the malfunction and like he said it gave him a
good esxuse to get rid of Old Terrorist so all
was ok in the end.

I have had meltdowns because I needed something "like I need that thing right now" ones, sometimes even the little things can trigger a huge paralyzing meltdown, like leaving my keys in the car when I know I have a spare in my change purse.

I guess it worked out well for both you and the owners....that was a good healthy fit though. what does beanhatched mean???

I remember a time when I was at an inpatient vocational rehab place and my mom called me to tell me that my father was trying to frame her and get her thrown in jail. (they have a long history of him trying to kill her and otherwise get her jailed or commited because he wanted out of the marriage without having to pay a fortune in alamony since she was a stay at home mom who is very medically fragile) Anyway, long story short...I nutted up. My anger built up to the point I could no longer contain it. By that evening, some person got in my face and I about decked him but knowing that he was alot bigger than me and the fact I am female and he was a grown man...I decked myself instead That he did not expect and he quickly left. I then was dragged into the office. They asked me what happened I told them what mom said....and this one staffer who I never liked anyway because she is such a snotty fake b**** told me. "I know how you feel" but she said it in a very condensending way. I just went off like a rocket...told this lady..."you dont know sh@t" and threw a chair at her screaming like a banche. Well needless to say, I got kicked out of the program. That fit did not work out well...it took me 6 months to get back in the program and all my friends already left by the time I got back, so I had to make friends all over again plus my parrents were Po-ed at me and mom felt guilty for telling me that.

Don't feel bad about melting down - it doesn't improve things to feel bad, anyway! BTW, I nearly melted down at the doctor's office 3 days ago. I have chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia, so the simplest excursion has to be carefully planned to allow for fatigue and exacerbation of symptoms. I had to go in early, while fasting, to have blood work done. My doc had told me to come in any day, because he would have the orders in and all I would have to do is show up. So, I get there starving, having slept poorly, only to find that they couldn't draw blood because the doctor HAD FORGOTTEN to place the orders! I thought I'd go through the roof. Luckily my boyfriend was with me, and he always has a calming influence. After calming down, I asked if I could speak personally to the doctor. He came out and apologized, and ordered the blood work on the spot. There were all sorts of choice words I would like to have screamed at him, but in the end I would have just gotten thrown out of there.

I had a mother of a meltdown in public, before Christmas, last year. A girl who was kicked out of my circle of friends, raised her voice at me, because I put my bag on the table a little too hard, in the Wal-Mart McDonald's and there was a baby beside us. That sorry little bioch told Dean and Barb to ignore me, because she thought that I was having, a temper tantrum. That little devil was wrong. I wasn't having a temper tantrum. I was having one of those emotional meltdowns that you all know me for, at WP. The crying ones that I'm always telling you guys, about. I was so upset with the way that I was treated, by that demon that night, that I was yelling at the teenagers who were walking in and out of the store, and I almost ran out, in front of a car that was speeding by the front of Wal-Mart, to end it all. She did apologize, the next day.

An adult aspie generally handled things in a more logical manner. I can understand meltdowns when you are not in control of the situation, but in your case, you were in control. The treadmill went in there somehow and all you needed to do was to figure out how. Then remove the items in the way in reverse order.

To Beanhatch, that is my word for the Bxxxx word,
I don't want to use bad words on a bord if I can
control it.

ah well i wouldnt worry about it dude, even normal people have meltdowns

hartzofspace I think I would have nutted up too If I were you...you are lucky you have a supportive partner.

n4nwd I think it was the heat and the desperation to get this weight off and the fact that unloading the chair that was in its way would have resulted in removing 15-20 boxes stacked 10 feet high. I felt trapped

thank you all for your support

I was at my autism research study, where a group of 6 of us do a social-cognitive therapy with coaches (aka, PhD psychologists). I had just been at the dentist, and he poked my gums everywhere to "see if they bled" (it was part of a special assessment and needed to be done, and he apologize every time, but it HURT), and I'm funny about things in my mouth. Also, I've been working 20 hours/week instead of 12, and then going to this research study on two of my days of and regular old (useless, in my case, because I'm often nonverbal) "therapy" on my days off...

And I just lost it and started crying and pacing. I called my mom (one of two people who I'll venture to speak to over the phone) and said, "Mom, I don't know what's wrong." And that's all I could get out, about 6 times. And she finally said, "Lydia, go talk to Dr. G and tell her you need help calming down. She'll help you."

So I went into Dr. G's office and said, "Mom says I need help calming down." She said, "I would say you do, wouldn't you?" And she talked to me about nothing much, about the study mostly I think, and then we tried to see if there was anything I could cut out of my schedule but there's really not... and then I was done melting (luckily it wasn't a bad one) and got a diet soda and went to group with Dr. G. and was fine.

I hope it was aspartame free diet. Considering all the harmful neurological effects of aspartame, its kind of like a lung doctor offering you a smoke.

super trooper...thats not much fun. I think she was talking to you about the nonsense stuff because she wanted to distract you from what was bothering you. Sometimes that does work...in your case it seemed to. I hate melting down in public but thankfully you were surrounded by insightful, understanding folks instead of rude n/t's.

super trooper...thats not much fun. I think she was talking to you about the nonsense stuff because she wanted to distract you from what was bothering you. Sometimes that does work...in your case it seemed to. I hate melting down in public but thankfully you were surrounded by insightful, understanding folks instead of rude n/t's.