Anxious/Nervous Drivers-What's worked for you?

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I really, really want to learn to drive a Car and get my driver's license, so I can be even more independent, but I have extreme anxiety surrounding it, especially the thought of driving on highways and even in quiet residential neighborhoods. For those of you with severe anxiety who have managed to drive, what's helped you? Any input is more than welcome! Thanks in advance!

Start off by practicing the basics in an empty parking lot when there's little chance of other cars pulling in (such as at an office building on a Sunday morning). Keep practicing until you are familiar with the gears and comfortable with all the basics like turns, accelerating, braking, etc.

When you begin driving on roads do it on quiet residential streets during hours when there's unlikely to be much traffic. Make sure you're familiar with the roads and know the route ahead of time; keeping things as predictable as possible will minimize the stress and anxiety (but be always be prepared unexpected things like kids balls rolling onto the street, road blocks etc.)

Make sure to practice with someone who is a good driver and good at teaching/explaining things.

It sounds cliche but I really think practice and being prepared are at best things to reduce anxiety with driving. When I drive I like to know my route right down to the lane I should be in since I hate merging suddenly, but it's also good to have alternate roads in mind in case a road is closed for construction of something. I always try to have a map, know major street names and have a few landmarks in mind for where I'm going- there's enough to worry about when driving without worrying about getting lost.

Have you driven at all? I have pretty bad daily anxiety and I was very suprised to find that I didn't struggle with learning to drive at all. Your instructor will probably start with taking you round a very quiet, residential area and will not try to force you to progress faster than you feel happy with. After all, they are getting paid by the lesson so *if anything* he wants you to learn slow. If you end up with an instructor who doesn't suit you or inspire you with confidence: change instructor. I did and I was *much* happier with the second guy. He was really understanding and good about my anxiety which was a new experience because I am male and other men very rarely make an effort to understand. In the end I passed first time which, considering how on a lot of days I can't even leave the house with the anxiety, is pretty cool and I was quite pleased with myself.

TLDR version: If you didn't try yet, give it a go; you might be suprised. If your instructor doesn't make you feel comfortable, get another.#

Edit: I just noticed where you said that even a quiet neighbourhood would scare you. Well, it did for me too! The instructor just had me driving around at like 5-10 mph at first. At that speed even if something does go wrong no harm is gonna come of it I just kept telling myself that.

Edit again: I'm now a very confident driver. Shame I'm not confident about anything else in life, lol.

For me it helped a lot to practice as much as I could WITHOUT someone sitting next to me. My nervousness during driving was mainly because of the other person, not because of my driving skills. I've never had an unrealistic sense of my skills, and am still convinced it leaves a lot to be desired, but others tell me I'm cautious and good at it. As long as I am alone it goes very well. This is just me, but after practicing a lot alone, I managed to become much better and my anxiety has gone down to almost zero.

I get really focused when I drive.

I learned to drive the hour I got my temps. my dad parked the truck on a steep hill. it was pretty challenging to get rolling without going backwards. I picked up the rest pretty fast.

A big thing is where you look when driving. the best place to look is as far down the road as you can.

I really hate driving.

Even though I do not identify myself as Christian, I find that listening to Christian radio helps to calm my nerves. The songs are usually upbeat and optimistic about life, and it is comforting to hear that everything is going to be okay, even if the singer's reasoning for believing so is different than mine. Any type of positive, energetic music that doesn't drive you into a sensory overload should help to calm your nerves. The littlest of things can sometimes provide the greatest beliefs. Perhaps you can hang something sentimental or something that you find relaxing from your rear view window. Perhaps you can get a steering wheel cover that feels very nice in your hands or that soothes you with its aesthetics. If something relaxes you that won't distract you from driving, consider driving with it in the car.
In any instance, I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your anxiety.

For me what worked was PRACTICE. Also finding times and places where the traffic wasn't too terrible, to practice until I felt comfortable controlling the car, that it was becoming second nature. Once that begins (this increases the longer you drive - in years) then you will be better off trying out higher traffic and higher speed situations.

I also became extremely observant when riding with good drivers, as to how they merged into traffic on the freeway and so forth. It's something I never thought much about until it came my time to learn to drive and then I was in something of a panic about it, so I watched and watched, and got used to the car, and eventually I was able to drive on the freeway and in traffic.

It continued to get better once I had my license and I could spent time alone driving. I'm actually a better driver, even now, when I'm alone in the car. Someone else in the car distracts me.

It's was also important to have someone ride with me, while learning, who would be quiet unless there was something urgent they need to tell me. I could not learn with my dad, he was too talkative and had to critique every move I made. Find someone sort of laid back - BUT RESPONSIBLE AND TRUSTWORTHY - who will ride with you and knows how to not make you more nervous. My mom was much better, quieter and encouraging more than critical - and very brief in her criticisms rather than getting into a lecture about the whys and wherefores while I was trying to drive.

I still get nervous in new situations - always have. I try to make sure I know exactly where I'm going, so I'm not fighting my sense of direction or nervousness about getting lost AND dealing with traffic too.

Get plenty of sleep, and if you drink caffeine, have some so you're alert - but not too much so it won't make you too tense. There's a frame of mind I like to be in for driving, sort of the same you might need to play a computer game or solve a puzzle, or even for playing tennis - alert, aware but sort of relaxed too. Experiment with ways to get yourself into that mindset, and it will help you be a better driver.

Build up to it at your own pace. When you feel ready, that's best.

Thanks for all the great advice, you guys!

For me, it was just practice, practice, and more practice.

I never had professional driving lessons, and my parents taught me to drive. The first time behind the wheel, I got uneasy when coasting along and another vehicle passed going in the other direction.

I started out learning in an office park - very little traffic with a few parking lots to practice maneuvers in. After I got confident with that, we moved on to back country roads (much faster, and a little bit of traffic, but still relatively calm). Then we moved onto busier main roads, and eventually interstate highways (motorways). The first few times I started driving by myself, I was still a bit nervous, but I got better and now its second nature. I also did a few long distance trips shortly after getting my license, but with someone in the passenger seat. Even then, I can drive them crazy if I miss a turn and we both have a different idea of how to turn around and get back on course - I am more likely to find a side road and a parking lot to pull into than cut across three lanes of traffic to make a U turn, and it's a good idea to have a GPS/sat-nav unit or smartphone with GPS navigation to take off some of the load and reduce the chances of getting lost.

A lot of driving involves understanding how other drivers behave and how to avoid annoying them (impatient drivers honking is a good way to raise stress levels). I don't speed, so I stay out of the left (in the US) lane unless I have a good reason to be there, such as preparing to make a left turn or passing slower drivers. I don't weave in and out of lanes on the highway and when I do want to change lanes or anticipate a turn, I signal (indicate) for a couple of seconds before starting the maneuver. There are always going to be "a-holes" on the road, such as tailgaters, people who cut in front of you in the merge lane, and people glued to the their cell phone

Note to moderator: We need to create an official driving with AS guide.
You should get comfortable with car control before you take it out on a public road. A disturbingly large portion of what is taught you in drivers Ed or in your six hour lesson is completely incorrect and makes driving much more difficult. I found www.trackpedia.com to be very helpful. I prefer to drive with the radio off. I find that a good simulator (Gran Turismo 5 for PS3 or Iracing for PC) with a good steering wheel (Logitech or Fanatec) can help. However, I do not consider myself a nervous driver but rather, a very confident one.